What I Miss: My Blog as it was last year. I miss writing articles like Hello strong Friend, book reviews like Born a Crime. Law has taken me on a different course. I still spend much time blogging, but they’re mostly getting the technical bits down and having it published properly. The time of spending days writing a single post have been on hold. I miss them.
Anyway, today is not for reminiscing. Today is for…(drum roll)… my sister. Okay, last week was for my sister. October 19. Today is for you all who want to know about my sister.
No, not really.
Today is for those who want to know about my sister’s wedding. Today is for you.
You know already that my post is coloured from my perspective (which tends to be painfully limited when I’m not wearing my glasses, of which I didn’t, last weekend). Lets go then.
What were my highlights?
I’m sure you’re happy to see dancing gets its own respected position in this post.
Did I dig the dance? Absolutely not. I’m still Debby.
When I first knew it had happened and there was no hiding place: During the dance to the signing of the marriage registry.
The joke at home had been that I will only dig the dance when the bride does, in other that the attention is on the bride and not on my feeble attempts. Guys, man proposes, God disposes. Hmm.
Dancing into the reception hall: Chai.
Here’s a funny incidence at the reception- the width between the couple’s chair and mine on stage, was a little distance . So when we settled in, I was facing the world alone (the couple had each other). The couple had to step down to dance with parents at a point, best man was downstairs receiving instructions. I couldn’t sit on stage alone so I started dancing alone on stage for a long time in front of everyone (awkward limbs movement). I didn’t feel hugely embarassed but amused, until I told my mum and sisters later and they were laughing. Mum said I could’ve come down the stage. Then it occurred to me, Debs, you could’ve sat with friends for that period! Face palm. But then what’s life, if we don’t get to embarrass ourselves every once in a while.
Take it people – that’s how I dance. No body coordination.
The message at the engagement
The cordiality and sweet, simple fun at the engagement was a delight.
The decor did not dissapoint. What’s more? I had never expected a sermon like that at an engagement ceremony. It felt like Jesus’ address on that final day of the feast.
True, Deep and Quietly Loud. It was such a blessing that daddy has ordered that the message be packaged separately too by the videographers.
The Worship Night
My sister had said pretty early that she’ll love to have a worship night (i think her phrase was ‘praise night’) on Friday after the engagement ceremony. She had said no instruments, just our singing. I didn’t agree. Psalm 150:3 says to praise God with the sound of the horn; praise Him with the harp and lyre. I arranged for how a keyboard and guitar would be present.
The bulk of those available at the worship night were those with whom we had enjoyed fellowship together at our undergraduate days on campus: differing years of graduation and from different ends of Nigeria, we gathered again and praised the Lord. For me, the song underlying my heart was a Yoruba song saying “I’ll be praising you all my life”. Wherever I am, whenever it is, I’ll be caught praising God with his own people.
There was also a personalized song from the Groom to the bride after the worship session. So beautiful.
The Bridal Shower
We planned a surprise bridal shower in one week several kilometres away from the destination.
I was delighted to know the friends I could count on, and the beauty of it all. I planned certain events and games that didn’t go on, but it was all for good.
The bride’s statement at the shower that Her groom was one who always did what was right by and for her, and she had to be cautious to not take that for granted struck me. I think same goes for us and Christ.
Yes, Dorcas’ friend Taiwo, is a good Christian and I’m glad to have met her this period. Its an highlight o, because I hope to always leave an impression of Christ-likeness everywhere everywhere I go .
The little bride
She was well-behaved for the most part o. I really liked having her beside me. Esther (my younger sister) had the honour of managing her too.
Now, sitting in the front pew in church, I fed this baby her rice twice. On the second occasion, she gazed expectantly at her meat, so while the sermon progressed, I valiantly attempted cutting beef with a spoon (I had a poker face on).
It failed despite my steady attempts. I did the next best thing, I used my hand. Yes, right there. The meat did not yield. At a cross road, I decided to cut short the baby’s meat expectation and save my dignity. The possible accidents that the peppered meat could have caused till today, know no bounds. Whew.
The Fan experience
Do you experientially know what what it means to fan a bride during thanksgiving?
She’s in a big white dress that makes her perspire, people are dancing around her, she is dancing continuously for thirty minutes and I am there using a fancy hand fan to do what only an industrial fan should do, while I dance too.
It shouldn’t be made a way of life.
When I ran
Twice. At the church. Sighs.
First off, my dress had a train. Consequently, I was overtly saddled with picking up the bride’s train and not forgetting mine. I could’ve tripped on mine and fallen if I ignored it.
So I ran with my train. Dear D, I’m pretty glad at the miracle of it all.
I ran the first time to call the chairpersons for the day who were at the end of my church’s large compound. The bride wanted them to join in taking pictures. I managed this inspite of the crowd happily greeting me, it was like dodging bullets.
