Posts by Deborah Osinowo

The One Who Owes The World

Life Diary Non-Fiction 8 Comments

I rushed back into the school premises at a fast pace.
The blinding sun reminded me of my resolve to get a new pair of Sun shades. It was past 10am and my class must’ve begun, having been scheduled for 10am. I rushed towards the bus route going to faculty of law, at the car park.
I saw you, tall and fairly dark. Your eye glasses well perched on your nose. You had you shirt tucked into your trousers with a brown belt holding it in place. The Brown belt still looked good; not worn tired. I looked up at your face again. “Science, social sciences, law” you said expectantly.
Well, then.
“Sister, are you going?” You adressed me. I nodded and said “law“, whilst looking at the motorbike lane. About four people were waiting in line for bikes. I contemplated going for a bike instead because I was in a hurry. I took a closer look at the bus.
“Ah” I stared you down. “You just want to start loading? No o. No”
“No, enter. I would be leaving now, enter. Enter”
Obviously not, I thought. I’d be the first to sit in this bus. I turned to look at the bike lane again.
“Look,” you said, “your mates are coming. Enter ” I looked back to see a few people who did not even glance once at you as they brushed past, heading for the bike lane. My resolve withered. I needed to be in class.
Two things kept me rooted beside your white bus.
First, I’m trying hard to stop riding on bikes for safety purposes. I began to ride on them only when I became a student in UI and I was sometimes left with no choice.
Secondly, your dressing. In that sun, you looked like a teacher. Tall enough to have that appearance, shirt tucked in, black shoes on, eye glasses with rope!
This shirt tucked in trouser is a serious topic, so let’s branch in.
I’ve been in UI for some years. I’ve even come to recognize a few cab drivers facially. A number of them come out and sit either at their secretariat by the park or under the tree near the drop loading point. The drop loading point is by the route loading to my hostel. Just yesterday, there was yet another argument between these men. They’re loud but I love that they always enjoy themselves to the fullest. The unspoken dress code convention is native attire or a faded shirt worn loosely on some slightly dirty trouser.
That is why, sir, I looked you over. My dad would’ve liked you.
The sun seemed to plead your cause too, as you stood there; A perfect example of a fervent business man. Your fervent plea to people to enter the bus and your argument that you will leave soon, allowed me to sit. I’d been in buses that left with some empty seats before. I sat in the front seat and watched you. Your eyes were focused. You beckoned at each person passing by, “science, social science, law” “brother are you going? Sister enter, enter here” you paced. You moved from the right side of the bus to the left. I had two companions in the bus by then.
We waited because your perseverance blackmailed us.
I could’ve taken a cab drop, but I felt I’ll be unjust to you. How else could you make your morning rates if all of us chose to leave, unable to wait. 
We were conscious of the time and of our classes. For you, man must work.
You kept apologizing to us. I offered to pay two extra people’s bus fair, if you’d allow us leave.
You paced, you called. I waited.
I was sure my lecturer would let me in and that I didn’t have much to loose in this particular class.
At some point, I rolled my eyes, I should’ve just left since. What sort of pity ties you down when your ambition is on the line(maybe not that dramatic).
I then forgot my slight irritation well enough to start praying for you. For me too. Lord pls let this bus fill up quickly. Lord, help me o, I shouldn’t regard any class this way.
Where are the people? I craned my neck, I looked back, believing with you that passengers would come.
By the time we took off, with a full bus, I settled in to my amusement.
Sir, your dressing paved a way for you.
.
.
.
Two weeks later, I was watching a video on YouTube and I enjoyed it a bit. My hand hovered over the like button in a dilema for way too long. I wanted to click the like button only because I realized the video had been seen very many times while liked few times. 
I thought ‘let me support this video‘. Then I chided myself. Which kind of support is that? The videos I like keep entering a new folder. I don’t have to like this video. It’s made its impact. It will continue to make its impact if it doesn’t get deleted.
There is nothing wrong with liking a good youtube video but liking out of pity? No. 
I don’t have to live my life like I owe everyone and neither do you.
I know this is a pretty surprising post but it does matter. Stop haranguing yourself over the things that don’t really count.
You love the impeccable conductor? Pray for him in your mind, leave and enter your drop to class. The video doesn’t have many likes but you dont love it enough either? Be grateful you’ve seen it and click on another. This ‘I must like every video out of pity’ thing is uncalled for.
When it comes to seemingly little social matters like these, I love to share because I respect peace of mind. If I am at peace with myself(my right choices) and the same applies to you too, well it’s a peaceful world, innit? 
In 2018, don’t harangue yourself into unnecessary things you can’t help at the expense of your class or something important.
?To peace of mind, priorities and knowledge in 2018.

