Blog

Interview with Iyanu Komolafe; Of an Àmàlà escapade, uncommon career ambition and some confidence.

One otherwise regular day in my final year in university, I’m hungry for a good cooked meal – local cuisine (swallow) to be precise. But I’m tired of putting in any efforts. I’m absolutely disinterested in going to the market.

I have about one month left to graduate but I can’t shake off this desire to have a bowl of soup delivered to me. More accurately – I want rich ogbona and okro soup with chicken. I can’t shake it off. Yet I’m irritated at the thought of going to the market. I want to be pampered.
My friend, Courage, puts up an advert poster of a cook on his WhatsApp status. I save the number and chat up the person, having no clue it was someone in my campus fellowship who knew me.

Lady tells me a certain price for the soup and I think ahnahn! I’m instantly thinking, “babe, I know the price of okro o”.
I tell her “its above my budget right now and I would find my way to the market”. What’s good? she says it’s okay, with grace.


Then she offers to help me cook when next she goes to the market (If I recall properly, cook for free though I pay for the food stuff). I’m blown at that.

It’s that kindness, that virtue that draws me to Iyanu at first. I never did get to taste her soup but hopefully soon enough when she becomes Nigeria’s No 1 irresistible chef. Because I tell you that no one resists grace, and Iyanu of Iyzzy’s kitchen treated me with grace.

Oh, and with the price, apparently, it was lack of good communication. she was calculating the price of the bowl of soup with assorted meat already. I was being very Ijebu-like*, with the tactic of pricing the soup first (armed with knowledge of the price of okro , forgetting ogbona) before knowing if I’ll proceed to tell her what type of meat!

I have Iyanu of Iyzzy’s Kitchen here today to give us some fine gist on her personality, ambition and passion.

Welcome, Iyanu.


DB: First off, Iyanu gives us six facts about herself. I figured some familiarity with the guest is crucial.

I’m IyanuOluwa Ruth Komolafe aka Bosslady Cookist!

  • I love to cook, I’ll never give up on cooking, no matter what happens, but I’ll keep trying.
  • I’m into students politics; at the moment, I’m an Honourable member of the University of Ibadan, Students’ Union 8th assembly.
  • I love Jesus.
  • Purple is my favourite colour
  • I can make the world’s most amazing sweet potato porridge.
  • I hope to, I’m going to Le Cordon Bleu, Paris, France by Abba’s grace.

DB: I have a major preoccupation with your age. How old are you?

I’m 18, my birthday is November 11, a really special date.

DB: You’re 18 and you have everyone calling you boss, boss lady. Did you pick up this name yourself? I know you write it often in connection with yourself.

Bosslady is short for ‘Bosslady Cookist’. Most people leave out the Cookist part. My friends started calling me Bosslady and I allowed the name stick while adding Cookist to it. Perhaps you shouldn’t bother checking the dictionary for the word Cookist, I coined it myself.

DB: So you’re one confident 18 year old. This confidence has some relation to your career ambition, am I right?

Yes, I’m confident, I know what I want and I go for it with all my energy.

DB: Now, I’m curious about you because I’ve seen you write down that you want to be a law librarian. That’s not conventional at all.
What inspired this? What are the prospects of this your dream changing in the future?

Why a Law Librarian? I have heard this question more times than I can count.

I really fancy libraries. I was the Library Prefect in my secondary school before applying to study law at University of Ibadan. There, I was admitted to study Library, Archival and Information Studies. I spent a year in that department before crossing over to Law to continue my university degree. I can say that I’m convinced beyond doubts that being a Law Librarian is just it for me; yunno in touch with the law and the library.

If at all, this stance will change, that’d only be because I need all the time I can garner for cooking.

DB: Cooking. Did you attend any culinary schools? What exactly about cooking draws you in?

I didn’t attend any cooking school although I made attempts during a union strike. The strike was called off before I could start.
I’m proud to say that my wealth of experience is from exploring with food.

I have read a whole lot of articles on food and cooking, I watch videos and I ask questions too.
I write on food and cooking on my WhatsApp status. I’ll be launching my blog soon to cover a wider range of audience and for posterity’s sake too.

“…what exactly about cooking draws you in?…
I grew up with nannies from different tribes and they each cooked their traditional dishes. I tasted and loved them. I remember the first time I wanted to fry plantain, I peeled the back off and then rinsed it thoroughly. I wonder what was going through my mind.

Ozoz Sokoh of Kitchenbutterfly.com is a major inspiration for me. I love how beautifully well she talks about Nigerian cuisine. Reaching out to her, she encouraged me to let people see what  I love doing with food and I’m very glad I’m in touch with her.

