Posts tagged stereotypes

The danger of the single story perspective of your life

The single story.
It was the holiday season. The sun had set and evening calm descended upon the neighbourhood. The campus boys in the compound behind weren’t playing obnoxiously loud music. There hadn’t been any football matches during the day either; football matches that often sent their ball flying into our compound which, depending on the mood of our dogs, were licked, deflated or ignored.
My mum and elder sister were the only ones in the house with me. We were at the dinning table, probably one of those days when mum had just gotten back and we were gisting while she ate her dinner. It was a slow evening so I hadn’t told Emil to switch on the generator yet.
The soft glow from the solar-powered lamp illuminated the white walls.
The subject of our conversation must’ve flowed around perspectives for I ran upstairs to fetch my mini-laptop.
I remember setting it down on the table and clicking on Chimamanda’s Ted talk – “The danger of the single story.” – for both of them to watch.
I remember the pride that soared in my heart as Chimamanda’s steady and knowing voice filled the silence in the house.
Chimamanda’s talk on the single story is acclaimed one of the most-widely watched ted talks on youtube with 3.7 million views.
What was she saying in that talk?
How do I summarise that brilliance into a few lines here? I’d rather quote excerpts and urge you to watch the video here:

“I come from a conventional middle-class Nigerian family, and so we had, as was the norm, live-in domestic help who would often come from nearby rural villages. So the year I turned eight, we got a new houseboy. His name was Fide. The only thing my mother told us about him was that his family was very poor. And when I didn’t finish my dinner, my mother would say, finish your food, don’t you know people like Fide’s family have nothing? So I felt enormous pity for Fide’s family.
But one Saturday, we went to his village to visit, and his mother showed us a beautifully patterned basket, made of dyed raffia, that his brother had made. I was startled. All I had heard about them was how poor they were, so that it had become impossible for me to see them as anything else but poor. Their poverty was my single story of them.”

She also tells of her previous single story opinion of Mexicans.
Also, her roommates disposition to her when she was 19 and new in the U.S.

If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, then I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals and incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves, and waiting to be saved by a kind, white foreigner. I would see Africans in the same way that I as a child had seen Fide’s family

…all of these stories make me who I am but to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and overlook the many other stories that form me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Why am I bringing this up?
It’s easy for anyone on my campus fellowship who knows me as a spirit-filled sister to think all that there is to me is something fellowship-related once I’m through with classes. It’s easy for them to think I have no opinion on politics or assume I don’t read novels. assumptions.
It’s easy for someone to view the president of my fellowship as spiritkoko and not know that he likes football, a whole lot at that, or that the P.R.O of the fellowship has a sister who models in the U.S. I’m just painting a picture. We have lives, full lives. Those lives are often viewed through the lenses of sister and brother sososo, that’s okay once your lenses admit that generally, everyone is an human being and Jesus is happy about that.
Not the single story of ”I only see X in fellowship, and X is a student, therefore brother X is made up of classes and fellowship time”.
Single story. The danger of this single story is that brother X starts to live an insecure and people-conscious life.

“…The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Essentially, you must know everyone is a person and persons are subject to idiosyncrasies and a full world of ideas and passions. That your prayer secretary may be nursing the ambition to be the next governor of Oyo state(and it might not make him any less spiritual than if he’d been hoping to be the next missionary). Everyone is a person and Jesus loves them like that, Jesus planted a huge number of those passions in their hearts and Jesus is happy to see them bloom. Jesus doesn’t think they should only pray in fellowship. Jesus supports your vice-president going to the gym.
I believe when you accept it about yourself, you’re able to accept it about others too. Then you’ll stop feeling quite ashamed when someone you’ve mentored spiritually discovers you do something other than study and pray. I was self-conscious for a while until God helped me out of it.
Or worse still, you’ll stop feeling ashamed when someone knows a member of your family isn’t born again. I mean, what? Shame?
Dear friend, live, breathe, bloom, blossom. You’re more than one perspective. The single story is just that, – single.
Tell your own story. Be your own person. Own your story.

so that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing over and over again, and that is what they become”.

What do you think? Care to share?

Freedom and light,
Debby

Ladies and Football; 6 guys give their opinions.

