He looks into her purse as she opens it to bring out her transport fare. He sees about four thousand naira,all neatly lined up by the side of the purse.
She holds the thirty naira she has just pulled out, in her hand, and draws her shopping basket nearer to herself. The shopping basket is made of the same straw material used for mats. Inside the basket, he sees eggs, plantain, grinded pepper on the surface.
“excuse me please. Will he pass in front of UI to get to Moniya?”
It’s the last micro second before it becomes obvious he was distracted, when he catches what she said.
” yes” he croakes. He had not expected her to talk to him. This happens to him all the time; responding in unplanned situations, but responding in a voice not much distinct from that of a frog. He is self-conscious.
She still sits uncomfortably in the bus, very upright. In her defence she is apparently the only one of her social class in there.
It is a small and crowded bus plying the route of bodija market to Moniya in Ibadan.
Theirs is the last row in the bus. He sits at the extreme left, she follows and then there is a Fulani man by her right, followed by an Alhaja.
Others in the bus are significantly older and poorer.
The small phone in Ire’s pocket vibrates and makes him jerk his leg suddenly. He pulls out the phone to see it is a beep from his younger brother
“flasher of life” he mumbles under his breath and remembers he has to hurry up his activities to be in church later in the afternoon. He hisses.
“Mo ki gbo gbo yin ninu oko yii kaaro l’oruko Oluwa ”
He is stunned. It’s the UI student speaking.
” o se pataki ki onikaluku wa ye igbe aye wa wo nitori pe. .. “
Her Yoruba is faulty, that should be excuse number 1. They’re also fast approaching UI gate, excuse number 2. By reason of logic there is no reason for her to preach but then she is preaching.
She is.
When the bus gets to park in front of UI, she rushes to complete a faulty statement, then wedges her way out of the bus after paying her fare.
The Alhaja with the yellow scarf at the extreme right hisses after she leaves but Ire knows the Alhaja couldn’t have hissed while the girl was in the bus. There was something compelling about her unjustified courage that made her message worth listening to.
When Ire gets home later that morning with the items he bought at bodija market, he knows he has a motivation to go to church.
He needs what the girl with the shopping basket and purse lined with one thousand naira notes has: the shameless courage fueled by her God.
Posts tagged God
Teachings: FAITH
Not having faith is like saying “God hasn’t done it”
Faith is acting on God’s word. It’s the second thing after you’re convinced something else has taken place. In this case, it’s the second thing after God has spoken his word.
Not claiming” by his stripes I am healed”, shows misunderstanding of the truth of God perfecting my healing already. I don’t know it has happened.
Faith is a function of “I know whom I have believed in and I’m persuaded… “1 Tim1:12
Faith means not believing your senses only. It’s dropping your intellect for God’s word. It’s unlearning all you have grown up to know, because it doesn’t conform to God’s word. That’s why it’s hard for the best of us to have faith. You grew up believing contrary to what you must now believe to have faith.
“but I put my body under, I bring my body under subjection…”
This is because it is no longer I that live but Christ that lives in me” Gal2:20
Knowing that my old man has been crucified with Christ, the life I live I live through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ who loves me and gave himself for me
Thus my body can’t rule me. Physical senses can’t dictate. My body is ‘it’.
I have a new ancestry. For whoever is in Christ Jesus is a new creature, old things have passed away and behold all things have become new 1cor5:17
Jn3:13 “if I have told you of earthly things and ye believe not, how then shall ye believe if I tell you of heavenly things? And no man has ascended up to heaven except he that came down from heaven, even the son of God”
Even things Christ considers earthly, we find it hard to trust him on those subjects, how much more greater things he wants to relay. Most of these things we have difficulty with, are things that have actually happened before and we know it. Healing; we know all divers kinds of miracles have happened but we just find it hard to key in. How much more the great and mighty things he wants to show in jer33:3?
Noah for example had never seen an Ark built. Had never witnessed rain nor heard of it. What’s my excuse? I say I’ve never been to a big healing revival of hundreds of thousands of people, only read of it. Noah read, heard, saw, dreamt nothing. God spoke.