I ran the second time after I very conveniently packed the bride’s dress train into into the car and closed the door for her on her way to the reception from church. Sitting pretty in my daddy’s car, happy to have a breather, he hollered “Are you not supposed to be in Dorcas’ car? Who will help her with dress when she gets there?” So I raced after a moving car – my train cautiously following me.
Question Pre-emption : No, I didn’t ask for a train behind my dress. No, I didn’t try on my dress until two days prior.
People ought to have training manual on what it takes to be a chief bridesmaid. I told Dorcas I wouldn’t do it for someone that’s not my best friend.
After all these escapades sha, how do I know I did well and didn’t enter the couple’s book of “people to be mindful of against subsequent events”? The groom has taken to calling me “the best of the best ladies”. That’s good, innit? Together, they also made a mushy phone call to me. Couple affairs. Dear Lord.
Do I feel I didn’t get sufficient time to appropriately greet friends that came? yes
Did I feel an obligation to call everyone one by one, apologize for not having plenty time with them, and thank them profusely for coming too? Yes
Did I, by the following day, call some who travelled, to ask about their journeys? yes
Does this make me feel like the assistant bride? Yes!
Finally, am I ready to honour all those saying to me “you’re up next”? Hehehe. This answer requires it’s own blog post.
Those that asked for gists, I hope you’re satisfied.
Vote of Thanks: I appreciate the love shown to the bride, groom, and
assistant bride this period. Let me join the yoruba tribe in saying “tie na a de o” “a ba eyin naa see nkan ayo”.
The experience was a lot more than I recounted here, for lack of space and time. The pictures aren’t satisfactory to me either, but “done is better than perfect”. Hopefully I’ll upgrade the pictures when I get other professional pictures.
In all, a ceremony lasts a few hours but the impact of a home built on the rock of Christ lasts a last time. Thanks for reading.
I considered not putting up this post because:
1) I do not yet have the professional pictures I was hoping to have and use along side, and
2) Today is a prayer conference in my NLS fellowship and we’re all praying ‘fire’. How can I while praying fire, write about a wedding?
But none of those excuses prevailed and so I hope you’ve considered this post worth the while.
With great love, I say see you here with a new post in two weeks. Pending the time, brush through my archives for other posts.
Light, Weddings and dancing,
More than satisfactory, Debby. I enjoyed reading ? And your gele!
Congratulations to the couple and to you, assistant bride?♥️
P.S: I look forward to more pictures, though
Thanks Gbemibori. I’m glad you’re satisfied and hopefully you’ll get an alert when new pictures come in. My gele thanks you too.
Oooh Debbie. I have a smile on my face as I write this. Thank you. “Ti yin naa a de o”.
Thanks dear. I’m glad you loved the post
This is beautiful!!!! Well-done Debbie
Thank you, Sarah.
Debbieeeeeeee…… Thanks for the write up…… I really enjoyed it…….. and as for for the chief brides maid duty….lol you tried jare….. Well Done…..your gele also was top-notch….. I’m happy for the couple and I’m happy for you and your family!!!!….. God bless and keep you all in Jesus name!!!!!…..much love sis!
Thanks for liking my gele! Amen. Amen. Thanks for reading too!!
This is a very detailed and beautiful write-up
I love the way you captured and packaged it with some humour??
We thank God for the sweet, unforgettable experience!
Thanks mama. I’m grateful for the experience we all had.
See me smiling and laughing as I read through.. It was an enjoyable read.. Racing in that best lady’s gown on heels.. Mhen you deserve some accolades! ?.. Dancing alone on the stage, Oluwadebbie ooo.. Lol ?..
And yes you did really great (I agree there should be a certificate course on best man and best lady duties) ? ?… Considering my experience as a best man some years back as well..
Thanks for the pictures and gist.. We are most grateful for your immense support throughout as well, our best of the best ladies.. ?
And very soon, tiyin Na a’de oo in Jesus name..
Loool. Thank you. It was an honour to be the best of the best ladies for you both. God bless your home.
Hilarious!!! I enjoyed reading through; your writing skills are lovely Debby.
You did an awesome job as the best lady.
Thank you for the post and pictures, we look forward to part two.
Bride, part two?! All I intend on doing is to probably update pictures. Thanks for the compliment, and for having a wedding that encapsulated all these events for me
The part of dancing all alone on the stage…And how it could have been avoided. I’m sure you have learnt from that event. The fact that the solution your mum gave didn’t come to your mind could be because of the lesson you needed to learn from that act.
This is beautiful. I love the concluding words about a home built on Christ lasting for a life time.
We are patiently waiting for yours. I hope to be one of the friends there on that day to see the Bride’s dance when she will be alone with her groom on stage and all eyes will be on her.
Ahhh you just put me in a hard place. So all eyes will be on me on my wedding day? why haven’t I thought of that? Lol. Thanks, Yemi.
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