Date Archives October 2019

Pictures and gists from my Sisters Wedding last weekend

What I Miss: My Blog as it was last year. I miss writing articles like Hello strong Friend, book reviews like Born a Crime. Law has taken me on a different course. I still spend much time blogging, but they’re mostly getting the technical bits down and having it published properly. The time of spending days writing a single post have been on hold. I miss them.

Anyway, today is not for reminiscing. Today is for…(drum roll)… my sister. Okay, last week was for my sister. October 19. Today is for you all who want to know about my sister.

No, not really.

Today is for those who want to know about my sister’s wedding. Today is for you.

You know already that my post is coloured from my perspective (which tends to be painfully limited when I’m not wearing my glasses, of which I didn’t, last weekend). Lets go then.

What were my highlights?

Dancing

I’m sure you’re happy to see dancing gets its own respected position in this post.

Did I dig the dance? Absolutely not. I’m still Debby.

When I first knew it had happened and there was no hiding place: During the dance to the signing of the marriage registry.

The joke at home had been that I will only dig the dance when the bride does, in other that the attention is on the bride and not on my feeble attempts. Guys, man proposes, God disposes. Hmm.

Dancing into the reception hall: Chai.

Here’s a funny incidence at the reception- the width between the couple’s chair and mine on stage, was a little distance . So when we settled in, I was facing the world alone (the couple had each other). The couple had to step down to dance with parents at a point, best man was downstairs receiving instructions. I couldn’t sit on stage alone so I started dancing alone on stage for a long time in front of everyone (awkward limbs movement). I didn’t feel hugely embarassed but amused, until I told my mum and sisters later and they were laughing. Mum said I could’ve come down the stage. Then it occurred to me, Debs, you could’ve sat with friends for that period! Face palm. But then what’s life, if we don’t get to embarrass ourselves every once in a while.

Take it people – that’s how I dance. No body coordination.

The message at the engagement

The cordiality and sweet, simple fun at the engagement was a delight.

The decor did not dissapoint. What’s more? I had never expected a sermon like that at an engagement ceremony. It felt like Jesus’ address on that final day of the feast.

True, Deep and Quietly Loud. It was such a blessing that daddy has ordered that the message be packaged separately too by the videographers.

The Worship Night

My sister had said pretty early that she’ll love to have a worship night (i think her phrase was ‘praise night’) on Friday after the engagement ceremony. She had said no instruments, just our singing. I didn’t agree. Psalm 150:3 says to praise God with the sound of the horn; praise Him with the harp and lyre. I arranged for how a keyboard and guitar would be present.

The bulk of those available at the worship night were those with whom we had enjoyed fellowship together at our undergraduate days on campus: differing years of graduation and from different ends of Nigeria, we gathered again and praised the Lord. For me, the song underlying my heart was a Yoruba song saying “I’ll be praising you all my life”. Wherever I am, whenever it is, I’ll be caught praising God with his own people.

There was also a personalized song from the Groom to the bride after the worship session. So beautiful.

The Bridal Shower

We planned a surprise bridal shower in one week several kilometres away from the destination.

I was delighted to know the friends I could count on, and the beauty of it all. I planned certain events and games that didn’t go on, but it was all for good.

The bride’s statement at the shower that Her groom was one who always did what was right by and for her, and she had to be cautious to not take that for granted struck me. I think same goes for us and Christ.

Meeting Taiwo

Yes, Dorcas’ friend Taiwo, is a good Christian and I’m glad to have met her this period. Its an highlight o, because I hope to always leave an impression of Christ-likeness everywhere everywhere I go .

The little bride

She was well-behaved for the most part o. I really liked having her beside me. Esther (my younger sister) had the honour of managing her too.

Now, sitting in the front pew in church, I fed this baby her rice twice. On the second occasion, she gazed expectantly at her meat, so while the sermon progressed, I valiantly attempted cutting beef with a spoon (I had a poker face on).

It failed despite my steady attempts. I did the next best thing, I used my hand. Yes, right there. The meat did not yield. At a cross road, I decided to cut short the baby’s meat expectation and save my dignity. The possible accidents that the peppered meat could have caused till today, know no bounds. Whew.

The Fan experience

Do you experientially know what what it means to fan a bride during thanksgiving?

She’s in a big white dress that makes her perspire, people are dancing around her, she is dancing continuously for thirty minutes and I am there using a fancy hand fan to do what only an industrial fan should do, while I dance too.

It shouldn’t be made a way of life.

When I ran

Twice. At the church. Sighs.

First off, my dress had a train. Consequently, I was overtly saddled with picking up the bride’s train and not forgetting mine. I could’ve tripped on mine and fallen if I ignored it.

So I ran with my train. Dear D, I’m pretty glad at the miracle of it all.