And Go is still speaking today. To me. To you. Through his word. “If only ye believe, ye shall see the glory of God” John 11:40
Faith affirms the integrity of God’s word. Faith is based on the word of God and if God hasn’t spoken there is absolutely no basis for faith.
God, I thank you for your word.
Dear Fearful Christian,
Sweep the ocean floors
will you?
I will do so with you
We need little water
little
Just up to our necks
Every once in a while
Watch the fireworks at night
Will you?
Let nature perform it’s wonders
and your eyes the gazing
Your mouth the laughing
Let your mind be awed
Let your skirt like mine sweep the sand of the beach
Flutter in the wind
Try it
Loose the bands on your hair
You won’t be unholy
Just the wind. A little wind
Call out to the God of zion
He loves air just like you do
Don’t be afraid.
You’re still holy
Let it echo when u find out
What holiness really means
FASTING
We all need to write from a place we get. A familiar place and for that I thought:
God, food, family, quiet
The thing with fasting, she thought, was that it was never fully familiar. You could do it and get used to it on most days but on certain days, it was no respecter of persons. It clubbed and clubbed until the soldiers defending you dropped down their defences and you were under seige. Captured. Your stomach desolate. Burnt down like Jerusalem*.
In this case however you’re not really comforted by knowing a day is coming when you will eat. All your focus is on that moment. That day. Perhaps an opening for a meal will arrive. Can it arrive? You know it won’t. So maybe all the prophecies brought by Isaiah and Jeremiah did not pump up the Israelites. They had lost their glory beyond redemption as they saw it.
But God had a plan.
Dear stomach, on days you’re lost and depressed, God has a plan. Jerusalem was restored. Yaaay people. Yaaay.
* Jerusalem’ capture is recorded in 2 Kings 25 and see Haggai2:9 for the hope for the later house.
N. B: I’m no foodie. I just have to write about the things on my heart, you get it:)?
Though our outer man perishes, our inner man is being renewed. Yaaaay?.
Love and more fasting,
Your girl,
Debby.
FORGIVENESS
Currently: sitting by the window facing the front porch of my house. Watching a flower dance in its pot. I’m occasionally gazing at the tree in my neighbour’s house. I choose to blog
As we grow older, our capacity ought to expand. I refuse to be a 12 year old girl in a 3year old body. At 3 years, the toddler could and would drink water. At 12, she can and would drink but with much more capacity than she did at 3. capacity.
Normally, I’m all shades of good. So I hated it as in turns my good natured attributes got ruffled. The calm superfluity I had, began to dissolve and I saw anger, I saw unforgiveness and I just wouldn’t believe it.
The truth is, it was the new me. I had grown.
When a flower grows, it loses it’s form, grows in every direction, still the same bright leaves, it blooms and glows. It’s still gracious but it has thorns sticking out, it is formless unless the gardener takes the shears and prunes.
John15:2: “…and he prunes every branch that does bear fruit, so that it will be clean and bear more fruit”
A few months ago, I saw unforgiveness was very very ugly, I tell you. Every time I pictured the devil as a young girl, he was ugly but the unforgiveness I saw, was uglier than I had ever imagined. It baffled me. It was sticking out of me. I was able to forgive eventually as God helped me.
2cor3:5 “not that we think we are of ourselves sufficient to do anything but our sufficiency is of God”
The case this time around wasn’t forgiving someone else. It was forgiving myself. I did something I regretted, to put it simply. I didn’t want to pray, I felt I had failed God. Then I remembered some Christian literature I had read saying after you’ve sinned, God is most ready to hear you pray. Ask for forgiveness. It is cheating to think you’re ‘protecting God’ and hence refuse to speak to him with your defiled self. He wants you to come so he can wash you and restore you.
So it’s two themes in my head: Forgiveness and Writing. I have obtained forgiveness from God but how about that other theme? See, I got encouragement to ask for forgiveness without wasting time because I had read.
I know people who still read. This blog inclusive. Thus, I’m writing.