In addition, the feedbacks I get from people who try my recipe, a cooking tip, or kitchen hack I told them about or the people who call me when they are stuck while cooking; these things always gives me joy.
I cook when I’m tired, sad, happy, energetic – any mood at all.
I strongly believe that There is more to food than eating. Food is a means of survival; physical and economical.

DB: Tell us one of your craziest experience about cooking or a client you’ve had.

I have had quite a number of crazy cooking experiences but the memory I’m most fond of is when I was nine (9) years old, we had a Ghanaian house help at home. She was cooking amala on this fateful day, I entered the kitchen and met her at it, I told her:

This not how to make amala, my mommy doesn’t make it like this“.

She left the pot for nine year old me to prepare it. I eagerly sat down to turn a pot of amala for seven people. The first stir was with the amala sitting in the pot, the second, landed the hot amala on my leg! I screamed out, the amala burnt my leg for what seemed like forever. She ran to my aid, cleaned the amala away from leg and put cold pap ( DB: pap is reputed to be the fastest first aid relief for kitchen burns) on it but the deed had been done. I have a scar on my leg that concludes this story.

DB: Give us a simple recipe/ cooking hack

I made it into a picture to ease up space and make it readily downloadable.

Thank you, Iyanu.


So Iyanu has this easy confidence around her, and I found the bulk of campus fellowship brethren when I was in University calling the young lady, ‘boss lady’. That’s some chill 18 year old vibes.

To also have found her precision with her career ambition and in an unpopular path among law students had me further interested. All this, of course, was only made possible by her kind personality in the encounter I led up this post with.

Apart from other lessons, if there are any morals to this, I believe you have a great story yourself, but sometimes your channel to so express it is hidden in your everyday gesture towards people.

Perhaps if you’ll offer to cook a meal for someone today, we’ll hear about how amazing you are.


*Ijebu-like : Ijebu is a town in Ogun State, SouthWest, Nigeria. The term ‘Ijebu-like’ is commonly used among the Yoruba people of Nigeria to illustrate a person who is miserly with money.

With Love and Light as always,

Debby.

BOOK REVIEW; The Circle by Ted Dekker

We double through two realities. A startling question is asked “which is the real reality”.


There are certain points to note before going into the review in full.


1. As a general rule, I don’t read reviews on a book I’m about to review.

At first, it never crossed my mind to do so. When it did occur to me, I thought I didn’t want any other voices shaping how I thought of a book before I would pen down my first thoughts. (See how I got in three thought’s in there. I may have got my groove back). But this is Ted Dekker. Ted Dekker. He leaves my head reeling sometimes. I had to glance at some reviews for my thoughts to come together on this one. Moreover, I read this book close to a year ago – my last novels before resuming at Law school – and I’m only just reviewing it.

2. In the course of reading a review, I noted a reviewer wrote that this book is fantasy! Wait, what? Oh that’s so true. I rarely ever set out for fantasy books. Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti’s books do pull me to that side though.
Sit tight to know why this is one fantasy book you would want to read, even if its not usually your genre.


Ever saw Hannah Montana? She sang “you get the best of both worlds”. Yes, that’s the play in these four books – Black, Red, White, Green.

Thomas Hunter awakens in a different reality after a gunshot wound to the head. His life is never stable after that, and neither is anyone’s globally. The world powers would come to depend on this guy for information – what is he exactly? A psychic?

He oscillates between two worlds as a hero of a sort. His actions( including possible death) in one world affect his actions in the other, and vice versa. But his help is needed as the world is running towards destruction. Which world, you may ask? Both.


The book is a four-in-one series. It starts with Black, then Red, White, and Green. Green can as well be book one. Someone said its book 0. The series has a cyclical projection with the last book merging into the first, resulting in no ending. It begins at the end, and ends at the beginning. (read “Circle Series”).

Its gripping. Full of rocky uncertainty and it keeps a reader locked in. Not necessarily the most artful wordsmith there is, Dekker is however gooood with his imagery and anticipation antiques.

Anticipation is built up by the happenings in both worlds though set apart by eons.

Book’s spiritual realities, especially the portrayal of sin is crazy. You’d be reading and you’d find out you know exactly what present reality the future description is pointing out. Launching into Elyon’s presence is made possible as it is a pool. Changing from Horde to Albino is made possible only through death when you drown(new birth in Christ) – in this drowning, blood-water pushes super violently against your lungs and everything you’ve ever been, you choke, gasp, do nothing to save yourself.

Sin is in the awful skin scabs, jaundiced eye and stink. But this sin is the norm, so the fresh-skinned are the outcasts, the albinos, hated and incomprehensible.

