I have noticed that there’s so much shaming, people-bashing or deliberate subbing and shading of our fellows. I say our fellows because there’s a bond there. You are forced to consider that they aren’t just ‘others’. They’re just like you. Sincerely.
Why the attitude?
I’m certain we’ve all heard it said once or twice that someone else’s candle being lit doesn’t stop yours from shining. You have to understand that.
Another psychological cause I can think of is this: maybe we all really feel slightly flawed, so when we see some other person being proven as a flawed individual, it assails our troubled minds. They say misery loves company, right? It probably makes you feel you’re not the blackest of the sheep. Perhaps human nature revels in that.
Or what exactly?
Whatever it is that it is the cause, I’m certain giving off an attitude isn’t the way forward. Are you familiar with the phrase ”pay it forward?”. Simply put, any good thing you do today to help others, indirectly has a way of helping you tomorrow. So, help someone.
Try by being more conscious of those around you and offering something positive rather than offering nothing.
- Give them the opportunity to do things you never got the opportunty to do (this may be hard but you have to.)
- Be totally honest with them both in praises and in criticism. I, for one, can always tell when a criticism is coming from the right place and it goes to show you believe in my capacity to do better.
- Tell people when you think they’re doing something courageous or have something extraordinary.
- Speak with(not at) peope. It gives people a sense of worthiness. In other words, let people’s opinions count with you. You’re not the boss of the world. Listen.
- Appreciate the efforts of someone significantly younger than you or a child. You rarely know it, but it goes a long long way. It’s an “Endorsement from above” lol. Try it, you’ll see, there’s pleasure in strengthening the resolve of someone younger.
- Show kindness to a stranger (someone who can’t repay you).
Affirm people during conversations ( it shows you value their personhood):
- Look at people during conversations, no matter how short the discussion is. I’m serious here. Look. Don’t be that insensitive person who is always doing something else when people are talking to them. If you have to do something simultaneously, apologize and explain your position.
- Another angle to the one above, is when you’re busy or talking to someone else, don’t act like you can’t hear your name being called by another person. Acknowledge the caller, then ask for a minute.
I think we can do beyond believeing in people, we can let them know we believe in them.
#youcanseatwithus not #youcantseatwithus. Not squad squad all the time. Others that aren’t your friends are great too.
And with your friends? Don’t be selfish too. Their success shouldn’t threaten yours.
Why do I really believe in this?
Last week, I found this piece I once wrote in my journal:
”…When I got admission to study law in the first and the best university, my friend sent exactly this to me:
” DEBORAH I think I should congratulate you again on your admission. I believe you are going to be a great lawyer…nothing else suits you more…and I’m damn serious…be a good girl in school. Go out there and illuminate your world. Never stop being a Jesus fan”
Till date she has no idea how much those words meant to me, coming from another aspiring lawyer. “Nothing else suits you more.”.
Shout out to Desola Ibukunoluwa Olosunde. This blog post is dedicated to you.
I hope you get to affirm one person today or tomorrow and then all the days of your life! Its really what God does all through the bible if you observe.
An anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind word cheers him up
Peace and Afirmations,