I don’t believe one who was “despised, and rejected, who endured suffering and pain. No one would even look at him, we ignored him as if he were nothing “Isaiah53:3 yet was enduring the suffering that was meant to be ours, would now choose not to forgive us when we return to him. No.
It turns out that my last blog post had a major theme of forgiveness. I gave some excerpts, some of which I’ll quote again. We need to forgive people. We need to forgive ourselves and accept God’s forgiveness. As we grow, we need our spirit man to grow so we can forgive better than we did yesterday because today’s offence is stronger than that of yesterday. we need to love more fiercely. We need more.
The quotes:
“I did it to myself . I did it to myself. mea culpa, mea culpa”
Is not the strategy to take, nope, and that’s because
“God doesn’t condemn he forgives”
Yes
“She looked at him bleakly: ‘your kind of love can’t feel good’
‘Does your kind feel any better?’ she looked away.
He unlooped the reins. ‘right now love doesn’t have an awful lot to do with feelings‘ he said grimly
‘don’t misunderstand I’m as human as the next man. I feel alright. I feel plenty right now, a lot I wished I didn’t’ “
he says love doesn’t have a awful lot to do with feelings. God loves us inspite. Just come
” he[Jesus] was a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!” Isaiah 53;3,4
Still in doubt?
Currently: sitting by the window, my back to the flower still dancing in it’s pot. My body given to typing and eating something yellow again( I did not plan it, seriously!) loool.
What has been your experience on giving and accepting forgiveness?
Love, forgiveness and yellow meals
Debby
BOOK REVIEW-Redeeming Love
Hello there beautiful people of the internet! how have you been? If you’re in Nigeria, how are you dealing with this premium motor spirit(until now, petrol was known as petrol for me o) at 145naira? I trust you’re standing tall in spite. Hope you still eat stew? Tomatoes are the worst hit. The price of it!
I was thinking it’s great to have a journal; it reminds you of your potentials. When you see some of your write-ups in the past, you just want to ride on.Having read previous reviews of movies and books in my journal, I thought ‘what have you been waiting for, Deborah?’. Book review it is.
Two weeks ago I completed “redeeming love”, for the second time. And then I felt like a walking contented-sigh, if you get what I mean.
Now the first time I read “redeeming love” was either in 2007 or 2008, I was in secondary school. I loved-loved it. It was the secret telepathy of we skinny teenage girls. We understood it, we understood ourselves also(well, sort of). Something precious was shared. It was my eye-opener to Francine Rivers’ books which I’ve not been doing justice to. It was pure. For a while, every time I filled a slam book I would write “redeeming love” as my best novel.
Having this book again is a delight. This time, I got other books I’ve never read along side “redeeming love”. Old love always wins out. It’s a feeling you can always bank on. Something familiar. You don’t know about the others but you know the direction in which this one is headed.
The book proved me wrong. I started it and thought ‘oh yes, I remember this scene’. Then I became confused. I thought, ‘was it always like this?’. That was the begining of a roller coaster ride.
I was open to this book, I let it read me.
The title suggests just another love story. No, it’s unique.
This book is a Christian romance. It is written from the third person point of view and its written in a semi-formal style.
As I’ve already laid, Francine Rivers is the author. The publisher is Water Brook Multnomah publishing group. Here is something remarked before the story “here at Water Brook Multnomah, we measure the success of our books by whether or not they deliver real life-change to our readers”. My copy of the e-book has 399 pages.
The story is about the blows life deals to a young woman, its effect on her, it’s effect on the people she meets and how she channels it eventually.
Life is hitting Sarah hard in the face, she’s trying to get up, it’s kicking her right in the stomach again, knocking the wind out of her.
Sarah, Michael Hosea, the Altman family and Duke were the major characters. The characters are credible, each is the perfect picture of something specific.
At the beginning we were led into little Sarah’s life. The world seemed too cruel a place for tender vulnerable Sarah. When we’re let back into her life at 18 years, she’s ruthless, branding some other people’s world.
My favourite character in the book has to be Michael. I consider him very strong. So strong. The patience he has in times of anger and frustration baffles me.