What else is efficient? The themes from Black running through into Green. In White alone, the themes race from the great deception, to the Antichrist, Mark of the best and Amargeddon and contrary to what you may think, there’s no bore.

Hidden spiritual battles in the past world (our time) are revealed in the future world as physical realities.


Raison Strain is the deadly virus terrorists are employing in the past world. How can Tom’s “best of both worlds” experiences stop the Raison Virus? Will the presidential seat of the United States give enough credibility for ruling the nation to someone who appears to know things from his sleep? No one knows what will happen globally in the face of the terrorists spreading the raison strain. No one knows what will befall the circle who seek Elyon. No one knows anything but that ruin is on speed-drive.


To have my bases covered, I’ve got those of you who’ve been waiting for it; yes, there’s love in this book. Male-female relationship love. Thank you. And it brims with radical meaning.


At the end of it all, what I’ve written is a book review cum recommendation. I’m still willing to discuss on Ted Dekker, and these series in particular with any willing takers.

I reccomend this book to persons interested in the Christian faith in some capacity (being an allegorical work which helps expand some scriptural revelation). If you’re a fantasy-thriller reader, go for this. Looking for some fast-paced read or a challenge? you’re welcome.

Indicate if you’re willing to read the book and I hope you enjoy it when you do. If you’ve read the book, do give your thoughts. You can share this link with your friends who read too. Till next week Saturday.

Love and Light,

Debby.

Writing Travails | Book Review; City Of Angels

I still can’t believe I’m doing this.

Writing the first draft of Saturday’s post on Friday. That rubs off on me as pure plain unserious. That’s twice in a row…oh wait, last week’s was even written on the selfsame Saturday.

I attempted writing this week. Writing just to get in back in groove. And guess what I attempted writing? Fiction. I know! Its been forever. Earlier this year I got the impression I’d be writing some more this year, fiction inclusive. Right now, I’m wondering if I got that impression right.

Even book reviews scare me! Imagine.

If you’re very concerned about my writing life, kindly order me a pile of novels to read. Paperbacks. Any books by Khaleed Hoseinni may do right now.

If there’s one thing you can take away from law school, its discipline. Lol, I kid. I’m just trying to attach more depth to law school. All I’m heading to is that in the spirit of discipline, I managed to write a passable book review. The strain of it.

City of Angels by Jamie Peterson and James Scott Bell.

It wasn’t exactly my kind of novel. I was on a road trip. It was a book lying around and so I flipped one page after another until I found out I was in fact reading it.

Kit’s shoulders are squared, she would not listen to the naysayers and to the pressure put on women in society simply spelt as attending or hosting dinner parties while adhering to etiquettes. Kit Shannon has come to Los Angeles to be a lawyer or so she thinks.


The themes of this book center around courage, mentorship, faith, and the crookedness of law practice back in the 1900s. The show book is further spiced by edgy courtroom drama.
The characters are credible and I’d empathize with aunt Freddy any day. They however don’t necessarily hook a reader.


The plot heightens with a certain court room case that’ll determine everything in Los Angeles.
Who’s the killer? Who’s mentally deranged?
That has to be my favourite part of the book.

What happens to attractive Kit Shannon in the world of Los Angeles and in a profession for the ruthless men?

Disslikes

1. I had absolutely no clue it was part of a series until I ran a google search after completing the book.

2. The story line also starts out as a cliche.

Who should read this book? Anyone who’s free for some easy yet gripping and interesting read.

Another thing you should note if you try buying the book is that there are other novels with the same title, so note the authors carefully.

I hope you had a good read. Till next week Saturday guys. Don’t forget to share with your friends.

Love and Light,

Debby.

2020; Our return to the blogosphere

Guys…I was waiting for 2020. Waiting for it. We’re in 2020. It’s been great so far, yes. One reason why I was waiting for 2020 was so I could pick up blogging again. Here I am though, super reluctant to post.

Why? There’s some desire to only put out content that very obviously teaches or exhorts because of the increasing number of blog readers I have. This desire is stalling my blog updates in the anticipated 2020 (Zaza and I used to tag 2020 because with law school ending, there was going to be time to focus on other assignments). 

However, resuming from my writing (not just blogging) hiatus needs some warm-up and the best warm-up is just to journal and keep journalling. Journalling tends to be gisting.

So guys.. Let’s gist

Wait a bit. In further support of my stance to chill-blog is this post, I refer you to a post I uploaded some two years ago where I encouraged (lifestyle) bloggers to feel free to blog their shopping list one day and ‘change the world’ in a blog post the next.

Now, our gists.

