Today
Hello gorgeous people. This is the third attempt to write this post – thank God this one is a success. I’ve decided to include my earlier attempts as they bear on all I’m discussing today.
Hey guysss. A life update post is due, yes?
Where do I start from? I’ve had an absolute back-breaking week. But its been a delightful week, all the same. I’m almost through with undergraduate studies. Exams are done and dusted, my project submitted today. All that’s left is to have the finalist send-forth program in my faculty, the send-forth in my fellowship too. Every other thing is by the way. Are you aware that I’ll be proceeding to law school this April? No, of course you aren’t. Well, I’m going. That one is a whole long story on its own!
Argh, I’m failing at this life update thing. Where do I even start to write from?
Now I know what to type unlike what I wrote yesterday. I’m not very fine. I’m not. I’m mentally spaced out. I had a scare this exam period with one of my courses – jurisprudence and legal theory. A real scare that kept me thinking I may have a carryover course for the first time ever, which means an extra year. An extra year when I ought to be at law school. An extra year which will depress me and shatter my esteem. So I prayed and confessed God’s word and was assured of his plan for me, especially seeing as I read for the exam, other things simply went wrong.
I’ve had to read so much for my exams, work on my project and plan the externalities involved with it, work on an assignment, justle re-establishing this blog along side, and carried on my head a responsibility at fellowship which felt like it was otherwise crashing at that time.
I’m not so fine mentally. Some days, I feel like my literal heart is heavy. At the risk of appalling everyone, I wonder if I have a rising blood pressure.
Yet in the midst of all this (in a week and a half), I’ve worshipped God and enjoyed beautiful times with him. But at other times, my heart is heavy. It is. I’ve panicked. Panicked about law school and if I was getting anything right, wondered if I was going to be late for my application.
I don’t know, but I don’t like having an heavy heart. I don’t like not being a free-spirited adult. I don’t want to be light and free simply because I’m not thinking of some stuff. I want to be able to think of all I need to and still be light. I don’t want to jettison anything to the corner of my mind like it isn’t real so I’ll have peace. I just don’t want to. I believe in having peace in spite.
Today
This past week I did all the running around under the sun that comes with completing my final year project. I completed my final year exams. I had major stress over completing my law school application in two days to meet the deadline. There was also the general trepidation of law school and the rush attached to the April batch.
In retrospect, I’m just a stickler for perfection; which is good once I can cast aside the worries that come with it. Till today while I type, a number of my classmates are still not through with the law school application or their projects. For everything we’ve had to do, out of 150+ students, I was always in the first seven to submit on the first day required and to do it thoroughly(by myself). So why fret, young lady? Oh young lady.
This leads me to remember an interesting passage in an even more interesting translation:
Phillipians 4:4-7
Always be filled with joy in the lord. I will say it again. Be filled with joy. Let everyone see that you are gentle and kind. The Lord is coming soon.
Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have.
And because you belong to Christ Jesus, God’s peace will stand guard over all your thoughts and feelings.
His peace can do far better than our human minds.
The last two paragraphs always do the wonder. Peace can stand like a guard over my heart. Peace isn’t passive and negligible, its a warrior (just like TY Bello and Sinach sang here). I get to have this peace simply because I belong to Christ. Thoughts and feelings have no chance before my skillful guard.
This applies to you too, my friend.
Onto other things, do you remember last year I mentioned that I wasn’t sure how blogging would go this year. Everyone says law school is a jealous lover, it wants all your attention. But I’ll be sure to come around as often as I can, even if its just to give you life update posts. I miss writing other posts. Please pray for me. Also subscribe to my newsletter because that is the only sure way of keeping in touch with me. Social media will fail.
Its good to write on here again, are you happy to hear from me too? It’ll be good to read something about your own life update too in the comment box.
Tell me, what do you also think of the new blog layout? If you need someone to fix you up with something similar, I have just the right contact.
Till next week Saturday (or so soon before),
Love and grace,
Debby.