Under the mask Sarah wears, she is brutally honest and accepting of herself.
I respect Michael’s resolute determination in certain things. I admire his faith which propels him to love.
The book deals with so many themes; trust or the lack of it, man’s first experience with the church, unconditional friendship, rejection etc
My favourite part of the book will give the book away so I’m reserving it. I enjoyed the way a stranger to love slowly discovered love. I don’t think I have a least favourite part of this book neither would I change any part. Every part makes up the metamorphosis in the characters’ life.
I would recommend this book to everyone. I think just about everyone would love It, it touches on something core in our lives. Just how much of our burdens are we ready to strip off? Just how much of our lives are we ready to lay down in love?
Now I wasn’t very diligent to highlighting and getting excerpts but I got some:
A glimpse into Sarah’s life at 7:
“Sarah followed, too afraid to be left behind”
“when the other children mocked Sarah and called her mother names, she looked at them and said nothing. What they said was true; you couldn’t argue with what was true”
Other excerpts:
“they scrambled, grappled, gambled and grabbed- and everything they had was spent without thought or consideration. They paid to become enslaved”
“someone who will get dirt beneath her nails but doesn’t already have it in her blood”
“I go up to that room in hope and come out defeated”
“she almost laughed but she knew if she did she would give in completely to hysteria”
“the night sky was so clear, stars everywhere and a moon so big it seemed to be a single silver eye staring down. Her mind and emotions still boiled. She tried to call up her defenses, but they had dispersed”
“she just sat, wordless, back straight, head up, hands clenched in her laps as though she were going into battle instead of going home”
She closed her eyes tightly ” ‘you want what I don’t have. I can’t love you. Even if I was able, I wouldn’t.’
he hunkered down, took the damp blanket from her and covered her with the dry quilt ‘why not?’
‘because I spent the first eight years of my life watching my mother do penance for loving a man’ “
“I did it to myself . I did it to myself. mea culpa, mea culpa”
“God doesn’t condemn he forgives”
“She looked at him bleakly: ‘your kind of love can’t feel good’
‘Does your kind feel any better?’ she looked away.
He unlooped the reins. ‘right now love doesn’t have an awful lot to do with feelings‘ he said grimly
‘don’t misunderstand I’m as human as the next man. I feel alright. I feel plenty right now, a lot I wished I didn’t’ “
” he[Jesus] was a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised and we did not care is53:3″
Feel free to read my previous book reviews here and here.
What do you think? Does the book intrigue you in the slightest? Will you get it? What book are you currently reading? Your experience is not over here until you comment.
See you in a bit.
Cheap tomatoes, books, God’s love,
Debby.
PHOTOGRPAHY POST- frolic in yellow
I’ve found a new love for colour yellow and all the yellowity it embodies hence I play with mentos sweet 🙂
And custard 🍮
You want to know what else is yellow?
Tid-bit advice from Amy Poehler’s book “yes please”. I might or might not review it when I’m through reading. You just learn the lesson I’m passing across here. Nobody is permitted to judge you while you’re having fun so goof away…
Great sky; great landscape. God feeds our eyes with beauty.
And sunset. Something melts in satisfaction inside of me when I see the perfect sunset.
This was three days ago, I saw the sunlight stream into my house from the window and I knew something magical must be going on. The front door was locked. I was unbound. I ran upstairs three times before I got the right key. The sunset was worth it. Contrary opinion? Anybody?
Elder sister and I made “buns”. Well… Elder sister made buns, I hopped around. We both ate it though. With all the love in our middle. (get it? Look at the picture again)
Someone is honing photography skills by all means.
You know you’re becoming a blogger when you want to eat an apple but you just must play with it a little. Food is meant to be snapped eaten.
Just to convince you there is an upcoming food photographer in the house, I present to you plain-looking-but-by-all-means-delicious-moinmoin.