Care to share your thoughts? Diverging view?
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HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE.

Touching Lives at Christmas 

The Christian Faith

Hiiiii people.
This post should’ve come up long ago as the registration date for this year’s TLC edition is closed and participation, now impossible. This will however help for subsequent years.

There is a different way to spend your Christmas as a Christian. I assume you’ve been going to church for a long while now, which is really good. Now, how about bringing someone else to church? Not your literal church per se, but to the body of Christ. What better time to do this than on the very anniversary we celebrate? It simplifies a lot of things for you, really. You’ve been having questions about missionaries and their work, you’ve been admiring their dedication and selflessness and probably believed you will never get to do more than pray and give. Here is your chance to evangelize, even for a day.
It’s touching lives at Christmas. It’s been holding for sixteen (16) years under a reputable missionary organization with the headquarters in Ilorin, Kwara state: The Kindgom Project TKP.
This is the concept:

  • You register. Either by filling a form brought to your church or given to you, or by filling it on the website or calling TKP headquarters on +2348088085757 and stating your city.
  • You are available for orientation for 2hrs at the most, on any day of your choice which runs for three, four or five days before Christmas (depending on your center).
  • You get to the converging point in your town or city on that day(Christmas day) as early as 7am.
  •  You’re transported to the villages that have been mapped out and surveyed around your city. In some centers there is hospital visitation, prison visitation and sometimes a visit to a leporasium.
    It’s a way of sharing the good news of Christ with those who haven’t heard it sufficiently well enough to make an informed decision.
    Believers from all walk of life participate and you can be one.
  • There is house to house evangelism after which there is a picnic called brethren’s forum in one of the chosen villages. Medical and welfare services are rendered to the villagers. There is practical study during the brethren’s forum and food is given. 
  • Before dusk falls, everyone is on their way back home.

2016 edition held in 13 countries, 108 centers and there was a total of 6,135 participants.
You can plan towards that of next year and pray for that of this year. It’s a fulfilling way to spend December 25th yearly.
There is also an avenue to give your support financially or release your vehicle to go the field.
Best to check on the website. Www.tkpmission.org.
I pray you have a fulfilling Christmas period this year. One beyond getting a new hairstyle done or new clothes and a good feast at the table. I pray you get to reflect on the meaning of Christmas, experience the joy of it and share it with others.
Merry Christmas and a happy New year in advance.
As always, Debby.
I always love to hear your thoughts. Do comment. And please do not forget to share it with someone.

life and living

Life Diary

Making more time to study God’s word. You won’t believe how there is so much to discover in the bible. You can never exhaust it.
Eating nothing special of late. I’ve been eating the basics and eating it well but then, nothing special. That’s probably because I’ve been putting some financial plans in place and I’ve also been busy. I should try splurging on food soon though. Celebratory food.
Reading Trevor Noah’s ‘born a crime’, Kenneth Hagin’s ‘Classic Sermons‘, Larry King’s ‘how to speak to anyone, anytime, anywhere’.
Wanting more time to read. And more money to buy books. The sort of books I’m newly interested in, are pretty expensive. First up, time to read.
Wasting no time. I’m learning to utilize my time. Shiloh2017 messages are keeping me on my toes so I have no choice. Bishop Oyedepo is such an inspiration. I’m learning to utilize my time doing useful things.
Creating memories. This was hard to decide tbh. Why though? I’m meant to be a creative.Lol. I’ve been drawing and doing artistic things since I was a child. What’s happened to me? Even to write, no desire. Guys, the effort is real.
Wanting a stable academic calendar. I’m tired. Tired. Tired of incessant disruptions in the academic calendar. Were there to be a stable calendar, I should be in 500level now. I’m still in 2nd semester 400level and I have so much ahead of me in terms of my academic pursuit. It is well.
Enjoying time spent with friends. I have this friend I’m especially celebrating. Her name is Samuel Seun. We all have that one friend who is only on whatsapp, no other social media. She belongs in that group. I thus have no links to provide. Pictures though.
Marvelling at human nature. I’ll love to someday write a book on human beings; their simplicity and complexties. Of course, there’d be a good topic . I simply want you to have an idea of what intrigues me sometimes. Our make up as humans.
Wearing a smile.
Following Shiloh 2017 live streams. You can check out the videos on YouTube. Simply type “Shiloh 2017” in the search box. You’re welcome.
Noticing people’s swiftness to complimenting me of late. Lol. What’s happening exactly? I’ve always been this tall, this beautiful. Then, I’ll get to a room and someone will say “oh, you’re so tall. Are you taller than XXX?“. I’d go to church and someone would say “wow you look taller. What’s your height? 6″ what?”. We’ll be told in a church meeting to turn to our neighbour and say “so so so” then in between “so so so“, I’d hear “you’re so beautiful“. Lol.
Loving my family. I don’t even know how to put this into the right words . All I can say is I’m loving my family.
Hoping this new phase of my life is incredible. This Sunday, I’m handing over to my successor in my campus fellowship. We all know being commissioned to serve as a leader is a new phase in a person’s life. Handing over is also a new phase and I hope to explore every part of it dutifully. I’ll be fulfilling my non-executive mandate.
That’s it. How are you doing? Care to share?

