Posts in Educative

Ask me what I’m doing for Nigeria

Hii guys. I wrote this a year ago and I still believe in the message the post preaches. Do you think you were given your nationality as a punishment? Do you think you’re in Nigeria for such a time as this? Tell me what you think!


I’m a Nigerian.

In a day I see maybe five people talking about Nigeria on social media and … all of them are negative.

Surely God doesn’t give us Nationalities to punish us. Surely.
I’m scrolling through my Whatsapp updates and I see that everyone is lamenting the recent shootings in Jos.
Then immediately after, I get a news notification; Nigeria has overtaken India as the largest number of people living in poverty.

A motivational speaker and leadership expert, Fela Durotoye put it like this when I listened to him speak at the Platform Nigeria:

“Soon, it won’t lie in us to blame our parents’ generation for what’s gone wrong in Nigeria anymore.

One day, your children would look at you and ask what you did to make Nigeria what it is today”

This haunts me. A lot.

I’m right in that place where my actions begin to become relevant for what happens in Nigeria. Right now, I’m simply still working on attaining my LL.B* and enlightening one person at a time through my blog posts. Right now, I’m keeping used water sachets and wrappers in my bag when there’s no waste bin around, rather than throw it on the sidewalk. Right now, I’m just telling the truth in my class and small groups rather than telling nothing. Right now, I insist on my subconscious and conscious mind believing in Nigeria’s greatness.

Right now, I’m practicing what it takes to treat Nigeria right. To make her great.

Right now, what are you doing?

To be honest, you have to be doing something. Ask yourself “what am I doing right for Nigeria?”

It won’t lie in us to blame anyone anymore. If we do nothing, oh, we’re getting the blame.

Love and Light,

Your Nigerian Ambassador (Debby).


*As you know your girl now has her LL.B.

Go ahead and give your comments.

How I Use My Gratitude Journal

Hello people. I had this post written a few months ago, and I’m finally glad to publish it.

I believe I’ll be doing something good for someone by teaching them how to really see the benefits in everything that comes their way.


You need a gratitude journal.

You can have this in any form but I do have a sustainable system (after other failed attempts over the years).

My foolproof system comes in form of a phone application. Its available on for download on every phone store. Gratitude App.

My entries each day range from little things like being grateful for the succulent chicken I ate, the scent coming from my air freshener, to great things like friends who help reset my brain.

I think I’d be adding a little flavour to this post by pasting some of my gratitude entries here. Some are very personal so I willingly skipped out on them, while randomly picking others.

Lets take the above as an example. The day before had been a great day for gratitude, but that following afternoon, after waking up from my vigil rest, I was sore and averagely without gratitude entries. But like David (1Samuel 30:6), Debby encouraged herself in the lord. Sometimes, its sufficient to thank God for the good days that make you contrast the bad days as bad. Its sufficient to thank God for the joy of the previous day leading to the current day’s weariness. That’s what I did above.

February 11

Today’s an interesting holiday, yeah?
After spending some 6hours straight up working on my project and feeling afloat, I had a shower, drank Milo drink while I ate my jollof spaghetti and settled don’t to watch ‘Princess Switch’. Of course it was the best comedy for the occasion.
Such an holiday!

And today’s my mum’s birthday! And Naija’s presidential election. Sure grateful for these little benefits.

February 24

I’m grateful for the weather. It has finally drizzled here in IB. Oh the joy. Just the pleasure of working on my laptop on my bed near this window!

I’m also grateful for a new Sunday in IVCU.

February 28

What am I grateful for? The joy of blogging and reading blogs. I love my community.

One of my greatest joys in blogging is reaching people all over the world:
New Zealand, Thailand, Philippines, Madagascar, Belarus, Chile, UAE, Serbia, Vietnam, Italy, Nicaragua.
I imagine what rich lives they have in the ends of the earth yet reading this blog. Wawu!

March 12

I’m grateful that my exams are well spaced even though I consider them too well spaced for me to be serious.
I’m grateful for the serenity that is Imoran’s courtyard.
I am grateful that I do have a blog.
I’m also grateful and scared that it appears Qservers is working and I may move my site!

On the day above, I had spent my day studying so when it was time to enter in my journal, I didn’t have spectacular events to enter in. That’s what this journal does: it forces me to take stock and give thanks. I look around me and appreciate something. The courtyard of the library where I used to read was very beautiful so I noted that down.

My exams were well-spaced and afforded me luxury – couldn’t take that for granted. I discovered a new hosting platform for my blog too.

Random but good things.