I saw a writing sometime recently that says “Kindness is doing to each person, some good each day“. That breaks it down some bunkers, doesn’t it? So kindness is more remarkable in my daily affairs when I do good to someone’s life. When I perform an act, I know what it is and I’m grateful for it. It was kindness when I informed and even helped register my classmates who had the same reg problems I had on a certain portal for final university clearance. It was kindness when I shared gems of wisdom to some of my best girls still in school at a cafe during our short meet up. Kindness, when my sister and i first had some girl talk involving planning various dinner gowns, and when we had spiritual and life building talk. It was kindness (or was it) when I had fun taking pictures with some of my friends (and when I took a pose which embarrasses and crashes my gentle girl credibility). Just add some good.

Ahah…in reference to the crashing of my gentle girl credibility. I did the pose. I really wasn’t doing it. I was joking with my girls and telling them on a light note that we’re conservative and boring with photo styles unlike the many poses we see online. Then I did the stoop, as an example, joking. Or so I thought, until the pictures were presented and we discovered my zealous sister had caught me on camera . My girls weren’t having it. They  got the picture with great joy and strength. Sighs.

Explaining here how there are so many poses we see online
Here’s how its done. And baam, photographer stores it for life.

In other news…I was at a wedding today. It was a double-wedding relating to a set of twins I love from university fellowship. We had to live in the same hostel at some point in university and we had a great time in fellowship.

It was a mini reunion for some of my friends from differing years back. 

With some friends I got to squeeze in some picture with
Sister D

This gets me to one of the gems I shared on friday – (especially if you’re still in university) Know that some of your best friends in life will be those you get in your ‘humble’ state. Without airs of achievements but preferably in the toils of service towards God and plainly desiring him. They’re some of the best friends you’ll ever have; without any fear of betrayal and with confidence that they can correct you at all times no matter what height you reach in life.

Another gem a university student may love to learn is this – invest. Invest in people. Give. Give your time and energy and money. Teach and pray for others in campus fellowship (and beyond). Don’t serve in fellowship half-heartedly. People never ever forget those that poured into them. Its moulding time.

That’s about all the gist I have for now dear people. In clearer terms, I’m back from law school and I got welcomed with imported goodies to munch on.

I also got back to my alma matter to finalize what I didn’t get to before going to law school. In the weeks to come, I’d be resuming my service year and taking on other projects.

I gave a compressed 2019 recap here, if you care for such. Much love and light.

To growth, beauty and confidence to blog again.

Debby.

2019 Highlights

The first half of 2018 and the second half of 2018 feel lifetimes apart. I couldn’t imagine that January and December were of the same year if it wasn’t for this recap.

Now, the above is exactly the opening paragraph used on a blog I discovered last year.

Same blog inspired me to write my yearly recap in a monthly fashion and not in a manner I was previously inclined to.( www.brunchataudreys.com )


Isn’t it then interesting that her opening paragraph works for me as well. In experience, January 2019 was a world away from December 2019.

In December, I contemplated changing my mind on the pattern for the recap. I couldn’t envision giving the impression that my year was only a series of events in each month. My year was explosive. I learnt a lot spiritually. I learnt soft skills. These above mentioned things aren’t captured in this physical itinerary blog post. I doubt it really can, so let’s keep up with this pattern then

I hope you’re ready for this loooong post.

January

I started off the year at home, precisely at TKP retreat, as I have done almost all my life.
One recurring wish in January was that I would have to stop explaining to everyone ‘what I was doing at the moment’. Those two split seconds after I exchange greetings with a person (often older), and they, being somewhat sure I wasn’t working yet, and equally sure there’s been some time since I got admission into university, asked that question. Harmless enough, I still wasn’t a fan of the question. It made me desire to quit student life quickly despite still having law school ahead. Another greeting I was met with every time was ‘how’s school?’. I was synonymous with school, they almost didn’t expect that one could be apart from school. I don’t know which greetings was better.
The month was spent at TKP office doing missionary work, spent working on my final year thesis, spent with my family.

February

The early part of February was spent in the same manner, while the rest of it was spent at school. I hurried to complete my Final year thesis because final exams were at the door. I couldn’t wave off my desire to have my project work perfect.
I had a few responsibilities to tie up in different quarters – clubs, units and societies I belonged to. And my exams came head on.

March

March was spent writing my exams, and meeting law school application requirements. There was some lapse in my faculty’s communication to my classmates and I, so we had to complete our applications in such a rush, as the Law school deadline stared us in the face.
My final year thesis was finally completed, approved by my supervisor, and submitted. I spent some part of the month literally running around for my fellowship’s FYB(Final Year Brethren) team.