Hiii people. To wrap up this Ladies and football series is another dimension.
You know why I’m interested in these opinions? I think it’s might just be pure stereotype. Is there really a sport meant for only one sex?
That most people of a certain sex aren’t involved or interested in that sport, shouldn’t grant a monopoly of it to the other sex or should it? (Do answer in the comment section).
The dimension: I asked a number of guys their opinion on this question:

“Do you mind marrying a lady who not only loves football, but also plays football?
Do you think its cool?
What has been your experience with ladies who (1), love and (2),play football?”

These are the answers I got:
Dipo
I don’t mind marrying a lady who loves and plays football.
Yeah, I think it’s cool.
My simple experience in relating with such ladies most times is that we communicate and relate better.
David
For me, football is a huge part of my world. therefore having a lady who also loves football is a bonus, especially if we both support the same club. we’ll get to share our victories and console each other when the team loses.
As regards the playing of football, I’m comfortable with marrying a lady who plays football as a hobby, but not a professional footballer.
About personal experiences, I have a preference for ladies with football knowledge as it’s common ground to relate with them, though friendship with Arsenal supporters is tricky, as they’re almost always on a down mood.
Jonah
Ahh…
I don’t mind marrying a lady who loves and play football…( Unless if the playing is too much like three times a week).
Yes, it’s cool to marry a wife you can once in a while play football with.
My experiences
1. Those who love it are nice and love to share their ideas, but they usually cry when their team loses spoiling your mood too.
2. Those who play are usually tough and hard to deal with.
Yemi
Hmmm. The first question ehn. I think I won’t mind marrying a lady that loves watching football because I love that too. But playing football, I actually think it will be difficult or rather rare to see a lady at her mid 20s involved in playing football.
Now, I don’t have experience with ladies who play football, but I do with ladies that watch .
It’s been really cool discussing football with them, but the fact is that you have to educate them on some *known* stuffs in football. They don’t know some intricacies in football, so most times, guys have to tell them about those stuffs which ordinarily are common knowledge to football freaks.
Bayo
I definitely don’t mind marrying a lady who loves or even plays football.
I think it is cool. I have female friends who enjoy talking about football and I must say it is usually exciting, different from when you are talking to the guys.
Wole
Are u kidding me, a lady who not only loves but also plays football is an angel ?.
Of course, I definitely wouldn’t mind marrying her.
It’s supercool.
My experience with ladies who love/play football is that they do tend to be kinda manly, not physically, I mean character-wise.
Which is not so cool but then you can’t have everything right.


Different opinions. ? There’s however however a consensus that it’s cool when a lady loves football, the degree of that love for footbsll being a different thing for each person.


You know, it’s uncalled for seggregating sports. My opinion is that naturally, most ladies would not gravitate towards playing football and that’s O.K. Whatever you want.
However for you as a future primary or secondary school proprietor/propreitress to take an outright stance on the seggragation is to brainwash young minds. Same holds as a future parent.
Or like Simi’s story, to even call a lady that likes football a lesbian. I’m tired.
In the same vein, this that I saw on twitter:

Let’s do better for the next generation. Or what do you think?
If you’re going to live wholly, you can’t be crippled by unfounded societal expectations.
Question to all: what sport have you always considered a female sport?
And if a guy doesn’t fancy football, so be it.
As always,
Debby.

Ladies and Football; Analyzing the big deal (3)

While in secondary school, I had two close female friends who loved football and discussed it every chance they got.
I never knew a football match was scheduled to happen that day until they were discussing. Oh, well. It never did hurt me, so cool.
Except that my new roommate in a space of two weeks after meeting her asked asked me twice if I liked football. So the mind wheels got rolling on how and why women develop a liking for football. That is what this series is about + critiquing societal expectations.


Right now, I can name only a few football teams: Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U, Liverpool, Barcelona. Boy, am I brilliant or what?


I’m granting some female friends short interviews on this subject. I can’t fit them all into one post so its going to come in form of a series.
Happy reading.
The third in the series is here.