By all means ignore what it looks like, I wasn’t being a foodie all this while. Many other things went down. I’ve been at home for a while now. University of Ibadan students chose a mini break for themselves☺ then the school expanded it:) the nation chose to compound it:mrgreen:. Now we don’t know when we would go back to school. Even Asuu is on strike. Everyone is on strike. #GodBlessNigeria
Finally,
Best advice is up there🔝. Rev2:25 ” I will ask nothing further of you; only hold tightly to what you have until I come.” (TLB). This is rather important because the world passes away and the lust thereof. Even colour yellow!
Go forth, frolic, take pictures, adore yellow and hold God fast.
Love.
Debby Adebayo
Life as a non-fiction writer
So I’m wondering, “what exactly keeps me from writing?” It’s not one thing, that I know for sure. So when someone asks me that question, of course I come up with an answer but I still know it’s not one thing.
The time is 1:35am and I’m preparing indomie in the kitchen. This is the time I’m best atuned to write, I know. My thoughts have always resonated well with writers who, when they’re interviewed, talk of writing early in the morning after they wake up. I think yes, that’s the way! But for me, no. I have to have my personal devotion with God first.
So I considered, what of much earlier Debby? Perhaps, if your personal devotion would be by 5am, what of waking by 3 am to write? But then I felt it would be mechanical, like I’ll be doing it just because it has to be done, if it really were first place in my life I would merrily run to have it anytime I wake up.
Last night, the Lord had different plans for me. I found myself on YouTube and I found Zadie Smith. Then I saw an interview she had with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and I spent an hour on it.
I got this drive to write as myself. Chimamanda was pure in her own skin;comfortable. Her favorite book of mine is Americana. She said she wrote it going against the set back rules, even to herself. Well, I always got that vibe reading it.
I then decided I was going to do what I pleased on my blog. Truth is, I love writing fiction, infact I started the blog as a place to put up my short stories but writing fiction doesn’t come easy to me anymore. What will we do about that?*mindless shrug*. I’m going to live my life doing as it pleases my Lord and myself. I would put up a post when I can, I would endeavour to make it a real good one. I won’t delve into all aspects like I did when I was trying to find my voice. I look back at something like we’re weak without weekly words and I don’t even hear myself in it. What was I doing giving definition of words? lol.
I’m thinking I’m more of a non-fiction person now. I would blog on that and I would do what is right, no fear of laid down patterns and procedures. I would find myself subsequently writing at night, with more midnight snack *small smile*. Nevertheless guys, if I were to find my fiction voice back again, I would probably write a post like this and delve right back into it. It’s my blog. It’s a personal blog. A lifestyle blog. My life isn’t a straight-out ‘one definition’ life. Thus if you’re going be reading a lifestyle blog, you’re going to be reading a burst of different tastes. You’re going to be reading changes.
On that note, welcome Debby and welcome reader✌
P. S:I feel having said welcome, we’re all looking forward to different gigantic posts in this “new dawn”. Nothing of such people, nothing of such.
Debby Adebayo
gleanings from the internet–TO SHARE IS TO CARE
Happy new month guys. Good to be back here. School has been progressing. Sometimes I’m a little depressed about the silly things, most times I am so grateful to God for his ever abiding presence, for my friends, for my family, for happiness. God is my hope for tomorrow.
Currently I’m having this internal battle about when exactly I would loose the hair on my head.
About my photography project, I was always subtly aware it couldn’t be posted weekly. I’d try to make it as often as possible but definitely not weekly. Making it weekly will put on an extra anxiety for me, a schedule I will chasing smoke to catch up with. I’ll still term them as weekly posts. I also absolutely promise to feed you with good pictures, trying to avoid pictures of showers(if you missed my last photography project post, please click here)
I have a number of books in my head that I should’ve done reviews of. I have discovered that for me, the time lag between when I read a book and when I choose to start penning it down goes a long way to determine if I will ever review the book. Hence the reason many books have slipped under the door without a review.
I’ve been on Arundathi Roy’s ‘THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS’ for up to a month now. You must understand that life happens. Furthermore I’m reading the soft copy. Yes, you get, it’s never the same as the printed back.