26a–BOOK REVIEW

Book Reviews 5 Comments

Long time no book review, eh?
I have this condition where my eyes feel so heavy, even when I’ve done nothing but sleep conveniently. I’ve Google searched (why not? this is 2017) and I’ve started praying.
Right now I could just close my eyes and refuse to write this post but then I’d be hard pressed to repeat a post on blogging and consistency.
26a. Can I start by saying I had reservations about reviewing this book. I know that a book review doesn’t mean total endorsement. I also know that appreciation of a book doesn’t mean acceptance of the author’s worldview and all of the book’s message.
However, not all readers know that. Hence my express disclaimer: I do not agree with some of the messages of this book but it piques my interest well enough and I’m willing to review it as a piece of art.
Title: 26a.
Author:Diana Evans.
Publisher/publication date: Vintage books/ 2006
ISBN:978-0-099-47904-8
I love the title. Simple. Enthralling. I first knew of this book when there was a book fair in my school in 2015. I’d gone to Trenchard hall where the book fair held, with my friend. At a certain stall, I picked this book up, glanced at it and snapped it. I didn’t have enough money to purchase it. I simply judged the book by its cover and was impressed (books still get judged by their cover. Forget that English idiom).
Twice, I started reading this book and twice, I dropped it. It was incomprehensible. A world of twin jargon involving Gladstone, hamster, beanbag.
In other words, the book demands your attention. You don’t go in casually. You ask, seek, knock.
The Hunters live in no 26a, Waifer avenue, Neasden. The mother is a Nigerian who constantly battles homesickness and puts cayenne pepper on her Yorkshire pudding. When depressed, she goes into the bathroom for hours, having mental conversation with her mother in an Edo village in Nigeria.
The father, Aubrey, works hard to satisfy the family and on certain nights, he changes character.
The children are older sister Bel, the twins; Georgia and Bessi, and baby sister Kemy who desperately longs to belong to the twins’ inner circle.
It’s a coming of age tale of the twins. 
The book deals with togetherness and separation. Togetherness of a family unit and separation of it. Togetherness of twins and separation.

“and this: Oneness in twoness in oneness- for ever. But how?”

This book touches on identity, culture and roots. Aubrey’s stay in Nigeria is horrible for him and Ida’s stay in England, horrible for her. It questions how far a person’s tradition goes with them. 

 “Ida had retreated back into her dressing gown as the Sekon Sun had faded. For her, home was not homeless; it was one place, one tree, one heat. She made herself a bubble and It was called Nigeria-without-Aubrey. Her children were allowed inside, Bel on her right, Kemy always on her lap where the lastborn never left, and the twins a little way off, in a bubble of their own. At dinner, Ida sometimes said “pass the salt” in Edo and Aubrey would stab something on his plate; or in the early mornings, she said, ‘at home now, they’re singing.’ She held Edo lessons in Bel’s room on Saturdays, because language was loyalty and Ida was not pleased when Aubrey told her to stop. ‘We’re in England now,’ he said ‘the girls don’t need Nigerian here. They’ll forget It soon enough’…”

It also touches on sexual assault and its reverberating effect; On peer pressure and the loss of innocence; On depression and its every fibre, even the thought of purchasing milk.
One thing that makes this book quite difficult at its end, is that it deals with loss. And no study on loss is ever easy. Loss, is never easy.
It’s reflective of the separation that comes to ties that were meant to bind forever.
Inspite of its solemn theme, lots of pages in the book are exhilarating. I was taken on a ride to Neasden. I understand “it’s good, eve”, “the Apple tree”, “Bessi’s best bed”, “mr hyde”.
I certainly won’t be able to share the good excerpts without revealing too much. We’ll make do with this:

“It was foreign to them, living like this, coming across each other in the playground the way others did, as if they were the same as them, the twinless ones. It felt to them like being halved and doubled at the same time.” 
“Neasden was easier. A little hilly place next to a river and a motorway with nodding trees and one stubby rows of shops. One bank, one library, one optician, one chemist, one chip-chop, one Chinese takeaway, pub, hairdresser, off-licence, cash ‘n’ carry, green grocer and two newsagents, a full stop at each end of Neasden lane”
“It could be the sound of the youngest screaming . Or it could be the sight of the oldest hurt, that makes a woman lose completely the order of things, the sense of past and future and what if, what would happen if.”