April

April was spent in the realization that law school was really here, I spent it catching up with a few friends. We had some FYB programs and yours truly was sourcing for funds for our final activities (I was assistant general secretary for my FYB). I have this audio recording on my phone which was made on the eve of my company law exam. It had been a Wednesday i.e weekly fellowship day and I had exerted myself to get funds for the dinner we were to have, my emotions were scattered and as I tried to have a revision discussion with one of my friends at night, I just couldn’t concentrate. So in my recording that night, I narrated the event to myself and then sang a certain song. Read my video hack post here to know more.

To round up the FYB activities was our commissioning service and dinner. At the dinner, I won best dressed female which I was running away from! Guess where I came in second? Cool, Calm and Collected award. And this was the award I didn’t mind bagging. My opinion was that FYB stress had me running about like adiye to ko somi, so why would I win CCC? Lol.
I spent the rest of the month going through the hassles of medical tests for law school. I spent it expecting to resume at law school.

There was also the graduation program for Law students in my school.

May

May? May was spent still waiting to resume law school. May was spent befuddled sometimes. In the dark parts, I was unhappy with some of my relationships and I couldn’t tell them why. I wrote and addressed letters to two people, but tore them right back. I spent it afraid of messing up future relationships through my flaws. Then in the lighter part of May, I spent it still seeing my flaws, but drawing nearer to Jesus for his perfection to rub off on me.
I concluded May resuming at the Nigerian law school.

June

June was spent integrating into the law school life. Meeting new friends, worshipping at Clasfon. Laughing with friends, taking pictures, soaking in God’s presence in Clasfon meetings.

July

My externship program started and having finally looked through the pros and cons of having the experience in Abuja, Lagos or Ilorin, Lagos won. I was adjusting to Magistrate Davies court style, adjusting to Lagos’ danfo buses and navigating it’s roads. The month faded into reading of law school books and taking pictures of the court room cause list so I would try to tie up the cases later on – such annoying task.

August

In August I thought what’er betide me at this law chamber. The first firm I was posted to, I found it unsuited to match the externship goals (hear, hear law students) and reported back to law school. My second posting was to a great firm. Two days in, and I was surprised at how many lawyers I had met. Some of whom became my friends.
I had strict hours unlike that which some other firms prescribed for externs. I had my fun and comfort learning there.
Lagos traffic shifted into a greater intensity and was coupled with the scarcity of busses, guys I’m still unnerved thinking of some of that Lagos situationship. Uploading on this blog hit a low, mostly due to no ability to leverage on my inspirations.

With some friends after our first UI group discussion at law school; posing with one of the many wall arts at my externship law firm; my externship magistrate courtroom; One of the friends I first connected deeply with in law school; goofing after our first UI discussion; with a friend at our lawschool welcome cocktail; eating at the cafeteria in my externship law firm; On my way to the firm; First week in law school

September

September caught me still at at the law firm.
My birthday on the 2nd, sneaked up on me and left me humbled and honoured, altogether.
Soon enough, I was waving goodbye to the people at the firm. I somewhat dreaded school even though for the longest time I had hoped for resumption. I found the reason to be the practice of law. No matter what I said on the extremely tiring days, law spoke my language and I enjoyed the summer affair.

               October

I was quickly inducted back into the law school system. I began to anticipate my elder sister’s wedding. I travelled for my sister’s wedding and had a world of experience (a part of which I shared about here). I got back to school and slept in class on my first day back, dozed in class on the second day. Soon enough though, I was re-settled in the system and I no longer dozed. The relief.

My sister’s wedding

November

November caught me solving past questions and discovering my shortcomings in my preparation for exams. Truth dawned on all, well, almost all. Exams were right around the corner. I was having some great time fellowshiping with the people of God at Clasfon. Finally, I had a pressure cooker mock trials. Pressure cooker because the preparation was for a really short time;and despite the names on paper, we were short of hands to get in the dirt. I was prosecution counsel and not defence, that meant more hardwork – we (Three prosecutors) created plenty detailed exhibits, prepped our own witnesses, and then got to the actual lawyers job. Pressure cooker. It wasn’t a levelled playing field at the end of the day, notwithstanding, the lessons I learnt were the real deal.

December

Whooo. All my life actions here were primarily tied to reading law school texts and anticipating the freedom in late January. It was spent growing in faith and reading for exams. With exams at full speed, my unit in Clasfon, the Prayer team still took time out for an exclusive in-house retreat for three days. Clasfon NLS Abuja 2019 and Clasfon prayer team was the best part of my law school experience.

Harmattan season in Bwari Abuja hit hard this month. My lovely paternal grandmother was buried this month but I didn’t get to attend – law school exams. Law school reading was the reason this blog was also on a hiatus. It was interesting the reformation that had happened to my thinking while at the law school. It was interesting how I started the year disliking two questions and where I had come to by December.

