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TED talks, TEDx Talks; My Experience

I’ve learnt A LOT from TED talks over time. The acronym TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. TED is a media organization that posts talks online for free distribution. The media conferences began in 1984 and 2006, they started posting online for the world to view. These talks are designed to spread ideas which are worth knowing. The talks are given in 18 minutes or less. They must also be free from political and religious beliefs.
Over time it expanded from technology, design and entertainment into talks in all disciplines without border.
Frankly, it helps broaden your perspective, shows you what’s possible and propels you to think, which ultimately enlightens your worldview.

In 2009, TEDx started. X = independently organized TED talks. This way, these talks can be organized locally in every community(subject to TED’S licence) to spread ideas by speakers who are knowledgeable in that industry.
I’m a new member of the Tedx team in UI. TedxUI is pretty new, it started two years ago . I initially thought this post was mostly going to be about our event that held last week Saturday but I’ve found out I barely have anything to really write about that. Will I tell you of how it was a little physically exhausting for the team members, or do I tell you of our initial wardrobe T-Shirt malfunction for the event, or I simply tell you how a speaker I looked forward to hearing wasn’t around, or do I tell you that Simi the popular singer was around, or do I tell you how the breakdown of our itinerary for the day went?

I wouldn’t dare to tell you of each speaker’s talk because that would be such a tasking job now, wouldn’t it? I tried it for this blog post actually, but it didn’t work. However, we intend to have these talks on Youtube soon and you’ll be able to watch them and learn from them.


My best speaker during this event was Ogunbowale Olugbenga. In my books and in that of a friend, this speaker got the concept of a TED talk down to the tee, unlike some others. He brought an idea on how banter can save our lives. He shared the idea using his personal story on discovering he had scoliosis. It was enlightening in all regard.
You want more clarity on TED talks? check the official website. Better still, the best way to really know about it some more? Watch TED videos – they’re everywhere on youtube. And interestingly, there’s a specialized application for it too. Its similar to youtube but its purely TED talks.


Now I’d love to give you my all-time favourite Ted talks and Tedx talks but lol, I’ve forgotten which ones were my best, I simply gleaned ideas from them. However out of the deep love I have for you, I went scouting through over two hundred videos In my youtube history to handpick a few you may start with. My areas of interest may be vastly different from yours and so these may not be your best exposure to TED talks(but I hope they are).
Have a blast.
1. Listening to shame
Others(in no particular order)
10 ways to have a better conversation
My year of saying yes to everything
Change your life by overcoming your fears
Teach girls bravery not perfection
Why we have too few women leaders
How Africa can use its traditional knowledge to make progress
Don’t ask where I’m from, ask where I’m a local
We should all be feminists
If I should have a daughter
Being the real me without apology
How to make stress your friend
Love and light,

Debby.

IVCU 2018 Village Outreach; My perspective in a summary.

Hello everyone. Quite a number of times, I’ve been asked about my silence over here. My mind has been here but my daily actions haven’t aligned. I apologize.
But by my stats, I see you keep coming and you encourage my heart. 💙💙
I’m back. Where do I start from?
What I really want to do is give you a little gist of one of the events I’ve had in the period I’ve been away.
I guess I’ve never stated it explicitly on here, even though I’ve done so indirectly a number of times: I’m a 500level law student of the university of Ibadan, Ibadan, Nigeria and I worship at a campus fellowship: Ibadan varsity Christian Union -NIFES.
My fellowship is under both the auspices of Christian union and NIFES(Nigerian fellowship of evangelical students).
We are very evangelical.
We embarked on a village outreach recently. The village where we had our camp base was Jarija. We’ve visited the surrounding villages in that location for outreaches for quite sometime.
Village outreach take off is always on a Thursday and we stay there till Sunday.
Thursday found me at House no 12, Kurunmi road. It’s a residential area for university senior staff, and this one belongs to one of our patrons in fellowship. A number of us were there cooking; mainly sorting out the fishes to be used for the entire outreach, cooking dinner for that evening + other basics. Someone told me of how the abundance of fish we sorted and cooked, triggered his memory of the Jesus(documentary) film where two fishes became an abundance for all. I know!
Here’s a photo grid of pictures from that thursday:

