My passive preoccupation for some time has been on the subject of therapists.
Therapy. Therapist.
I planned that after turning it over in my mind a few more times, I’ll put up a post.
Tonight, I’m envisioning the million things I need to do tomorrow and in all that, I remember my thoughts on therapy.
Some people perhaps at the sight of the word ”therapist”, without thinking, they say ‘God forbid’. That’s cool. God forbid.
It’s just that therapy is broader than the narrow stream you’ve perceived it to be while watching T.V.

A therapist’s goal is to help patients make decisions and clarify their feelings in order to solve problems. Therapists provide support and guidance, while helping patients make effective decisions within the overall structure of support.
Source: all psychology schools

What I fancy about therapy appointments, even though I’ve never been to any one are:

  • The comfy offices. They probably have tips for interior designs peculiar to their profession. You do know that your dwelling place affects your mental health, right? It does. I may one day do a post on that, it does.
  • The fact that you can have me-time. You can just talk and talk and you’ll be listened to and listened to. Intriguing right? You’re not careful to not dominate the conversation, rather it’s all yours to dominate. You’re sure the therapist isn’t thinking let this girl finish her statement so I can share my own woes too.
  • The fact that silence is allowed. I don’t understand this restless urge by people to constantly fill silence. Silence isn’t always a void. It doesn’t have to be filled. A little quiet please.
  • The fact that you’re prodded by the littlest of statements. A soft-spoken question can give you time to pull up the fibres of your mind. This is opposed to the rushed living and suppressed emotions most people daily engage in. Here, careful, minimal, conscious living is at work.
  • You leave feeling better because you’re able to close old chapters in your life. You’re able to analyze your relationship with everyone that matters to you. To voice out, for perhaps the first time, all the positive and negative things you think about a person’s character and you don’t have to be careful doing it. (you get what I mean or you don’t? that you love a person doesn’t mean it’s everything about them that sparkles to you. You are permitted to have candid and accurate opinions on your friends and family).
  • You have someone who Is not entangled with your everyday life and living ( a stranger), get into your mind. No expectations from them. No judgements. No need to compose yourself. Compose, bawo?

I’m smiling just thinking of what I’ve written.
Or you’re still waiting for the punch line? Sighs, this is it really. Up there. Put in two words: Reflection time.
Not all therapists can provide you with what I just listed. No. no.
But I think its worth considering. I think therapy just advocates for simple and wholesome living. Yes, you’re a successful and busy investment banker but in your one hour a week, you get to just slow down, keep quiet and wonder why you really threw yourself a birthday party last week. Think on your motivations.
Perhaps since the start of this post, you’ve been thinking that Debby is just talking sha. She doesn’t know those who see therapists see them for serious reasons like mental illnesses and that they pay a lot. You probably whispered the mental illnesses part.
I don’t think mental illness should be whispered. It’s a thing. In Africa, we now recognize it and are starting to care for it, good. But you must understand that a number of people who get depressed, for example, are those who have suffered from burn-outs repeatedly.
Burn-out? Sounds familiar? It means to tire, due to overwork; or to extinguish due to lack of fuel. Occasionally most of us get burned out then pick up again. I think some don’t pick-up and due to tangled emotions and heavy workload, they may eventually get depressed. In light of that, do you now see why the little things matter and are worth discussing? Perhaps in therapy?
You are important so little things that affect you count in the grand scheme of things.
You still don’t think so? okay, share your thoughts.
Like I said, I’ve never been to a therapist, this is my imagination canvassing for it. But perhaps I’m also saying something more and for lack of space, this would be continued in the concluding part of this therapy discussion coming up on Wednesday. I hope you’ll be around to read it.



  1. Buks July 21, 2018 at 10:25 AM

    Nice post. Never really given a thought to what therapy is about.
    Lemme ask: I think as good friends and family, we can well serve ourselves as therapists especially as we learn more (from places like your website ?). In that case, can it get as good as rendering the professional therapists not really useful?
    Secondly, can you advise someone close to see a therapist?
    Seems today is question day? ?

    1. debbyhub - Site Author July 22, 2018 at 7:24 PM

      I think friends and family can do that to a degree but not ultimately. Why? Everyone has a life. Unless you only work for two hours a day and have three friends, I doubt you’ll be as effective as a therapist would be to your friend. That doesn’t in any way mean you don’t love them. You do, but…life.
      Moreover there are some things best told to a stranger, no?
      The second question, yes. The type of therapist matters as not every therapist will do. But yes, as of now (I can’t speak for later on in my life)I know I can advice someone close to me to do so.
      It’s really a good thing once you dissociate it from the stigma most people have attached.

  2. TheValueAdder July 21, 2018 at 5:12 PM

    I sure will come around to read!

    1. debbyhub - Site Author July 22, 2018 at 7:26 PM

      I can count on you Esther ?.
      And I’m off to read your blog. Since I saw the promotion of the title yesterday, I knew I’ll be around to check it. I hate wasting time anywhere. I’d rather file my nails and delete old pictures on my phone. ?.
      Off to read it.

      1. TheValueAdder July 23, 2018 at 3:30 AM

        Hehehe! Sometimes I go through my screenshots folder and start deleting stuff, that’s usually the overfilled one, lol.

  3. Pingback: Therapists; To have or not to have? (2) – Debby Hub

  4. Oluoma Udemezue January 24, 2019 at 3:44 AM

    Great one!

    1. debbyhub - Site Author January 24, 2019 at 11:31 AM

      Thanks Oloma! ?


Share your thoughts