It’s a good piece of literature. Diana Evans has a sharp eye that I commend. All the details about Nigeria are credible.

“Very enjoyable, Evans writes with tremendous verve and dash. Her ear for dialogue is superb, and she has wit and sharp perception…a constantly readable book filled with likeable characters; a study of loss that has great heart and humour”
-Independent

I’ll love to have some discussion with someone who has read this book. I judge this to be art because it provokes something that was previously resting.
What are your thoughts? Are you interested in reading this? Have you read this? What can you judge from this review?

Consistency & Internet travel

Internet Roundups Life Diary

Hey people.
I’m learning consistency. I think we get it right four times consecutively, then we fail once. We start over again, until the consistency is mastered. A blog post was due last Saturday morning (as that is my new blogging schedule) but I failed to put it up. Life issues?.
What does consistency mean to you?
This consistency issue is very paramount in anything you will do right in life. Just today I read an interview in Punch newspaper. I can’t imagine I’m just hearing of the man inspite of such feat. Apparently, he is a Nigerian professor who lectures at university of Oxford. He recently gave an award to the worst graduating student in University of Ilorin. His children, while in primary school, all passed GCSE exams(for students around age 17 and above), one was even age 6 at the time. One of his daughters, while in primary school, built her school’s website; same website which has won many awards. Enough curiosity to pique your interest? Read here. He made mention of consistent work too.
Just on my study table in my room, I have this writing pinned down by my flower vase.

Successful people do by commitment what others do by excitement

Moving on to the task of the day, I’ve decided to share a bit of what I’ve been loving recently with you.
Do you know Uju Okorie? I discovered aunty Uju on Facebook o. I’ve been loving her since I first glanced at her Facebook page. Best of everything I admire about her; she validates her own voice. No timidity. She’s that Christian writer who is critical and intelligent. She says she hopes her sharp mouth would not land her in trouble one day. Yes, she is that person. I love it. No one should think all Christian writers must be one certain way. She writes beautifully well. I’d love to meet her in the future. Do scroll diligently down her Facebook page and check her pretty inactive blog too. Her life is too much beauty for you to ignore.
Tunrayo. Tunrayo delights me. I discover people on Instagram sometimes and I’m delighted. I love her page; crystally clear pictures, beautifully shot pictures, pictures of books (I follow the bookstagram community dutifully), natural hair sister ? e.t.c. she really just appeals to me. Check her out on Instagram here. After dutifully scrolling to the last of her pictures, I checked her website and it’s so simple and inviting. She makes short videos to review books, her write-ups are also engaging. Next up, her YouTube channel. Lol. It’s not obsession. Link to her blog Is here.
I stumbled across this beautiful video through Uju Okorie on Facebook. I think every African should watch this Ted talk. Before I proceed, you know what a Ted talk is right? Believe me I have a friend who previously didn’t know. Was she living under a rock? This talk is brilliant and passionate. Passionate. Of course I Google searched ‘Chika Ezeanya-Esiobu’ afterwards. Why wouldnt I? Why shouldn’t you?
If you don’t know the Lindseys, know them today. Cornelius and Heather Lindsey. Writing about them wouldn’t do as much good as discovering them yourself. Particularly on Instagram( Heather and Cornelius) you  get snippets into their lives since they actively use instagram stories.
 I have a thing for vulnerability, for people who let us in into their lives. I wonder how I can do that some more. Suggestions? That’s part of the vision of this blog. Sharing. Always feel free to contact me through the contact form in the menu. Suggestions are welcome.
Finally, I’ve been listening to beautiful messages and songs of late. Currently as I type, I’m listening to one serious worship by Dunamis church, pastored by Dr. Paul Enenche. You can also get some messages and inspiring bible study outlines from my fellowship‘s website.
Tada!
See you next week! Same time, same place!
What are your thoughts? Who are those you’ve been loving recently and you’ll like to share?
Do you know any of the people I reffered to above?
What does consistency mean to you?