December then winded up with my exams on the eve. With my praise unleashed. And with my lessons cherished.


I hope 2019 was an amazing one for you. Even if it wasn’t, call it amazing. Name your years. Name 2020. I already called 2020 what it would be while in 2019 and it cannot be anything short of that.

I hope this blog blesses you exceedingly this year.

Love and light,

Debby

Pictures and gists from my Sisters Wedding last weekend

What I Miss: My Blog as it was last year. I miss writing articles like Hello strong Friend, book reviews like Born a Crime. Law has taken me on a different course. I still spend much time blogging, but they’re mostly getting the technical bits down and having it published properly. The time of spending days writing a single post have been on hold. I miss them.

Anyway, today is not for reminiscing. Today is for…(drum roll)… my sister. Okay, last week was for my sister. October 19. Today is for you all who want to know about my sister.

No, not really.

Today is for those who want to know about my sister’s wedding. Today is for you.

You know already that my post is coloured from my perspective (which tends to be painfully limited when I’m not wearing my glasses, of which I didn’t, last weekend). Lets go then.

What were my highlights?

Dancing

I’m sure you’re happy to see dancing gets its own respected position in this post.

Did I dig the dance? Absolutely not. I’m still Debby.

When I first knew it had happened and there was no hiding place: During the dance to the signing of the marriage registry.

The joke at home had been that I will only dig the dance when the bride does, in other that the attention is on the bride and not on my feeble attempts. Guys, man proposes, God disposes. Hmm.

Dancing into the reception hall: Chai.

Here’s a funny incidence at the reception- the width between the couple’s chair and mine on stage, was a little distance . So when we settled in, I was facing the world alone (the couple had each other). The couple had to step down to dance with parents at a point, best man was downstairs receiving instructions. I couldn’t sit on stage alone so I started dancing alone on stage for a long time in front of everyone (awkward limbs movement). I didn’t feel hugely embarassed but amused, until I told my mum and sisters later and they were laughing. Mum said I could’ve come down the stage. Then it occurred to me, Debs, you could’ve sat with friends for that period! Face palm. But then what’s life, if we don’t get to embarrass ourselves every once in a while.

Take it people – that’s how I dance. No body coordination.

The message at the engagement

The cordiality and sweet, simple fun at the engagement was a delight.

The decor did not dissapoint. What’s more? I had never expected a sermon like that at an engagement ceremony. It felt like Jesus’ address on that final day of the feast.

True, Deep and Quietly Loud. It was such a blessing that daddy has ordered that the message be packaged separately too by the videographers.

The Worship Night

My sister had said pretty early that she’ll love to have a worship night (i think her phrase was ‘praise night’) on Friday after the engagement ceremony. She had said no instruments, just our singing. I didn’t agree. Psalm 150:3 says to praise God with the sound of the horn; praise Him with the harp and lyre. I arranged for how a keyboard and guitar would be present.

The bulk of those available at the worship night were those with whom we had enjoyed fellowship together at our undergraduate days on campus: differing years of graduation and from different ends of Nigeria, we gathered again and praised the Lord. For me, the song underlying my heart was a Yoruba song saying “I’ll be praising you all my life”. Wherever I am, whenever it is, I’ll be caught praising God with his own people.

There was also a personalized song from the Groom to the bride after the worship session. So beautiful.

The Bridal Shower

We planned a surprise bridal shower in one week several kilometres away from the destination.

I was delighted to know the friends I could count on, and the beauty of it all. I planned certain events and games that didn’t go on, but it was all for good.

The bride’s statement at the shower that Her groom was one who always did what was right by and for her, and she had to be cautious to not take that for granted struck me. I think same goes for us and Christ.

Meeting Taiwo

Yes, Dorcas’ friend Taiwo, is a good Christian and I’m glad to have met her this period. Its an highlight o, because I hope to always leave an impression of Christ-likeness everywhere everywhere I go .

The little bride

She was well-behaved for the most part o. I really liked having her beside me. Esther (my younger sister) had the honour of managing her too.

Now, sitting in the front pew in church, I fed this baby her rice twice. On the second occasion, she gazed expectantly at her meat, so while the sermon progressed, I valiantly attempted cutting beef with a spoon (I had a poker face on).

It failed despite my steady attempts. I did the next best thing, I used my hand. Yes, right there. The meat did not yield. At a cross road, I decided to cut short the baby’s meat expectation and save my dignity. The possible accidents that the peppered meat could have caused till today, know no bounds. Whew.

The Fan experience

Do you experientially know what what it means to fan a bride during thanksgiving?

She’s in a big white dress that makes her perspire, people are dancing around her, she is dancing continuously for thirty minutes and I am there using a fancy hand fan to do what only an industrial fan should do, while I dance too.