Everyone had a scheduled takeoff time for the village. Mine was 2:30pm and so at that time, I took off for the chapel within school. At the chapel, we got seated in a bus, the bus was loaded with extra bags of water and we took off.
I led the prayer as the bus took off. I had a book with me which I intended to read the whole journey. However, I couldn’t stop praying once I started. 😀 I kept praying personally.
P.S: why do people always sleep when travelling, even for short trips? I don’t get it. Virtually everyone on the bus slept.
We got to the base, Jarija, circa 4:16pm. We met a team praying on ground, as is always the case. We joined and then we prayed, prayed and prayed. And still we prayed. Later in the late evening, we stopped to rest for a while. Before long, we gathered again, and prayed and prayed. That’s the way thursdays go in the village – pray it through.
The final buses were yet to arrive from school. Eventually, the bus bringing the food arrived really late, I didn’t take note of the time but I guess it was around 12am already. We ate white rice, then had a camp briefing by the Evangelism secretary and off to sleep.
Oh wait, my unit – prayerband, – had a brief meeting where we were counselled to join the entire prayer chain for the night.
We always have a prayer chain during the outreach. Everyone has an hour prayer slot when they’re woken up at night to pray. That way there’s always a group praying all night till dawn. You can always stay for more than your time slot. As prayer band members we were adviced to stay the whole night praying. Erhm, however, after my duly assigned chain of 12-1am, I strolled back to the hostel like a cartoon character, and there I slept.
The next morning, the camp commandants were at it. It was an experience with these commandants. I’ve been in village outreaches before and had commandants but these ones were indefatigable 😁. They wore neon coloured orange vests over their clothes. You wouldn’t imagine how annoying their shouts could get in the mornings but I appreciate their dedication to the work( I’m just being polite). Its exhausting having so much noise around you for the most of the day, and a greater amount of it when you’re just waking up!
I had my personal devotion, then we gathered for general devotion. There was time for us to fetch water and have our bathe – all these, under strict time slot accompanied with loud claps, bells and shouts from these commandants. *Sighs*
We had an exhaustive in-house bible study time. Then we ate our brunch.
Each person falls into an axis as per the norm. We had three axes (OBV, a blog reader pointed out the plural of axis to me; Axes not Axises); A, B, C.
Each axis had about four or five villages underneath it. I was allocated Ladele village but for friday, I was among the group that stayed back to pray through out – remember, prayer band member? We prayed till Axis A members got back from the house-to-house evangelism in the early evening.
The camp base was in Axis A. The format goes thus: after house-to-house evangelism in the villages, the villagers are told about the crusade to hold in a chosen village for each axis. So of the four or five villages in axis B, Omu-Aran was chosen, of the five in C, Akindele was chosen. Ofcourse for A, our camp base, Jarija, was chosen.
At the time we prayer band members paused praying briefly, we quickly broke our fast then gathered to pray again for the crusade about to start.
I soon left the prayers to join those organizing the village children. P.S Flashback – Thursday night after I arrived and we had that mini break inbetween the long hours of prayer, I sat outside with a book (I’m the fresh air + book type of girl). I beckoned to one of the village girls and she came to stay with me. That gave a host of them boldness to draw near me too. But I kept mute mostly because I was a little tired, and more because my yoruba was all over the place. These children spoke expert yoruba, I heard them clearly. I was a little skeptical about speaking the yoruba I tend to speak. I never went to a church where interpretation was made from English to yoruba language so when it comes to words like redemption, repentance, other bible words and general lingua flow, I always stutter. I can however speak household yoruba.
Last year’s outreach, I was going to ask a woman which religion she believed in. Religion in yoruba is ‘Esin’. My people, lo and behold, I asked which ‘aisan’ she worshipped. ‘Aisan’ means illness. That did it. It just did it. Yourubas can be very superstitious. How do I go about explaining that error. Did I mean her harm?
now you get my reluctance to speak yoruba in the face of the expert yoruba these children threw about.

So back to Friday when I joined those organizing the children, I made sure I played the firm aunty’s role. I was telling them I won’t tolerate any noise at all, I made them shout and repeat the memory verses I taught them etc. All theses were done with what we’ll call “bold face*“. When it came to teaching the word though, I gallantly left it to the better yoruba speakers. And yes, I taught them some beautiful songs, I hope they still remember.
The pictures below aren’t capturing even half of them.