Movie Reccomendation- CAPTIVE

Movie Reccomendations 4 Comments

Hello there.
There is this movie I saw. I thought it could bless you, so I have a summary of it here. It would be good if you can see the movie or read up the real life story online. It’s grace all the way. It’s the story of the Atlanta hostage heroine.
Warning: This is a fairly long post but it’s worth it.?
Title: Captive
It opens up with a mother and daughter having some swell time playing dress up together.
Ashley Smith wakes up from her sleep, and is agitated by that dream she had. She sniffs in some drug.
The next scene is an addict recovery group meeting. She confesses to loosing everything due to her addiction.

“Each time I take it, I tell myself this is the last time but then I just can’t stop. I like it too much”

She needs to go through the recovery group process to gain custody of her daughter again.
After the meeting, the moderator meets with her and asks her how long she’s been clean. She fidgets and says two days . The moderator encourages her and gives her a book by Rick Warren ‘the purpose driven life”

“I want you to know you can’t do this alone”.

The woman leaves and Ashley waits a minute before throwing the book in a bin and leaves. The woman is really not far away, she hears the sound as it falls in the bin and comes back.
At another location, a suspect is brought to court for judgement to be read. He is in handcuffs. He is required to put on a suit before his appearance in the court. He is led by a female police officer to the cell where his clothes are.
Once in the cell, the moment the handcuffs are off, he hits her, not once, not twice, repeatedly. He steals her gun and radio and leaves.
He goes to the courtroom and shoots the honourable judge, the court reporter, and a sergeant. He also shoots a federal agent who runs after him to stop him. He escapes.
Ashley turns up late at work the next day, her boss complains then hands her a package delivered that morning. She opens it and it’s the book again: The purpose driven life.
The murder case is turned over to a detective. He and his team work tirelessly to locate the killer on the loose.
Brian, the killer, goes to his former girlfriend’s house to peep in the window at a baby.
He has a newly birthed son, Christopher. His lawyer had informed him just two days earlier.
The focus is back on Ashley Smith. Her daughter’s custody was granted to her aunt. Ashley is prepared to recieve her girl back.
Ashley puts her house in order because her daughter would be moving in soon.
She discovers some drugs in the process, and instead of flushing it out in the toilet, she gets high on it.
It’s 2:30am and she goes to get a cigarette in her car. The killer, Brian, who has been in the neighbourhood attacks her and holds her hostage. He is armed and quite violent. He has two guns and a knife. He discovers she has a daughter somewhere and uses that as a threat to her.
Her legs and hands are tied for some time.
Along the line, they talk a bit and she learns about his new son too.
Through the police radio with him, the detective speaks with him for a while. Brian breaks the radio in anger. Restless from the conversation with the detective, he asks Ashley for weed. She gives him methamphetamine. The same drug that has taken a lot from her. He tells her to have a go first, but she refuses. He sniffs in a lot and goes hysterical. He is so hysterical, she is afraid and tries escaping through her bathroom window but she can’t. At some point he recovers his senses a bit. Asks her why she didn’t sniff it in herself. He holds her at gunpoint and asks her to, whilst questioning it’s content. She refuses, not wanting to continue down that life path.
He let’s her be, untying her. She goes to read a book, The purpose driven life, he asks her what the title is, then requests she reads it aloud.
As the day dawns, she does some cooking because he is hungry. He asks what assistance he could offer and helps her put up a mirror. She is suprised. When they settle to eat, she reads from the book again at his request. She reads:

“God deserves your best. He shaped you for a purpose and he expects you to make the most of what has been given to you”.
“I haven’t been given anything” he replies
“You have a son” she says.
“I’m never going to see him again, anyway”
“If you stop what you’re doing and give up yourself. Maybe you will”

From the book:

“Fear is a self imposed prison that will keep you from doing what you want to”

Ashley looks at the time and decides she must leave. Its 9:00am and she is to meet her daughter. She tells Brian she can’t disappoint her daughter again after all the things that have gone wrong in her life. She walks towards the door slowly. She keeps looking back, he says nothing. When she is at the door, he asks her to come for something she would need. Her cell phone battery which he had seized. She gets it and runs to her car. She’s just been released from a seven hour hostage situation. She drives a bit then calls 911. She cries, still shaken.
Brian waits in the house and soon he hears the sound of an helicopter hovering above. Police officers surround his house with various snipers and gunmen. He is asked to surrender.
When he doesn’t, Ashley is invited to say something to him over the megaphone.

Brian, it’s Ashley. I came back.
It’s not too late Brian. Brian, there is purpose in your life . It’s time. Do the right thing Brian.”