I ran the first time to call the chairpersons for the day who were at the end of my church’s large compound. The bride wanted them to join in taking pictures. I managed this inspite of the crowd happily greeting me, it was like dodging bullets.

I ran the second time after I very conveniently packed the bride’s dress train into into the car and closed the door for her on her way to the reception from church. Sitting pretty in my daddy’s car, happy to have a breather, he hollered “Are you not supposed to be in Dorcas’ car? Who will help her with dress when she gets there?” So I raced after a moving car – my train cautiously following me.

Question Pre-emption : No, I didn’t ask for a train behind my dress. No, I didn’t try on my dress until two days prior.

People ought to have training manual on what it takes to be a chief bridesmaid. I told Dorcas I wouldn’t do it for someone that’s not my best friend.

After all these escapades sha, how do I know I did well and didn’t enter the couple’s book of “people to be mindful of against subsequent events”? The groom has taken to calling me “the best of the best ladies”. That’s good, innit? Together, they also made a mushy phone call to me. Couple affairs. Dear Lord.

Do I feel I didn’t get sufficient time to appropriately greet friends that came? yes

Did I feel an obligation to call everyone one by one, apologize for not having plenty time with them, and thank them profusely for coming too? Yes

Did I, by the following day, call some who travelled, to ask about their journeys? yes

Does this make me feel like the assistant bride? Yes!

Finally, am I ready to honour all those saying to me “you’re up next”? Hehehe. This answer requires it’s own blog post.

Those that asked for gists, I hope you’re satisfied.

Vote of Thanks: I appreciate the love shown to the bride, groom, and assistant bride this period. Let me join the yoruba tribe in saying “tie na a de o” “a ba eyin naa see nkan ayo”.

The experience was a lot more than I recounted here, for lack of space and time. The pictures aren’t satisfactory to me either, but “done is better than perfect”. Hopefully I’ll upgrade the pictures when I get other professional pictures.

In all, a ceremony lasts a few hours but the impact of a home built on the rock of Christ lasts a last time. Thanks for reading.


I considered not putting up this post because:

1) I do not yet have the professional pictures I was hoping to have and use along side, and

2) Today is a prayer conference in my NLS fellowship and we’re all praying ‘fire’. How can I while praying fire, write about a wedding?

But none of those excuses prevailed and so I hope you’ve considered this post worth the while.

With great love, I say see you here with a new post in two weeks. Pending the time, brush through my archives for other posts.

Light, Weddings and dancing,

Debby.

My False Adequacy

Hey guys. I’ve come up with a structure. Posts are meant to come up every Saturday but I’ve been pretty unstable with that recently. Yet, I have heard compliments in recent times about my consistency. Its non–existent in my opinion. Stemming from this, I have decided to clear it out – a post every two weeks for the remainder of my time at law school.

Keep up the communication line when you can, by replying newsletters or using my Contact page. Much Love.


It comes to me as flashes at different times, this quote I published on my blog:

I was pushed into a cell, but you have to push yourself into one. You have no time to know God. You need to build yourself a cell, so you can do for yourself what persecution did for me – simplify your life and Know God

The full blog post is here, I wrote on Christian persecution.

It’s humbling, this discovery I’m making: I am NOT a humble person. Over time, I have somewhat trusted God to lead me into humility ( guys, I was going to type ‘I’ve somewhat been hitting the mark’, but it occurred to me that no humble person really states that they’re humble. Amusing). However, these past few days, my eyes have been open to see humility in a new light. It is so humbling. Here’s it: My pride is displayed when I don’t consciously take time to study the scriptures for two days simply because I’m pressed for time. My pride is displayed when I don’t daily consult the Holy Spirit for all my life decisions anymore. I used to. I have however under the pretext of ‘growth’ and ‘I’m attuned to the holy Spirit always’, given up the place of actually waiting, just quietening down to hear his voice. A false adequacy.

Here’s my take:

The most dependent on the holy Spirit is the one who prays always.The proudest is the one who can weather a day without God, after all I was not given birth to yesterday.” A false sense of adequacy. I need to push myself into a cell.

“this is the one I esteem

He who is humble and contrite in spirit

And trembles at my word” Psalm 66:2

I see “trembles at my word” in a new light. I always knew it to be taking God’s word as final authority, to obey it, to not underestimate it. But now, I don’t tremble at the word if I think two days without it won’t turn my life upside down. I’m saying ‘I’m not a novice at life, I can navigate to some extent’. To ‘tremble at’ it is to inquire, to search it out because I know its veracity.It is to lock up myself in a cell until the light comes. It is to give it more respect than I give law school.Friend, If you can cope without reading the word, you may be in this boat I just left. How you treat the word is in fact, how you treat God.

I’d say it again: The way you treat the word is the way you treat God.

Let’s hope I get round to giving the pictured book a dignified reading, since just its title did wonders to me.


Love from this end,

Debby