March 14

I’m grateful that I have in abundance. I am grateful just for my clothes, for my wardrobe that is full of beautiful colours and designers. Thank you Jesus! Thank you for blessing me materially.

See this? How many times have you taken time out ‘mid-life’ to just thank God you have colourful clothes? Without them, you’d still be indebted to God, right? So what extra privilege you have to possess them. My gratitude journal helps me pick out things I daily see and just reflect on how I’m blessed to have them.

March 26

Praise the lord! Praise the lord! Praise praise praise praise praise the lorddddd! Halleluyah.
‘Eyin oluwa logo, Ogo’!

Why so happy you may ask. Simple answer – its the joy of the lord. I’ve been in worship mood o, Yoruba worship mood.
In remembering the little things, I thank God for his way of quickening my spirit to learn to obey when he speaks, my laptop did ‘erekere’ but God took control and I got my assignment out. Also my blog is working!

April 01

I am grateful for the opportunity to play the guitar not minding how tiring it was, ugh!! My fingers.

April 02

I thank God for time well spent with a darling friend, X.
I thank God for coldstone icecream
I’m grateful for a beautiful face.

April 10

I am grateful for my blog – the work it gives me and the love I have for it.
I am grateful for other christian bloggers who are sticking it out there.

April 05

Its like I totally stopped giving thanks. I’m grateful for the dinner rehearsal we had this evening. I’m grateful for the opportunity to pitch in to help.

Precious people, this entry above for example wouldn’t have been an item of gratitude but for the fact that I’ve learnt to examine my days for them. So rather than look at how some people neglected the express instruction given them and made things two times tougher, I looked at the good side of being granted an opportunity by God to pitch in. I could as well have had nothing to do with the task, but I did, and that’s worthy of gratitude.

April 16

I’m grateful for the beautiful light bulb in the dinning area. It delights me.

Yep. We thank God for light bulbs in this part of my world.

April 17

I thank God blood was not drawn from my arteries today

This is an interesting but embarrassing story so I will not share it.

But its worth thanking God for. Imagine if it had been the contrary. See? this thanksgiving journal helps insert humour at the end of my day, before sleep.

April 20

I am happy that I found Emmanuelpresents (Onimisi) blog.
I am grateful for a beautiful family and the joy of a quiet Saturday.

Thank God for discoveries. Thank him for the people around you.

April 21

Grateful for a place to call my church.
Grateful that Christ died for me and the world and we can celebrate him today.
Grateful that God is on the throne.

April 23

I’m grateful to the people who though, don’t like it so much, make out time and effort to work in teaching hospitals. Its way soo much work.

As a general rule, I dislike hospitals. I even always prayed that I wouldn’t marry a medical doctor (yep, big secret). My default attitude towards hospitals was to squeeze my face. But in reflecting on April 23, this year, I truly discovered that some of the people working there may really not like the smell either, they may not like being around sick and depressed people, but they’re doing it for good, nothing personal. Wow. (Now medical doctors are attractive. Such good heart! Okay, this is a joke). The point is that I got to make a new discovery, change my pattern of thinking and give thanks.

April 26

Grateful for the opportunity to buy what I need for law school.
Grateful for the opportunity to be a daughter to a powerful minister and be able to follow him on ministrations.

December 18, 2018

I am grateful for the ‘adimole’ I made today. It brings out my ‘Abike’ face.

Novmber 29, 2018

Ah. Today has been a precious day. I’ve smiled and frowned. I frowned at the realization that I’ve lost so much on my laptop with the spoilt hard disk.

I’ve smiled at the realization that God mercifully helped me save some work. It could’ve been worse. I’ve smiled at the realization that I’ve got God on my side. I am blessed.


I finally decided on writing this blog post the day I got a different type of compliment from a friend.

A strong love language for me is words of affirmation and I’m learning I have to give it to myself by myself too.

I have struggled in the past year and a half with varying thoughts about myself. Nothing too drastic but I didn’t always believe in myself or appreciate myself so much. I felt I was failing at some things and was quite average overall.

But with my gratitude journal, today, I do get to thank God for a long list of things that I believe about myself. Things that I actually do recognize substantially in myself, so I remind myself. And if for nothing else but this, this gratitude journal is fulfilling. (P.S: This is a proven way to battle Impostor syndrome which I wrote on here).

But then, there are more reasons why this gratitude journal has been good.

One of my pastimes is to scroll through previous entries and just laugh in contentment at funny entries, while my heart soars in gratitude to God for the people I meet and the things I see around.