He paces for so long then he dials his former girlfriend’s number and leaves a message for his son and requests that he be allowed to listen to it when he is old enough.
Brian surrenders outside and is taken away.
Ashley is prevented from stepping into her house yet. Yellow duct tape is used to seal it off. She stands behind the tape and sees the disarray that is her house. All in one night. Just like her life was once in disarray. She sees the mirror he hung on the wall and She knows grace has visited her.
She gets reunited with her daughter.
At the close of the movie, its written that:
“Ashley has been drug free since that night of her ordeal.
She has been a celebate recovery leader, helping others who struggle with addiction…
Brian Nichols is currently serving multiple life sentences without the possibility of parol.
While prison rules prohibit Brian from seeing his son until he is 18, Brian hopes to someday meet him.
Ashley and Brian have not seen each other since trial.
At the close of the movie, there is a clip of Ashley’s interview on Oprah’s show. Rick Warren, author of the purpose driven life, is also present.
Ashley recounts the tiring ordeal and her thoughts on giving the killer holding her hostage drug to get high on, that night:

“What have you just done. You have just offered the thing that ruined your life and made you crazy to a killer. You’re dead now”

Rick Warren:

I think there are a lot of great lessons in Ashley life. One of them is ” you don’t have to be perfect to be used by God. If God only used perfect people, nothing would be done because none of us is perfect
The other one is, no matter how bad your problems are, God’s purpose is bigger…Everybody is looking for hope. When people are going through a crisis, they are looking for hope”

The movie is dedicated to the victims of Brian Nichols.
Where sin abounds, grace abounds much more Romans 5:20

——————————
It turns out the real life story is a bit different from the movie’s portrayal.
In the movie, God worked in and through Ashley who had no faith in him. That signified the end of the addictive hold. It signified the surrender of a terrible killer. She found saving grace.
Dear reader, can you and I partner with God well enough that he uses our little effort, the book we present to someone in dire need, to reproduce grace in that life?

BOOK REVIEW–And the Shofar Blew

Book Reviews 4 Comments

The first time I picked up this book to read, it was an e-book version. I dove into the first chapter, and when I had cause to put it down, I didn’t miss it.
When my baby sister decided to buy me a book as my birthday gift and we didn’t locate the title by Karen Kingsbury which she was determined to buy for me, we settled for this, after all its a Francine Rivers’ book (and I’m a Francine girl). I had no clue it was the same book I had started to read once.

New ride people, new ride.

Author: Francine Rivers
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Publisher/publication date: Tyndale house publishers inc/ 2003
Pages: 435 pages(my paperback copy)
ISBN: 978-0-8423-6583-3

Blurb
As Paul and those around him struggle to discern what it truly means to live out their faith, they must ultimately choose between their own will and God’s plan. The story of a dynamic young preacher, committed to building his church–but at what cost?
Paul Hudson seemed like the perfect pastor to lead Centerville Christian Church and Eunice was the perfect pastor’s wife. When Paul accepted the call to pastor the struggling church, he had no idea what to expect. But it didn’t take long for Paul to turn Centerville Christian Church around. Attendance is up, way up, and everything is going so well. If only his wife could see it that way. Still, he tries not to let her quiet presence distract him. But Eunice knows that something isn’t right and it hasn’t been for a long time… Eunice closed the bedroom door quietly and knelt beside her bed. I am drowning, God. I’ve never felt so alone. Who can I turn to but you, Lord? Where else does a pastor’s wife go for help when her marriage is failing and her life is out of control? Who can I trust with my anguish, Lord? Who but you? Grasping her pillow, she pressed it tightly to her mouth so that her sobs would not be heard.
 Related: Read a review of Francine River’s Redeeming love here

Review
The title didn’t suggest much to me as I began. I was focused on getting past the start of the book which I found rather boring.
This isn’t the best book I’ve read by Francine Rivers, literature wise. I appreciate this book in it’s Christian capacity. I appreciate the cogent lessons it draws out for a Christian and for the church at large. But as a piece of art, it didn’t hook me much. Not even the blurb!
Paul Hudson and his wife, Eunice appear as the cutest couple around. They have a son, Tim, and together they’re on fire for God.
A call comes to pastor a once-vibrant, now dying church in California- Centerville Christian Centre.
He shakes up the church with the zeal burning in him. One old elder tells his wife at home:

“He’s trying to raise the dead”
“Good” she sipped her decaf laced with cream and sugar. “You’re pleased, aren’t you?”
“Yep.”
“What about the others?”
“He shook ’em up”.
“We all need a little shaking up now and then”
Samuel chuckled. ” I don’t think it’s going to be a matter of now and then, Abby, but a matter of from now on“