Today I have chosen to give you a list of my ‘currently loving’. A few things I enjoyed checking out in the month of February.
First and foremost the month of February marked two important things for me. On the 11th it was my parents wedding anniversary. On the 23rd it was my mother’s birthday. That’s enough currently loving for me. However here goes my list:
This paris review-the art of fiction. I had many quotes to jot down from it. I even more love the interviewer’s disposition. I long for the time I too like Toni Morrison can afford the luxury of choosing what praise to accept. Lol. It’s a good read for writers, aspiring writers and curious readers, it’s however somewhat long.
I found poetolu on instagram, I loved his poems. I checked out his website and voila I bookmarked this post. It just rubs of on me in the best of manners. I read it and went over it again. You should most absolutely check it out.
You should constantly check out Afoma’s blog. I follow and visit lots of blogs frequently however certain blogs remain home to me. Ihundasmusings.com is definitely one of them.
Timi Yeseibo has her way of bringing a lively twist to whatever she writes. Read flight to lagos here and just tell me if you don’t love the ending.
This post seemed like a really long tale of her day but I got so many good lessons along the way. Somehow I just couldn’t but quote out somewhere along the end
”I watched some jellyfish dance ,not really going anywhere, just exploring the same territory in slightly new ways over and over” sometimes we’re really not going anywhere new, doesn’t mean we should let the water be stale. Explore the same place in slightly new ways over and over again.
I can’t remember how I stumbled upon this but it’ really good. It’s also about writing. On coping with writers block or the lies we often tell ourselves along the way.
truly, in various wise, a lot of people return home different and have to cope with being different at home. good post this is.
I follow Ore Fakorede on twitter and this led me to an article he tweeted from medium
I hope you gleaned a lot from the people of the internet. I hope you grow in that wise. It was great sharing with you again.
I’d put up my photography project post soon. Do have lovely weekend and keep in touch.
Instagram: @mz_hybeekay
Twitter: @mz_hybeekay
e-mail address:debbyadebayo2012@yahoo.com
I'm not incidental to you!
It seems the children were merely incidental to him. Perhaps there is someone in your life, you’re convinced without a doubt in your heart (maybe in your household or among your friends), that God’s hand is evident upon, do you presume that spiritually you are incidental to them in the scheme of life. You probably haven’t considered it.
Could it be that when things are going to move spiritually, you have no stamina, no weight in the spirit world, so much that your movement would be as a result of the other person’s influence. Trust me, that is not preferable. It could be a positive or negative movement.
Take a look at Job’s life. How could it be that the children had not wondered “oh! What is going on here? Our dad is the most influential man in the east, he fears God, he is respected. Why is my life all about the wealth he has amassed and the weekly parties we rotate? Why? Why don’t we live lives that are holy enough so there is no weekly ‘daddy’s kids consecration’ ”
oh why didn’t they cry? How I wish they did.
This routine or cycle, if you please, went on. They obliged him by coming for the consecration, not that it was totally unpalatable.
Oh on that night, they had made merry In their heart, with the first daughter saying “how is it that only you guys hold the parties and invite us. We daughters will throw the next one. I will make sure you all get drunk to your fill. What a man can do, a woman can do much better.”
Are you supposed? don’t you know wealth usually makes a person more enlightened. Maybe it was at that stage that the feminist revolution was to be birthed. They took no thought for tomorrow. Daddy will pray for us. Well daddy’s life was about to change.
The devil had just left the presence of God plotting to plague Job further. Just till his faith will shrink and he will curse God.
If awakening feminist daughter 1 had just a bit of spiritual understanding. If she had developed a relationship with God. If she could be someone God will brag about, death wouldn’t have followed.
She wouldn’t have been incidental to Job’s life on earth such as to be sacrificed. She would have been her own person, with a mandate to fulfil. Someone with spiritual weight and influence. Someone even the devil will have been interested in trying.
Rather they all died because Job, who had spiritual weight, was going to have a change in his life.
God, I want to grow more and more in you. I want to mean so much to you. I don’t want to be reckoned in the spiritual realm in relation to someone. I want to be close to you.