P.p.p.s: The children were not as gentle as they appear in the pictures. Take my word for it!
After we were through with teaching the children and giving them gift packs, we helped at the crusade ground where the preaching was going on. We prayed with the villagers that accepted Christ, prayed for their specific needs, and jotted down their address details for follow-up. After that, those from the other axes began to arrive having done same where they were. We had dinner. Then prayer chain began all over.
This night, I couldn’t walk to my hostel like a cartoon character after my 12-1 am prayer chain slot. Why? We prayer and members were no longer adviced to stay all through, but mandated to stay the whole prayer chain so I did. 😀😀. It was amazing. We however had continuous rain showers. Not drizzle. Rain that drenched and soaked us. Rain that caused me to shiver. The involuntary shake shake shiver. But still we prayed prayed inspite of the shake shake shivers.
Saturday went pretty much the same way with routine. By 5pm, the children we had at hand were more in number. The commandants’ claps got louder still, their voices louder. It was almost incredulous.
One thing I always look forward to in our village outreaches is the bible study. We always have lots of time to study under the open heavens. It was a beautiful time again. The only issue was that we had an abundance of sunlight. I mean abundance. Guys, I had sunburn. I’m still recovering from that sunburn(well…, I’ve done really well over these two weeks now). Sunburn so evident, it has been the subject of discussion for almost everyone who’s seen me since then. Like I laughed it off with a friend, the bible doesn’t promise beautiful faces for those who preach, it’s beautiful feet (Isaiah 52:7). But wait, Daniel 12: 3 says those who turn many to righteous shall shine like stars forever more. 😇
Another notable fact: on Saturday, I went for house-to-house evangelism and the prayer band members who did so on Friday were the ones who then stayed back to pray all through the day.
.
Saturday night, after the crusades in each axis, and everyone had arrived, each axis leader gave a report on the souls won, challenges faced etc. Then we had thanksgiving praises to God for all the souls that had been won. We danced till day break.
We woke up and had devotion time. Then thorough cleanup of the environment began. We cleared the kitchen equipments, cleared out our hostels which happened to be the primary school for the villagers. I spent time picking charcoal from the ground and underneath my fingernails looked very blessed with black coal.
Then, the photo gallery sessions began, as people filed out of the village in different batches.
.
I doubt I did justice to the experience in this narration, but this is an attempt to encourage someone else who is otherwise very skeptical every time they hear of a village outreach. It is beautiful to serve. And no, no witches will eat your head off if you’re in Christ Jesus.
Added point: It’s a great time doing what Jesus did while he was here on earth. Try it.
.
Urhm, even though they won’t read this, this post is dedicated to those whose names are still carved in my heart from the village experience. To: Idris, Smart, Aminat, Iya wasiu and that loud woman whose husband has packed out. I’m praying for you.
Ivcu 2018 village outreach: Glad tidings of great joy.
Ever been on a village outreach? What was your experience?
*Bold face means false bravado.

Love,
Debby

One day At A Time

Hiii people.
I debated putting up a post today for one reason: It’s okay.
It’s okay to not put up a post even when I’ve been so consistent in doing so. It’s okay to read for exams and pause blogging for a while.
It’s however interesting that it’s that same reason why I eventually decided to put up this post. It’s okay. It’s okay for me to desire a post at least once a week. It’s okay for me to care for this space so much that I unwittingly find myself back here. It’s okay.
Telling yourself it’s okay is acknowledging your humanity and pressing foward. It’s living simply.
An hymn goes:

One Day At A Time by Cristy Lane
I’m only human, I’m just a woman.
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am.
Show me the stairway, I have to climb.
Lord for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.
One day at a time sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.
Do you remember, when you walked among men?
Well Jesus you know if you’re looking below
It’s worse now, than then.
Cheating and stealing, violence and crime
So for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.
One day at a time sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.

That’s often my song when everything gets too fast paced and wearisome.
I hope you find it in you to say it’s okay. To admit what’s wrong or right and forge ahead.
I hope you find it in you to believe you’re more than the setbacks you’ve had. That possibly, failure is only failure when you make it so. A living dog is better than a dead lion. Ecclesiastics 9:4
Stay encouraged. Stay on top of your life game. And remember you have no excuse for mediocrity. Read my post on A privileged generation for more clarity. No excuses. Right now, I’m all motivated because I’ve been using the benefits of that generation – can I get an amen? 😀
Do have a great weekend. And take a picture of nature this week! Who knows? You might get a good angle without trying hard. 🍻

With all the Love in my heart,
Debby.

Ways I keep the word of God bubbling in my heart

Hello fam! It’s Debby.
I felt slightly strange all week long when I didn’t put out another post on Wednesday. A week interval felt like a long time as I had gotten used to two posts a week. Mine! Glad I’m here now though. Students and Examsssssss!
Today, I’m interested in telling you all about how to keep God’s word in your heart. Does it really stay in the heart? And I’m not talking about being able to quote them. I’m talking of all-through-the-day meditation and application.
I’ll be going about it by telling you the things that work for me. They aren’t exclusive and I’ll like to know what other suggestions you have in the comment box.