Odi
Odi is the reputable roommate who got this series started


1. When did you have your first football consciousness? Did you love it immediately?
I had my first football consciousness when I was 6 years while viewing the 2006 FIFA World Cup with my dad, uncles and my brother and I must say it was fascinating and I did love it immediately
2. Do you think having brothers or a father who loves football impacted your fancy?
I just personally seemed to love football and everything about it early on.
Having a brother made my interest in it grow as he made me play with him almost everyday during our childhood years because he usually had no one to play with. He happens to be the only male in four (4)children and the rest were not interested. We’d play different sports but majorly football. We even made it fun by holding tournaments and awarding each other medals.
3. How do you describe the reaction from both sexes when people discover you love football?
When I say I love football, the question that follows is “are you a tom boy? ” some even go as far as questioning me about my interest and football history so that they are able to ascertain if I’m joking or not. That is on a broad level though.
But individually, the girls are basically weirded out by it, some even disgusted, I remember the recent argument I had with some people and the reactions I got.
For the guys, it’s just expressions of shock that later turn to approving comments. Before now, I used to go to the male hostels just to watch a match I’m interested in. That is how much I appreciate the sport
4. I only watch it? Or I watch and play?
About four (4) years ago, the answer to both questions would have been affirmative but as of now I only watch and don’t play due to some circumstances. I have won various medals ranging from “man of the match” to even “the glove”. The most memorable moment for me was leading my house to clinche the gold medal during an interhouse sports event.
I play as a center forward which greats like Lionel Messi, Harry Kane, Romelu Lukaku also play. I hope to get back to it real soon.
5. On a wild trip(thought), do you mind marrying a guy who has no interest in football? Do you think it weird?
For me, I would marry a man that doesn’t watch football as long as he doesn’t despise it or even interferes with me watching it. Who knows, he might actually love it along the line.
Bonus question: what’s your football team?
I’m a Manchester United man for life.


I think I’ve mostly satisfied my curiosity with this third one. Wednesdays post is a twist to the concept.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. Don’t forget to comment, and share with others.
As always,
Debby.

Ladies and football; Analyzing the big deal (2)

While in secondary school, I had two close female friends who loved football and discussed it every chance they got.
I never knew a football match was scheduled to happen that day until they were discussing. Oh, well. It never did hurt me, so cool.
Except that my new roommate in a space of two weeks after meeting her asked asked me twice if I liked football. So the mind wheels got rolling on how and why women develop a liking for football. That is what this series is about + critiquing societal expectations.


Right now, I can name only a few football teams: Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U, Liverpool, Barcelona. Boy, am I brilliant or what?


I’m granting some female friends short interviews on this subject. I can’t fit them all into one post so its going to come in form of a series.
Happy reading.
The second in the series is here.


Ife
Ife is the second of those friends from secondary school. Ife is one person I think would never get bored of watching football even as a grandmother.
She answers…



1. When did you have your first football consciousness? Did you love it immediately?


Well I had it in Jss1. I think the match I fully remember at first was against Barcelona for champions league final. I went to watch with my dad and my brother at Kwara hotel that day because there was no light at home. Well as you may guess, we lost. I was very pissed that day because we deserved that match and the winning goal was pure ojoro…but you know things just didn’t work our way. Yeah, I think that was my first footbal consciousness, and to answer you next aspect, yes, it was very exciting because we were voicing different opinions to the players eventhough they couldn’t hear us. lol.
2. Do you think having brothers or a father who loves football impacted your fancy?
Yes ooooo….it definetly did, because we were always discusing every pass, drible, foul, penalty kick, corner free kicks and so on. Every messed up game a player was playing and every attempt at a goal too, if it was a good shot…we would all yell and if it was a bad one, we would shout at the player.?

3. How do you describe the reaction from both sexes when people discover you love football?
Its always a surprised look I get and an exciting smirk. The last champions league final that they played, when I was entering the viewing center gate.. those there were all looking at me like ???? what is this girl looking for here? The guy who was beside me was just staring at me whenever I made some comments or I shouted at a player, he was like “…wow”. He said it always excites him when he meets a girl that loves ball.
Well, some girls get picked up from there? and the rest is history.