You can also send a few people gratitude entries which pertains to them. E.g Grateful for a peaceful walk with XX. Grateful for my friendship with YY which brings a smile to my face. Thankful for the time of prayer which I had with GG after that insightful conversation. I smiled today because of the impact I get to have in OO’s life. Forward it to XX, YY, GG and OO.

This app has a backup feature so entries are saved to your google drive. It also has the provision for setting three reminders during the day for you to write. I hope you have fun using it, and you sharpen your gratitude culture. Have a blast reading some of my entries:

I really hope you get round to leveraging the benefits of daily gratitude. It makes your prayers richer.

Comments on any of my featured entries? Do you have other gratitude structures? Pray tell.

As always, your favourite girl,

Debby.

My Playing Small Does Not Serve The World || + NLS Dinner Pictures

I hope to share more stories about myself. I hope to make you read relatable entries about my weaknesses and strengths. While I wait for the presence of mind and resources to write on these as well as I’ll love to, I try to chip in bits and pieces.

Tonight, when I type this, is June 18, 2019. I had my first term dinner tonight at the Nigerian Law school, Bwari campus, Abuja this evening. I decided to fill in my gratitude journal (which I’ll share all about in another blog post). After doing so, I started to read some old entries. Then I stumbled across this saved write-up which I was grateful for some weeks back, and which I’m still grateful for today. I heard it first in the movie, Akeelah and the bee. I must’ve seen that movie for the first time at around age 13. Here’s the quote written by Marianne Williamson which I’ll love to share with you:

“OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE. OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE. IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US. WE ASK OURSELVES, WHO AM I TO BE BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS, TALENTED, FABULOUS? ACTUALLY, WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE? YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD. YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD. THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON’T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU. WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE, AS CHILDREN DO. WE WERE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST THE GLORY OF GOD THAT IS WITHIN US. IT’S NOT JUST IN SOME OF US; IT’S IN EVERYONE. AND AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME. AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR, OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.”

Its a most beautiful quote. Today, I’m grateful that I am liberated to shine, unhindered. Unbothered by popular opinion, I can stand up to my own beliefs and smile for the camera.


Today, I do not ask myself who am I to be brilliant, talented, gorgeous and fabulous. Actually, who am I not to be? I am brilliant, talented, gorgeous and fabulous. I’ll even add that I am an embodiment of uncommon class. And more importantly, I radiate the glory of God.

But this wasn’t always so. I once asked myself all these questions. Sometimes, I still act in ways that show that these questions are still under the surface. Not withstanding, its all getting better. I’m getting better.

In this spirit of joy, here are few pictures from my first term dinner at the Nigerian law school.

A recurring thought to me from this dinner is the issue of fitting in. I believe a part of refusing to play small is refusing to struggle to be seen or to make a point. In your extreme quietness, you’re making enough point. And in your extreme fireworks state, you’re making enough point. Do not tilt to any side to gain the approval of men. Rather, tilt upwards to better yourself.

And I leave you with another quote, however by an unknown writer:

I AM A PERSON. I AM NOT A MACHINE, SPREADSHEET, AGENDA OR RÉSUMÉ. I HAVE A HEARTBEAT, SKIN, SCARS AND A SOUL. MY WORTH ISN’T CALCULATED IN EFFICIENCIES, RESULTS OR LADDERS CLIMBED. I AM NOT THE SUM OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS — OR THE SUM OF MY MISTAKES. I AM NOT MY AMBITION, ENERGY LEVEL, APPROVAL RATING, MASS APPEAL OR WORTH TO THE COMPANY STORE. I AM NOT AN A-PLUS OR D-MINUS. I AM NOT A MESS OR A MISCALCULATION. I AM NOT A MISTAKE. RATHER, I AM A MIRACLE. AND SO ARE YOU. BECAUSE I AM A PERSON, MADE OF LOVE IN THE HANDS OF GOD. I WILL BE A PERSON TODAY. I WILL BE ME. I WILL RESIST THE URGE TO BELIEVE I’VE GOT TO FIGHT FOR MY PIECE; GOD SAYS THERE’S MORE THAN ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. I WILL SEE THE BEST IN OTHERS AND RECOGNIZE THE BEST IN MYSELF. I WILL REACH FOR VIRTUE MORE THAN TROPHIES, DIGNITY MORE THAN STARDOM. I WILL CHOOSE ENCOURAGEMENT OVER ENVY. I WILL REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE. I WILL STAND TALL ON THE INSIDE, EVEN IF I’M FEELING WEAK ON THE OUTSIDE. I AM A PERSON, A CITIZEN OF THE KINGDOM, WHERE THERE IS UNENDING GRACE FOR ME. BECAUSE I AM A PERSON, AND I BELONG TO JESUS

I hope as I let my light shine continually on this blog, I’m freeing you up to do the same. I hope I give you permission to live your truth today and always.

THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON’T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU. WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE, AS CHILDREN DO. WE WERE BORN TO MAKE MANIFEST THE GLORY OF GOD THAT IS WITHIN US…

AND AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME

If you need to be liberated from any of these questions too, go on ahead and while you’re in the process, celebrate yourself.

Shining as always, Debby.

Dear Mentee || What you should know about the word think-tank

…and other English words.


So I have this leading to start a segment where I write what’s desperately on my heart. Obviously, that’s what the entire blog is for, but this is different. On the blog, I’m addressing myself, addressing my future children and grandchildren, addressing you and your uncles and neighbours. This segment though is addressing my mentees or proteges, if you’ll like. The things that I desperately want to pass on to the younger ones (not only age wise) that’s what I’ll write here. They are some of the life tips I’ll tell my younger ones who come to sit beside me at night and say “advise me. Tutor me”. Its a broad range of advice too.


This post has nothing major to do with the word think-tank, but it has everything to do with my attitude to the word.
I was reading someone’s profile on LinkedIn just now and I saw a reference made to a think-tank that she set up. I would’ve skipped over it since I had the basic understanding that it meant an initiative – an intellectual initiative. But I didn’t skip over it. I barely ever do. Words that I manage to question a bit in my head, I head over to my phone’s dictionary and do a crosscheck. I strongly believe this is a proper attitude to learning.

Make a habit of this and you’ll become so familiar with the words you already know including their context. What’s more? You’ll also become perceptive of the meaning of mere expressions of words you’ve never even heard of.
You’re welcome.

By the way, Think-Tank:

“(idiomatic) A group of people who collectively perform research and develop reports and recommendations on topics relating to strategic planning or public policy, and which is usually funded by corporate, government, or special interests.”

Notice how I largely fell short of the meaning earlier and the disadvantage of brushing over it.
Okay, Mentee, that’ll be it for today.

P.s: If you have recommendations of some great dictionaries for android, please let me know.

Till next time,
Debby.

Dear Mentee || The HolyGhost and Sleep

So I have this leading to start a segment where I write what’s desperately on my heart. Obviously, that’s what the entire blog is for, but this is different. On the blog, I’m addressing myself, addressing my future children and grandchildren, addressing you and your uncles and neighbours. This segment though is addressing my mentees. The things that I desperately want to pass on to the younger ones (not only age wise) that’s what I will write here. They are the things I’ll tell my younger ones who come to sit beside me at night and say “advise me. Tutor me”.

Today, what’s on my heart is “your sensitivity to the Holyghost”.

I have been in meetings where the Holyspirit woke me from sleep to attend them. I have been in meetings I left for in the rain because my spirit was restless. None of those meetings have been in vain. I have been sleeping in vigils – on two distinct occasions, when the Holyspirit woke me up and said ‘Its time’. It always was time*.

I would’ve missed some blessings, had the Holyspirit not tugged at my heart till I gave.

Friend, you need this thing. Its called divine ordering of steps. The Holyspirit does it!! He did it for Philip and it is forever recorded for Philip that he led that Ethiopian Eunuch to Christ and many others through that means. Its seen in the entirety of Jesus’ life – He lived in sync with what he received from heaven. Don’t be blind to the spirit’s move per time.

If in your spirit, you never have the prompts, develop your sensitivity to the holyghost. Start first by having a relationship with him. These steps may help:

  • Tell him you want to be best friends
  • Study your bible and pray in the spirit
  • Read books (like those on Kathryn Kuhlman) and listen to ministers like Benny Hinn. These people because they have had wonderful relationships with him and teach us how to.

He is a person and he wants to be more real to you, than your friend is. More real to you than I am too.

That’s it for today. Do not miss out when others are getting help through this very means – let the spirit order your steps.

Till next time, mentee.

I remain Debby.

  • Because you’re my mentee, I’ll tell you bluntly : If you so like, go around sleeping at vigils, waiting for the Holyspirit to tell you its time, you go sabi.

TED talks, TEDx Talks; My Experience

I’ve learnt A LOT from TED talks over time. The acronym TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. TED is a media organization that posts talks online for free distribution. The media conferences began in 1984 and 2006, they started posting online for the world to view. These talks are designed to spread ideas which are worth knowing. The talks are given in 18 minutes or less. They must also be free from political and religious beliefs.
Over time it expanded from technology, design and entertainment into talks in all disciplines without border.
Frankly, it helps broaden your perspective, shows you what’s possible and propels you to think, which ultimately enlightens your worldview.