It shouldn’t be made a way of life.

When I ran

Twice. At the church. Sighs.

First off, my dress had a train. Consequently, I was overtly saddled with picking up the bride’s train and not forgetting mine. I could’ve tripped on mine and fallen if I ignored it.

So I ran with my train. Dear D, I’m pretty glad at the miracle of it all.

I ran the first time to call the chairpersons for the day who were at the end of my church’s large compound. The bride wanted them to join in taking pictures. I managed this inspite of the crowd happily greeting me, it was like dodging bullets.

I ran the second time after I very conveniently packed the bride’s dress train into into the car and closed the door for her on her way to the reception from church. Sitting pretty in my daddy’s car, happy to have a breather, he hollered “Are you not supposed to be in Dorcas’ car? Who will help her with dress when she gets there?” So I raced after a moving car – my train cautiously following me.

Question Pre-emption : No, I didn’t ask for a train behind my dress. No, I didn’t try on my dress until two days prior.

People ought to have training manual on what it takes to be a chief bridesmaid. I told Dorcas I wouldn’t do it for someone that’s not my best friend.

After all these escapades sha, how do I know I did well and didn’t enter the couple’s book of “people to be mindful of against subsequent events”? The groom has taken to calling me “the best of the best ladies”. That’s good, innit? Together, they also made a mushy phone call to me. Couple affairs. Dear Lord.

Do I feel I didn’t get sufficient time to appropriately greet friends that came? yes

Did I feel an obligation to call everyone one by one, apologize for not having plenty time with them, and thank them profusely for coming too? Yes

Did I, by the following day, call some who travelled, to ask about their journeys? yes

Does this make me feel like the assistant bride? Yes!

Finally, am I ready to honour all those saying to me “you’re up next”? Hehehe. This answer requires it’s own blog post.

Those that asked for gists, I hope you’re satisfied.

Vote of Thanks: I appreciate the love shown to the bride, groom, and assistant bride this period. Let me join the yoruba tribe in saying “tie na a de o” “a ba eyin naa see nkan ayo”.

The experience was a lot more than I recounted here, for lack of space and time. The pictures aren’t satisfactory to me either, but “done is better than perfect”. Hopefully I’ll upgrade the pictures when I get other professional pictures.

In all, a ceremony lasts a few hours but the impact of a home built on the rock of Christ lasts a last time. Thanks for reading.


I considered not putting up this post because:

1) I do not yet have the professional pictures I was hoping to have and use along side, and

2) Today is a prayer conference in my NLS fellowship and we’re all praying ‘fire’. How can I while praying fire, write about a wedding?

But none of those excuses prevailed and so I hope you’ve considered this post worth the while.

With great love, I say see you here with a new post in two weeks. Pending the time, brush through my archives for other posts.

Light, Weddings and dancing,

Debby.

My False Adequacy

Hey guys. I’ve come up with a structure. Posts are meant to come up every Saturday but I’ve been pretty unstable with that recently. Yet, I have heard compliments in recent times about my consistency. Its non–existent in my opinion.

Stemming from this, I have decided to clear it out – a post every two weeks for the remainder of my time at the Law school.

Keep up the communication line when you can, by replying newsletters or using my Contact page. Much Love.


It comes to me as flashes at different times, this quote I published on my blog:

I was pushed into a cell, but you have to push yourself into one. You have no time to know God. You need to build yourself a cell, so you can do for yourself what persecution did for me – simplify your life and Know God

The full blog post is here, I wrote on Christian persecution.

It’s humbling, this discovery I’m making: I am NOT a humble person. Over time, I have somewhat trusted God to lead me into humility ( guys, I was going to type ‘I’ve somewhat been hitting the mark’ i.e I’m quite humbls, but it occurred to me that probably no humble person states that they’re humble. Amusing).

However, these past few days, my eyes have been open to see humility in a new light. It is so humbling. Here’s it: My pride is displayed when I don’t consciously take time to study the scriptures for two days simply because I’m pressed for time. My pride is displayed when I don’t daily consult the Holy Spirit for all my life decisions anymore. I used to. I have however under the pretext of ‘growth’ and ‘I’m attuned to the holy Spirit always’, given up the place of actually waiting, just quietening down to hear his voice. A false adequacy.

Here’s my take:

The most dependent on the holy Spirit is the one who prays always.The proudest is the one who can weather a day without God, after all no be yesterday dem born me i.e I was not given birth to yesterday.” A false sense of adequacy. I need to push myself into a cell, creating time away from my distractions. Build myself a cell and simplify my life.