1. Sincerity: I like to think I’m super sincere with God. I try to be. I tell him I’ve been finding bible-study difficult. I don’t pray because I’ve been told to, I pray because prayer is communing with him. You know how you’ll be glad to keep up communication with someone you’ll love to have as a mentor, someone who’s the buzz of your industry. If she/he spares you five minutes, you won’t use only two out of those five. You’ll even ask questions you already have answers to, just to keep them talking. God is so much greater than my inspiration or the next big thing. It’s a privilege to keep up the communication line with this brilliant artist, scientist, advocate, technician, teacher and more all in one. Whoa God.
So really it’s a privilege and you should try it. Prayer isn’t boring (once you get past the first few minutes, sometimes). Talk to him about your disinterest in reading the bible. You don’t have to start the conventional way, nor use verbose language, No. Communicate with Jesus.
He’s ready to help ‘‘God, I don’t feel like reading my bible o. I just feel like browsing. Smh for me right? Let’s try audio bible or what do you say…?’’. From my experience, before you’re through with your dialogue (don’t have your heart set on a monologue), you’ll have answers through a scripture that flashes by your heart or through sudden strength to read the bible. Be sincere. God is more interested in speaking to you through his word than you are even interested.
2. Listen to audio bible: This! I learnt it from both my parents especially my mum.
My first beautiful trial of this was through my campus fellowship. I was in 200level or maybe 100. The bible study team gave us the audio bible – “The bible experience” to foster our reading through the New Testament in a short time frame. I enjoyed it! Listening and reading the same translation simultaneously is epic. It always transported me. Subsequently, I’ve used it a lot. You also need this and not some ‘boring’ audio bible narration. I’ve listened to some that are slightly unbelievable in how dull the narrators are. “The bible experience’’ gives you different voices for each character and another for the narrator, all the background sounds are also mirrored e.g If it says Jesus went to the market place, you’ll hear market chatter. I recommend it.

3. Messages: I can’t say this enough I guess. Messages are wonderful because the preachers tell you from the sincerity of their hearts what they’ve understood over many years. You’re able to stand on their shoulders.
Truth is, you get the most of a message by repetitive listening and not just one time.
And as good as messages are, if you listen to many messages without studying your bible yourself, you may start to get confused. Why use the secondary source when you have the primary? What messages are to do is aid your comprehension of God’s word, help apply what you know in theory to everyday life, also give you theological perspectives etc.
4. Sticky notes: If you’re cool with using sticky notes, please do it. Paste them by your worktable. As long as you sit there, you see the memory verse smiling down on you. When I don’t want sticky notes to litter the whole place(which I never want), I write them in little papers like the one below and rotate them often. One stays on top for some days.

Put it as your phone’s wall paper like mine currently is:

just stick it around you. That’s why God’s instruction to the Israelites was:

“never forget these instructions that I am giving you today. Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working. Tie them on your arms and wear them on your foreheads as a reminder. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates.’’ Deut 6:6-9

5. Make it your hobby: what do I mean by this? Don’t waste a moment. Since I got in the university I don’t suppose I’ve wasted the time used in re-organizing my wardrobe – I tend to do this quite frequently because, there’s no space 😊.
Every single time, I click on ‘play all’ for whichever book I choose, often the gospels and I begin to hear Jesus instruct his disciples. I follow him through the synagogue and down to his meeting the centurion. Its an experience really. I recommend this. Never let a moment for rearranging your wardrobe or folding your clothes go to waste – seeing you’ve read this blog post. Again I warn, never fold clothes for nothing.
Listen to a message when you’re cooking. I was telling two friends yesterday that I’m afraid those on the same floor with me would soon dub me ‘the message girl’. Every time I’m washing plates, I listen. Every time I’m cooking, I listen. That way, one point sticks and I get to meditate on it all night long. My mind has no free moment since I give it no choice. It picks up the things I’ve listened to and ponders. Try it; give your mind a new task!
That’s it! Basic but timeless. I remind myself of these things too when I start to slack off.
What do you use? Help us grow!

Love and Peace,
Debby.

A journey down memory lane

I decided to do a throwback down to some old posts on the blog in order to wrap up blogging this month of July 2018.
I read my old posts sometimes and I laugh. Hope you’ve had a beautiful month so far, I think I have. It was quite eventful.
Enjoy.