In 2009, TEDx started. X = independently organized TED talks. This way, these talks can be organized locally in every community(subject to TED’S licence) to spread ideas by speakers who are knowledgeable in that industry.
I’m a new member of the Tedx team in UI. TedxUI is pretty new, it started two years ago . I initially thought this post was mostly going to be about our event that held last week Saturday but I’ve found out I barely have anything to really write about that. Will I tell you of how it was a little physically exhausting for the team members, or do I tell you of our initial wardrobe T-Shirt malfunction for the event, or I simply tell you how a speaker I looked forward to hearing wasn’t around, or do I tell you that Simi the popular singer was around, or do I tell you how the breakdown of our itinerary for the day went?

I wouldn’t dare to tell you of each speaker’s talk because that would be such a tasking job now, wouldn’t it? I tried it for this blog post actually, but it didn’t work. However, we intend to have these talks on Youtube soon and you’ll be able to watch them and learn from them.


My best speaker during this event was Ogunbowale Olugbenga. In my books and in that of a friend, this speaker got the concept of a TED talk down to the tee, unlike some others. He brought an idea on how banter can save our lives. He shared the idea using his personal story on discovering he had scoliosis. It was enlightening in all regard.
You want more clarity on TED talks? check the official website. Better still, the best way to really know about it some more? Watch TED videos – they’re everywhere on youtube. And interestingly, there’s a specialized application for it too. Its similar to youtube but its purely TED talks.


Now I’d love to give you my all-time favourite Ted talks and Tedx talks but lol, I’ve forgotten which ones were my best, I simply gleaned ideas from them. However out of the deep love I have for you, I went scouting through over two hundred videos In my youtube history to handpick a few you may start with. My areas of interest may be vastly different from yours and so these may not be your best exposure to TED talks(but I hope they are).
Have a blast.
1. Listening to shame
Others(in no particular order)
10 ways to have a better conversation
My year of saying yes to everything
Change your life by overcoming your fears
Teach girls bravery not perfection
Why we have too few women leaders
How Africa can use its traditional knowledge to make progress
Don’t ask where I’m from, ask where I’m a local
We should all be feminists
If I should have a daughter
Being the real me without apology
How to make stress your friend
Love and light,

Debby.

Ways I keep the word of God bubbling in my heart

Hello fam! It’s Debby.
I felt slightly strange all week long when I didn’t put out another post on Wednesday. A week interval felt like a long time as I had gotten used to two posts a week. Mine! Glad I’m here now though. Students and Examsssssss!
Today, I’m interested in telling you all about how to keep God’s word in your heart. Does it really stay in the heart? And I’m not talking about being able to quote them. I’m talking of all-through-the-day meditation and application.
I’ll be going about it by telling you the things that work for me. They aren’t exclusive and I’ll like to know what other suggestions you have in the comment box.



1. Sincerity: I like to think I’m super sincere with God. I try to be. I tell him I’ve been finding bible-study difficult. I don’t pray because I’ve been told to, I pray because prayer is communing with him. You know how you’ll be glad to keep up communication with someone you’ll love to have as a mentor, someone who’s the buzz of your industry. If she/he spares you five minutes, you won’t use only two out of those five. You’ll even ask questions you already have answers to, just to keep them talking. God is so much greater than my inspiration or the next big thing. It’s a privilege to keep up the communication line with this brilliant artist, scientist, advocate, technician, teacher and more all in one. Whoa God.
So really it’s a privilege and you should try it. Prayer isn’t boring (once you get past the first few minutes, sometimes). Talk to him about your disinterest in reading the bible. You don’t have to start the conventional way, nor use verbose language, No. Communicate with Jesus.
He’s ready to help ‘‘God, I don’t feel like reading my bible o. I just feel like browsing. Smh for me right? Let’s try audio bible or what do you say…?’’. From my experience, before you’re through with your dialogue (don’t have your heart set on a monologue), you’ll have answers through a scripture that flashes by your heart or through sudden strength to read the bible. Be sincere. God is more interested in speaking to you through his word than you are even interested.
2. Listen to audio bible: This! I learnt it from both my parents especially my mum.
My first beautiful trial of this was through my campus fellowship. I was in 200level or maybe 100. The bible study team gave us the audio bible – “The bible experience” to foster our reading through the New Testament in a short time frame. I enjoyed it! Listening and reading the same translation simultaneously is epic. It always transported me. Subsequently, I’ve used it a lot. You also need this and not some ‘boring’ audio bible narration. I’ve listened to some that are slightly unbelievable in how dull the narrators are. “The bible experience’’ gives you different voices for each character and another for the narrator, all the background sounds are also mirrored e.g If it says Jesus went to the market place, you’ll hear market chatter. I recommend it.