“This is the one I esteem

He who is humble and contrite in spirit

And trembles at my word” Psalm 66:2

I see “trembles at my word” in a new light. I always knew it to be taking God’s word as final authority, to obey it, to not underestimate it. But now, I certainly don’t tremble at the word if I think two days without it won’t turn my life upside down. I’m saying ‘I’m not a novice at life, I can navigate to some extent’. To ‘tremble at’ it is to inquire, to search it out because I know its veracity. It is to lock up myself in a cell until the light comes. It is to give it more respect than I give law school.

Friend, If you can cope without reading the word, you may be in this boat I just left. How you treat the Word is in fact, how you treat God.

I’d say it again: The way you treat the Word of God is the way you treat God.

Let’s hope I get round to giving the pictured book a dignified reading, since just its title crystallized this lesson.


Love from this end,

Debby

DEAR MENTEE || Video hack

So I have this leading to start a segment where I write what’s desperately on my heart. Obviously, that’s what the entire blog is for, but this is different. On the blog, I’m addressing myself, addressing my future children and grandchildren, addressing you and your uncles and neighbours. This segment though is addressing my mentees or proteges, if you’ll like. The things that I desperately want to pass on to the younger ones (not only age wise) that’s what I’ll write here. They are some of the life tips I’ll tell my younger ones who come to sit beside me at night and say “advise me. Tutor me”. Its a broad range of advice.


 

The idea of this ‘dear mentee’ segment is really to reveal some tips and hacks about my life. Little structures that give me the result I get, that make me who I am, which I think you may want to learn from.

I wrote a blog post on how I use my gratitude journal here. I hope you read that and you’ve been abiding by it. Beyond that, I have a culture of recording short videos of and for myself. I have a number of them. Nothing specifically aesthetic, nothing intended for the gram or any social media. Simply for keepsake. It does nothing but help me worship God later on. Yoruba people say, the person that does not think deeply, cannot give thanks. Thanksgiving is not a function of what God has done for you, but what you remember and what you choose to do with what you remember.

The starting point is remembering, and don’t trust your mind to do that for you, it’s easily distracted and the little things which make up the big things.

This morning, I have spent time worshiping God for the process I’ve had this year. Right now, a video recording I once did of my morning devotions while in UI is playing on my laptop. I wish I could share the videos I have with you, but I’m not sure about the wisdom of that – being different personal videos, it’s not the safest thing I can do. I however think you should inculcate that attitude. Take short clips at wedding events with your friends, record your little sister having a fun game with you, record yourself narrating that instance that has stressed you out, record yourself returning from your first NLS CLASFON fellowship and what you thought about it, record yourself talking about your last week in UI, record yourself on your last day of your law school externship, record yourself when you feel depressed, when you feel ecstatic. At the end of the year, you won’t be able to say God hasn’t done anything for you. Your recordings will keep you in awe.

This video clip by Pastor Sarah Omakwu is a wonderful one analyzing why David could not keep quiet or dance sanely when he remembered so many things. If you trust yourself to remember enough to always give thanks, discard this video idea. If you don’t, knock yourself out with it.

I hope you get introspective enough to truly worship God all the days of your life. I hope you value each moment and see HIS hand behind it.

It was bishop David Oyedepo who said (emphasized) “the Lord answers prayers, but HE inhabits the praises of his people”. He lives in it.

 

I hope this has helped. Much love from this end of the hub,

I remain your sister, Debby

2019 Life Update (3)

It was last week I last published a post here. Wednesday night. I did essentially no publicity for it, just put it on the blog.

It was something I had written on my way back from work.

Guess who’s writing another post on a Wednesday night back from work.

I’m pretty tired. Pretty, being that I’m too tired to describe how tired I am. I’m physically tired. Yesterday, I was very strong. I got home feeling like I could conquer the world, it was surprising.

Today, I had to run around a bit in my law firm. I have lots of pending tasks. And what bugs me… What really bugs me right now is that I’m unable to properly read my emails.

Guys, I read my emails. I unclogged recently, unsubscribing from newsletters I do not need. So virtually every email I get now needs to be read, but I do not read them. I have so many important links I’m not clicking, so many good newsletters I’m not reading. It bugs me.

I cannot even bring myself to click them this week, because of the huge amount of things I need to read this week in order for life to be balanced again.

What of next week? I’ve got a lot to fill in my law school log book. This week, meaning tomorrow and Friday, I have to find a way to register my business name at CAC because I’m leaving Lagos this weekend and the extra 28 days for me to forfeit my payment and the processes so far are already counting.

I’m still reading for law school despite everything.

Nevertheless, guess what I just saw: My Gratitude journal affirmation:

 

With Love,

Present day Debby to Future Debby.