With the onset of more liberty in a church of his own, Paul’s fire soon needs encampment. He disregards those who brought him the invite to pastor, he gets zealous and dreams big.
His dreams are working. The church is growing.
But his relationship with his wife and son take a decline.
We encounter how the life of a pastor can radically affect the life of every other person.
We’re left to juxtapose the building God wants us to do to the church (his body) with the building we do to the church ( the structure).
Related: read a review of Francine River’s Atonment child here
Some of the major characters are Paul, Eunice, Stephen, David Hudson, Lois Hudson, Abby, Samuel.
Some of the central themes include: The vast impact of fatherhood on the lives of children; The balance of family life and the ministry call; Love gone sour; Hearing the voice of God.
We have a few beautiful sentences in the book:

“Why don’t you gentlemen go out on the patio and enjoy the last bit of sunsine while I clean up the kitchen? Its hot enough in here without you two adding your steam.”
Samuel chuckled. “What do you say, Stephen? You think it’ll be cooler outside?”
Abby turned at the sink. ” you can always turn on the sprinklers.”
Samuel opened the screen door, inviting their guest to follow. “Never argue with a lady, Stephen. If you win, you just end up feeling guilty”. The younger man laughed as he pushed his chair up to the kitchen table”

“We all have besetting sins, Stephen. They’re the trouble that bring us to our knees and keeps us depending on the Lord for strength”

” he intended to woo her not just in the way he had in the early days of their courtship, with flowers and love letters, soft music and dimmed lights, but with the right decisions. Walking the walk, one step at a time. Keeping the faith with her, safeguarding their marriage”

She looked fragile and broken. “You know what hurts most, Euny? I can’t seem to hear the Lord’s voice anymore. It used to be so clear that it was like a trumpet call-like the shofar of ancient Israel. But I can’t hear him anymore. Not even the still, small voice. And I want that more than anything.” She took Eunice’s hand, her eyes filled with anguish. ” Don’t Let it happen to you, honey. Please don’t let it happen”.

The characters are credible and understandable although a lot of times, I was annoyed by the patience the majority of them demonstrated ( I cover my face in shame remorse).
My favourite character is Lois, Eunice’s step mother. My love for her grew in bounds when she had cause to go to a pub. All her responses were lit. She appeared bold and brazen for the gospel, she’d only become subdued by the man she was married to. I was glad she heeded God’s wake up call through Eunice to see what she’d been doing all along. I apologize for the little spoilers.
I highly recommend this book to Christians especially Christian leaders in any capacity.
This is also good for anyone who wants a perspective into what it takes to build a home and a church too. Of course, if you’re a fan of Rivers, you shouldn’t miss out on it!

What are your thoughts? Have you read this book before? Are you interested? Feedback!

Finance and perspective

Educative 3 Comments

“Only self-discipline keeps you learning when there is no one marking your script. Only great managers of self become great leaders tommorow.”

-Excerpts from Engaging the power of self discipline.
We’re meant to improve on ourselves, as humans. When we stop, there is a problem.
We’re to constantly assess ourselves and make necessary improvement.
Any dimension of life you do not have a firm grip on, has room for improvement. It doesn’t matter if that dimension is oily, get good gloves, do something. You should have a grip on it. That’s discipline.
No one wants to get to that stage in their life when they wonder if it’s not too early to regret. Regrets are awful. Regrets are terrible.
For major matters however, it’s best to have a firm grasp pretty early in order to avoid regrets. Live consciously, live with an aim to get better.
Personally, finance has been an aspect I’ve not had full grasp on.
I’ve never entered debts nor had financial difficulties but I cannot categorically say that I can control my finances. Some months, it’s yaaay. Some months it’s naaaay. I wouldn’t even tell you which one surfaces more often.
I spend easily once I’m shopping. My shopping cart just gets fuller and fuller with pretty things, relevant things, yet all the same, things I can do without.
Just on wendnesday, I had an appointment with a natural hair stylist. As the high-maintenance lady that I can sometimes be, I agreed to spend some amount of money. This agreement was over three times what I budgeted to spend before we had our meeting. I was won over by my love for my hair and by my satisfaction that she was quite knowledgable in her field. It took some holy-spirit inspired thinking at night for me to change my resolve. Yes, I still love my hair. No, I don’t like breaking agreements. However, we need wisdom to make wise decisions. We’re people of integrity and we stand by our words, yet wisdom is pivotal.
In the bible, Proverbs6:1-3 says

“My son,
if you guarantee a loan for your neighbor or pledge yourself for a stranger with a handshake,
2 you are trapped by the words of your own mouth, caught by your own promise.
3 Do the following things, my son, so that you may free yourself,
because you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Humble yourself,
and pester your neighbor.
4 Don’t let your eyes rest or your eyelids close.
5 Free yourself like a gazelle from the hand of a hunter and like a bird from the hand of a hunter.