3. Messages: I can’t say this enough I guess. Messages are wonderful because the preachers tell you from the sincerity of their hearts what they’ve understood over many years. You’re able to stand on their shoulders.
Truth is, you get the most of a message by repetitive listening and not just one time.
And as good as messages are, if you listen to many messages without studying your bible yourself, you may start to get confused. Why use the secondary source when you have the primary? What messages are to do is aid your comprehension of God’s word, help apply what you know in theory to everyday life, also give you theological perspectives etc.
4. Sticky notes: If you’re cool with using sticky notes, please do it. Paste them by your worktable. As long as you sit there, you see the memory verse smiling down on you. When I don’t want sticky notes to litter the whole place(which I never want), I write them in little papers like the one below and rotate them often. One stays on top for some days.

Put it as your phone’s wall paper like mine currently is:

just stick it around you. That’s why God’s instruction to the Israelites was:

“never forget these instructions that I am giving you today. Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working. Tie them on your arms and wear them on your foreheads as a reminder. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates.’’ Deut 6:6-9

5. Make it your hobby: what do I mean by this? Don’t waste a moment. Since I got in the university I don’t suppose I’ve wasted the time used in re-organizing my wardrobe – I tend to do this quite frequently because, there’s no space 😊.
Every single time, I click on ‘play all’ for whichever book I choose, often the gospels and I begin to hear Jesus instruct his disciples. I follow him through the synagogue and down to his meeting the centurion. Its an experience really. I recommend this. Never let a moment for rearranging your wardrobe or folding your clothes go to waste – seeing you’ve read this blog post. Again I warn, never fold clothes for nothing.
Listen to a message when you’re cooking. I was telling two friends yesterday that I’m afraid those on the same floor with me would soon dub me ‘the message girl’. Every time I’m washing plates, I listen. Every time I’m cooking, I listen. That way, one point sticks and I get to meditate on it all night long. My mind has no free moment since I give it no choice. It picks up the things I’ve listened to and ponders. Try it; give your mind a new task!
That’s it! Basic but timeless. I remind myself of these things too when I start to slack off.
What do you use? Help us grow!

Love and Peace,
Debby.

Therapists; To have or not to have? (2)

Hello precious people. I hope you’re doing fine.
If you haven’t read the preceding part of this post, its here, and it’s crucial to reading this one.
I love the idea of a therapy session. Yep.
But perhaps what I’m really saying is: I love the idea of being listened to. Listened to in a clean space, listened to without expectations or assumptions, and without any need on my part to be comported.
Perhaps what I’m really saying is I like the idea of listening to a quiet voice making me think and reconsider my ways. Why did you throw that birthday party last week? Think.
The alternative title for this post would’ve been ”The therapist within”.
Ravi Zacharias is an Amarican-Canadian-Indian Christian apologist. He has this podcast on his websitelet my people think”. Like I wrote in this blog post on logic and religion, God is not averse to your thinking. He isn’t intimidated by it. Can you then rule Him out of being the brilliant therapist telling you “think” ?
The book of John 14: 26 says I will send you the comforter(the holyspirit).
I think this is so much more cooler, having the therapist within. I don’t need one hour in a week to be asked questions or to ramble. I can; all day, all the time. My call.
I found that the list of things in the previous blog post that make me find therapy desirable are boxes that can be ticked by the Holyspirit.
Comfy office? Yes. What’s the state of my heart?
Me time: you don’t say. He’s absolutely selfless, he lets me run the show talking to him all the time, He’s never bored or irritated by my opinion, even when they’re immature.
Silence? Haha. He’s the king of it. In quietness and assurance shall my people be. I’m so so serious, the Holyspirit in me appreciates quietness. Times of reflection.
Deep: don’t get me started. He throws me punch lines many times. Heart-piercing ones. He just knows my buttons and keeps me gobsmacked by his sheer brilliance through a simple statement.
After-feeling: joy. Pure joy. For me, I’m often singing after. It’s like I start to remember songs I learnt in my childhood because I’m so relieved by our therapy sessions. He helps me close old-chapters in my life and I report people to him too.
Stranger: No. But wanting a stranger is really all about the perks that come with it, and I find them in him too. He won’t get biased.
My people, he helps with burn-outs too and severe bouts of depression and other mental illnesses. He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I’m so proud to say I have the inner therapist. You should try him out. I’m actually happy.
The holyspirit is real. He’s not wind, water, oil or fire. He’s not an influence. He is a person, my personal person. He’s my lover. He puts a smile on my face. Sometimes I instigate lovers quarrel but he’s always right at my door with a bouquet of roses singing our song.
He hears me out and makes me better.
Does he charge per hour? What’s the billing rate?
We’re talking acceptance of Jesus here John 1:12. Upon salvation, every Christian receives him.