4. I only watch it? Or I watch and play?

I only watch now. I stopped playing when I was in primary 5. We were playing football in the quadrangle of the school. The ball went out for a throw in, the ball got to my feet and I played a shot. It hit the daughter of a teacher straight on the head and she fainted. I was terrified that day because I knew I was in trouble. She went to report me and I was scolded. I told myself that I won’t ever play again.
5. On a wild trip, do you mind marrying a guy who has no interest in football? Do you think it weird?
Ohhh hell no! What’s the fun in that? Imagine on a saturday as a woman, you sit down, tune the channel to a football station and your husband is like what are you doing? He wants to watch something else…as a football lover, certainly you would be pissed.
So to avoid all that drama…..don’t get involved with a guy who doesn’t love one of the things you’re passionate about because it can cause wahala!
Bonus Question: What’s your football team?
I was born into an Arsenal loving family, so I automatically bcame an Arsenal fan…but I still love some other clubs like Real madrid, Barcelona, Bayern munich, Psg . I just dabble around some English clubs if they play well. over all, I’m an Arsenal fan to the core!


Aww, the primary 5 incidence.
Did you guys also notice Ife has turned to a marriage counsellor over football? She says to avoid wahala. ?


You guys know the drill.
Tell me, what do you think? Ladies, do you fancy football or you have teams just for the sake of being able to make contributions?
Guys, are you indifferent to football? Or you’re saying “please please please!, what’s the meaning of indifference?
Final instalment in the series comes up on Saturday then something exciting the following Wednesday!
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Ladies and football; Analyzing the big deal. (1)

While in secondary school, I had two close female friends who loved football and discussed it every chance they got.
I never knew a football match was scheduled to happen that day until they were discussing. Oh, well. It never did hurt me, so cool.
Except that my new roommate in a space of two weeks after meeting her asked asked me twice if I liked football. So the mind wheels got rolling on how and why women develop a liking for football. That is what this series is about + critiquing societal expectations.


Right now, I can name only a few football teams: Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U, Liverpool, Barcelona. Boy, am I brilliant or what?


I’m granting some female friends short interviews on this subject. I can’t fit them all into one post so its going to come in form of a series.
Happy reading.


Simi
Simi is one of those friends from secondary school that I referred to earlier. Till date, her whatsapp status is filled with football discussions. I just don’t get it. She answers…



1. When did you have your first football consciousness? Did you love it immediately?
I guess I had my first football consciousness when I started playing with my brothers since that was the only fun thing I could do with them other than from watching movies. And yes, I loved it immediately.

2. Do you think having brothers or a father who loves football impacted your fancy?

Yes, I think they influenced my love for football in a way because we watch it together and we even play together.
Infact I remember vividly during the worldcup in brazil that should be 2010 or 2014 my dad used to ask me to wake him up whenever Nigeria was playing if it happened to be fixed at midnight. Sometimes if he was the one awake he would come to my room to wake me whenever the match was about to start. At first my dad didn’t like the idea of me playing but he eventually left me when he saw how much I loved playing football.

3. How do you describe the reaction from both sexes when people discover you love football?
I have found out that only females with the common love for football don’t find it surprising when I say I play football. But guys?? I have had different funny reactions. I have got reactions like “what is a beautiful girl like you doing here?“, “I can’t believe you till i watch you play”. Someone even accused me of being a lesbian.
Infact the funniest was when I collected the award for the sportswoman of the year in my department; when the Mc called me to come forward for the award he was like “Please, what sport?” and when I told him football he didn’t believe me. He said I don’t look like I can play. The sport either has to be table tennis or volleyball or better still, I bought the award!”.
4. I only watch it? Or I watch and play?
I watch and play.

5. On a wild trip, do you mind marrying a guy who has no interest in football? Do you think it weird?
I don’t think I can marry someone who doesn’t love football because there will be no one to discuss or watch football with. So yes, it will be wierd. Infact if I am attracted to a guy once I discover he doesn’t like me playing football or he don’t even like football at all I loose interest immediately.
Bonus question: what’s your football team?
Football team; Chelsea and Real Madrid.


And that’s that! When I was reading it, I was thinking ‘just take me to that MC, let me see what he looks like’. What did he mean by ‘or you bought the award’!? Hian.
P.s: I might be football conscious o. I know there was a Karius or Kairus crisis recently. ?


So tell me people, what do you think? Ladies, do you fancy football or you have teams just for the sake of being able to make contributions?
Guys, are you indifferent to football? Or you’re saying “please please please!, what’s the meaning of indifference?
What else struck you in Simi’s conversation? (Don’t even get me started on the lesbian assumption!)