Are you currently taking a decision financially or otherwise which you need to back away from, carefully consider that passage.
Financially, work towards savings and investment, it never hurts.
Work towards discipline. Have a grasp on your finances.
I took another step by following @clevergirlfinance on Instagram. I’m assured those constant tips on the page, would go a long way.
I’ve also subscibed by e-mail to newsletters on their website and I advise you do too. It’s a really helpful platform. I feel richer by simply having discovered their website.
You may not be earning your own money yet ( probably as a student) but why wait till then to get a grip on financial management?
A man is not yet old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-John Barrymore

Do you have plans for your finances? Do you always live by your budget? Share your defeats and achievements in the comment box, let us learn from them.

Mistakes and perspective

Educative 2 Comments

Hello. Happy independence day celebration to Nigerians.
Today, I’ll be sharing on mistakes and ways to retrace our steps and learn from them.
I’ll share using instances of mistakes I’ve made over this past weekend and useful tips you could all use, if faced with similar situations.
1. Understand that sometimes, our emotions face court room trials. 
I have written a blog post on vulnerability for several months now which I haven’t uploaded on the blog yet. In retrospect, I feel it could as well have been a sanctimonious post. I thought I was Open, honest and vulnerable because I perceived myself to be so based on certain criteria and also, people’s observation. I went ahead and wrote the post confidently while offering useful points.

Honesty? that’s true.

Openness? that’s very debatable among the people who know me intimately.

Vulnerability? …uh. we have a problem here.
On Saturday morning, I had to expose something I considered quite intimate which got me emotional at a gathering and I guess I wasn’t very pleased with the outcome of the meeting after that. I was a bit hurt. During the day, I looked at the word of God and cried and prayed and looked at the scriptures again, then I slept. I discussed with my sister on the phone later that night.
Today, I wonder what made that incident upset my day terribly. It was my vulnerability on the stand and I took ill emotionally.
If you’re faced with a similar situation, you must recognize that there is a tendency for you to blow the facts of the incident out of proportion because it’s personal to you. If you asked other people, they wouldn’t percieve it as strongly as you do. So, calm your emotions down. Court trials aren’t even as bad as they appear to the lay man.
2. Get what lesson God teaching you and stick to it. Over the next few days or hours, you may want to over-rationalize the issue again. Don’t do that. Stick to what God has told you instead. If you over-rationalize, you tend to justify your own weaknesses too and blame the other party. In case you haven’t realized, the blame game helps no one.
Also, it’s always a wasted experience when you “suffered” so much and you’re still unable to decipher the lesson behind it all.
3. Stick to your plans. Did you schedule plans for the day? Try to stick to them. Your schedule doesn’t have to be overturned if it isn’t a major matter you’re dealing with. You could breathe in and out, literally, then proceed with your responsibilities.
A deviation from your scheduled plans would probably cause more anxiety over the load of work you have to achieve by the next day or cause some other damage.
Trust God for the strength to carry on.
4. Speak to someone who often understands you. I mentioned that I called my sister at night and we spoke. She encouraged me.
I know we all sometimes insist, especially when we’re emotionally spent, that no one truly understands us. No one may understand everything about you but someone understands certain aspects of your life. Why don’t you speak to someone you trust, who would reassure you. This should be done wisely. Don’t speak with someone who will slander the offenders in their quest to ‘help’ you.
5. Don’t downplay what you have/ who you are (because of that error)
I did some reading during the weekend. Mostly blogs- I read new blogs, caught up on old blogs too. I enjoyed doing so. Everyone inspired me richly. It however, didn’t occur to me that I have some people getting inspired by my blog too and that they’re waiting for updates. There was an update I planned to, but failed to make on Friday.
A friend of mine called and asked about my blog. She set me thinking.This post is up to remedy that. I have a good blog,  I will remember that.
These lessons are pretty General yet selective. Like I stated earlier though, they’re simply lessons I drew out from my mistakes over the weekend.
Anytime you’re faced with mistakes you’ve made, rather than berate yourself, look out for lessons.
Don’t get stuck in self loathing by realizing all the wrong things you did without realizing what you can do to improve on them next time. Sharing those tips with others around you is also productive. Enough self loathing people. It’s mind over matter. Perspective matters!
Let us hear from you. What lessons have you learnt from your mistakes of late? We could benefit from them so share with us below.