Ephesians 1: 13 GOD’S WORD Translation (GWT)
You heard and believed the message of truth, the Good News that he has saved you. In him you were sealed with the Holy Spirit whom he promised

After which, you yield to him more and more. Spend time with him for a robust relationship and you’ll see him do all that and more.
He’s the therapist who lives within. Any time, any day.
THERAPISTS; to have or not to have? This one is a must-have.
Side note: The Holyspirit residing in you doesn’t rule out the need for counselling sessions or therapy, as the circumstances of the case may warrant. Some churches provide counselling sessions. Read this post for brilliant consideration of the fact that they aren’t mutually exclusive of each other.

As always, I like to know your thoughts. Therapy or nah?
Much love,
Debby.

THERAPISTS; to have or not to have (1)

My passive preoccupation for some time has been on the subject of therapists.
Therapy. Therapist.
I planned that after turning it over in my mind a few more times, I’ll put up a post.
Tonight, I’m envisioning the million things I need to do tomorrow and in all that, I remember my thoughts on therapy.
Some people perhaps at the sight of the word ”therapist”, without thinking, they say ‘God forbid’. That’s cool. God forbid.
It’s just that therapy is broader than the narrow stream you’ve perceived it to be while watching T.V.

A therapist’s goal is to help patients make decisions and clarify their feelings in order to solve problems. Therapists provide support and guidance, while helping patients make effective decisions within the overall structure of support.
Source: all psychology schools

What I fancy about therapy appointments, even though I’ve never been to any one are:

  • The comfy offices. They probably have tips for interior designs peculiar to their profession. You do know that your dwelling place affects your mental health, right? It does. I may one day do a post on that, it does.
  • The fact that you can have me-time. You can just talk and talk and you’ll be listened to and listened to. Intriguing right? You’re not careful to not dominate the conversation, rather it’s all yours to dominate. You’re sure the therapist isn’t thinking let this girl finish her statement so I can share my own woes too.
  • The fact that silence is allowed. I don’t understand this restless urge by people to constantly fill silence. Silence isn’t always a void. It doesn’t have to be filled. A little quiet please.
  • The fact that you’re prodded by the littlest of statements. A soft-spoken question can give you time to pull up the fibres of your mind. This is opposed to the rushed living and suppressed emotions most people daily engage in. Here, careful, minimal, conscious living is at work.
  • You leave feeling better because you’re able to close old chapters in your life. You’re able to analyze your relationship with everyone that matters to you. To voice out, for perhaps the first time, all the positive and negative things you think about a person’s character and you don’t have to be careful doing it. (you get what I mean or you don’t? that you love a person doesn’t mean it’s everything about them that sparkles to you. You are permitted to have candid and accurate opinions on your friends and family).
  • You have someone who Is not entangled with your everyday life and living ( a stranger), get into your mind. No expectations from them. No judgements. No need to compose yourself. Compose, bawo?

I’m smiling just thinking of what I’ve written.
Or you’re still waiting for the punch line? Sighs, this is it really. Up there. Put in two words: Reflection time.
Not all therapists can provide you with what I just listed. No. no.
But I think its worth considering. I think therapy just advocates for simple and wholesome living. Yes, you’re a successful and busy investment banker but in your one hour a week, you get to just slow down, keep quiet and wonder why you really threw yourself a birthday party last week. Think on your motivations.
Perhaps since the start of this post, you’ve been thinking that Debby is just talking sha. She doesn’t know those who see therapists see them for serious reasons like mental illnesses and that they pay a lot. You probably whispered the mental illnesses part.
I don’t think mental illness should be whispered. It’s a thing. In Africa, we now recognize it and are starting to care for it, good. But you must understand that a number of people who get depressed, for example, are those who have suffered from burn-outs repeatedly.
Burn-out? Sounds familiar? It means to tire, due to overwork; or to extinguish due to lack of fuel. Occasionally most of us get burned out then pick up again. I think some don’t pick-up and due to tangled emotions and heavy workload, they may eventually get depressed. In light of that, do you now see why the little things matter and are worth discussing? Perhaps in therapy?
You are important so little things that affect you count in the grand scheme of things.
You still don’t think so? okay, share your thoughts.
Like I said, I’ve never been to a therapist, this is my imagination canvassing for it. But perhaps I’m also saying something more and for lack of space, this would be continued in the concluding part of this therapy discussion coming up on Wednesday. I hope you’ll be around to read it.

Love,
Debby.

The danger of the single story perspective of your life

The single story.
It was the holiday season. The sun had set and evening calm descended upon the neighbourhood. The campus boys in the compound behind weren’t playing obnoxiously loud music. There hadn’t been any football matches during the day either; football matches that often sent their ball flying into our compound which, depending on the mood of our dogs, were licked, deflated or ignored.
My mum and elder sister were the only ones in the house with me. We were at the dinning table, probably one of those days when mum had just gotten back and we were gisting while she ate her dinner. It was a slow evening so I hadn’t told Emil to switch on the generator yet.
The soft glow from the solar-powered lamp illuminated the white walls.
The subject of our conversation must’ve flowed around perspectives for I ran upstairs to fetch my mini-laptop.
I remember setting it down on the table and clicking on Chimamanda’s Ted talk – “The danger of the single story.” – for both of them to watch.
I remember the pride that soared in my heart as Chimamanda’s steady and knowing voice filled the silence in the house.
Chimamanda’s talk on the single story is acclaimed one of the most-widely watched ted talks on youtube with 3.7 million views.
What was she saying in that talk?
How do I summarise that brilliance into a few lines here? I’d rather quote excerpts and urge you to watch the video here:

“I come from a conventional middle-class Nigerian family, and so we had, as was the norm, live-in domestic help who would often come from nearby rural villages. So the year I turned eight, we got a new houseboy. His name was Fide. The only thing my mother told us about him was that his family was very poor. And when I didn’t finish my dinner, my mother would say, finish your food, don’t you know people like Fide’s family have nothing? So I felt enormous pity for Fide’s family.
But one Saturday, we went to his village to visit, and his mother showed us a beautifully patterned basket, made of dyed raffia, that his brother had made. I was startled. All I had heard about them was how poor they were, so that it had become impossible for me to see them as anything else but poor. Their poverty was my single story of them.”

She also tells of her previous single story opinion of Mexicans.
Also, her roommates disposition to her when she was 19 and new in the U.S.

If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, then I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals and incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves, and waiting to be saved by a kind, white foreigner. I would see Africans in the same way that I as a child had seen Fide’s family

…all of these stories make me who I am but to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and overlook the many other stories that form me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Why am I bringing this up?
It’s easy for anyone on my campus fellowship who knows me as a spirit-filled sister to think all that there is to me is something fellowship-related once I’m through with classes. It’s easy for them to think I have no opinion on politics or assume I don’t read novels. assumptions.
It’s easy for someone to view the president of my fellowship as spiritkoko and not know that he likes football, a whole lot at that, or that the P.R.O of the fellowship has a sister who models in the U.S. I’m just painting a picture. We have lives, full lives. Those lives are often viewed through the lenses of sister and brother sososo, that’s okay once your lenses admit that generally, everyone is an human being and Jesus is happy about that.
Not the single story of ”I only see X in fellowship, and X is a student, therefore brother X is made up of classes and fellowship time”.
Single story. The danger of this single story is that brother X starts to live an insecure and people-conscious life.

“…The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Essentially, you must know everyone is a person and persons are subject to idiosyncrasies and a full world of ideas and passions. That your prayer secretary may be nursing the ambition to be the next governor of Oyo state(and it might not make him any less spiritual than if he’d been hoping to be the next missionary). Everyone is a person and Jesus loves them like that, Jesus planted a huge number of those passions in their hearts and Jesus is happy to see them bloom. Jesus doesn’t think they should only pray in fellowship. Jesus supports your vice-president going to the gym.
I believe when you accept it about yourself, you’re able to accept it about others too. Then you’ll stop feeling quite ashamed when someone you’ve mentored spiritually discovers you do something other than study and pray. I was self-conscious for a while until God helped me out of it.
Or worse still, you’ll stop feeling ashamed when someone knows a member of your family isn’t born again. I mean, what? Shame?
Dear friend, live, breathe, bloom, blossom. You’re more than one perspective. The single story is just that, – single.
Tell your own story. Be your own person. Own your story.

so that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing over and over again, and that is what they become”.

What do you think? Care to share?

Freedom and light,
Debby