Fiction
Have you read the tale of this UI student coming from Bodija? She’s unable to speak well in Yoruba, but still, she speaks! || I was trying my hand on a certain type of fiction here. Kene doesn’t know what to think while her friend faces death.
Opinion
This post on why logic isn’t the primary factor in faith/religion, also a question on whether you are able to answer all questions asked about your faith. || This one isn’t old, but I don’t know if you’ve read my telling of the parable of the Bible parable, or in simpler terms, how I lost and found a book.
Book Reviews
I enjoyed reading ‘A blink Of An Eye’ by Ted Dekker and that was apparent in this review, yes? It’s my second book review on the blog ever. || aaaand, have you read my first review? I think it’s also the shortest so far, I don’t know why I’m prone to writing long reviews o. Here,a review of Always the bridesmaid.
Difficult to categorize 😁
So, this orange seller absolutely refused to tell me his name despite my cajoling skills. What’s in a name? Are we always in a hurry? Do we never ask?
Writing and blogging struggles
The struggle with putting up blog posts, does it ever end? Its not beans, like some people would say to denote it’s not easy. Here, I was writing on the same matter a while back. || This other one, It was 1:35am, and I was cooking indomie noodles while penning down my thoughts on my difficulty with writing. 😀😀.
My shortest post on the blog.
In awe of God, I wrote this. P.s: where did my lyrical sense go?


For the whole of August, I wouldn’t post twice a week, only once, on Saturdays. I have my final year exams.
Best wishes.

Love,
Debby.

Therapists; To have or not to have? (2)

Hello precious people. I hope you’re doing fine.
If you haven’t read the preceding part of this post, its here, and it’s crucial to reading this one.
I love the idea of a therapy session. Yep.
But perhaps what I’m really saying is: I love the idea of being listened to. Listened to in a clean space, listened to without expectations or assumptions, and without any need on my part to be comported.
Perhaps what I’m really saying is I like the idea of listening to a quiet voice making me think and reconsider my ways. Why did you throw that birthday party last week? Think.
The alternative title for this post would’ve been ”The therapist within”.
Ravi Zacharias is an Amarican-Canadian-Indian Christian apologist. He has this podcast on his websitelet my people think”. Like I wrote in this blog post on logic and religion, God is not averse to your thinking. He isn’t intimidated by it. Can you then rule Him out of being the brilliant therapist telling you “think” ?
The book of John 14: 26 says I will send you the comforter(the holyspirit).
I think this is so much more cooler, having the therapist within. I don’t need one hour in a week to be asked questions or to ramble. I can; all day, all the time. My call.
I found that the list of things in the previous blog post that make me find therapy desirable are boxes that can be ticked by the Holyspirit.
Comfy office? Yes. What’s the state of my heart?
Me time: you don’t say. He’s absolutely selfless, he lets me run the show talking to him all the time, He’s never bored or irritated by my opinion, even when they’re immature.
Silence? Haha. He’s the king of it. In quietness and assurance shall my people be. I’m so so serious, the Holyspirit in me appreciates quietness. Times of reflection.
Deep: don’t get me started. He throws me punch lines many times. Heart-piercing ones. He just knows my buttons and keeps me gobsmacked by his sheer brilliance through a simple statement.
After-feeling: joy. Pure joy. For me, I’m often singing after. It’s like I start to remember songs I learnt in my childhood because I’m so relieved by our therapy sessions. He helps me close old-chapters in my life and I report people to him too.
Stranger: No. But wanting a stranger is really all about the perks that come with it, and I find them in him too. He won’t get biased.
My people, he helps with burn-outs too and severe bouts of depression and other mental illnesses. He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I’m so proud to say I have the inner therapist. You should try him out. I’m actually happy.
The holyspirit is real. He’s not wind, water, oil or fire. He’s not an influence. He is a person, my personal person. He’s my lover. He puts a smile on my face. Sometimes I instigate lovers quarrel but he’s always right at my door with a bouquet of roses singing our song.
He hears me out and makes me better.
Does he charge per hour? What’s the billing rate?
We’re talking acceptance of Jesus here John 1:12. Upon salvation, every Christian receives him.

Ephesians 1: 13 GOD’S WORD Translation (GWT)
You heard and believed the message of truth, the Good News that he has saved you. In him you were sealed with the Holy Spirit whom he promised

After which, you yield to him more and more. Spend time with him for a robust relationship and you’ll see him do all that and more.
He’s the therapist who lives within. Any time, any day.
THERAPISTS; to have or not to have? This one is a must-have.
Side note: The Holyspirit residing in you doesn’t rule out the need for counselling sessions or therapy, as the circumstances of the case may warrant. Some churches provide counselling sessions. Read this post for brilliant consideration of the fact that they aren’t mutually exclusive of each other.

As always, I like to know your thoughts. Therapy or nah?
Much love,
Debby.

THERAPISTS; to have or not to have (1)

My passive preoccupation for some time has been on the subject of therapists.
Therapy. Therapist.
I planned that after turning it over in my mind a few more times, I’ll put up a post.
Tonight, I’m envisioning the million things I need to do tomorrow and in all that, I remember my thoughts on therapy.
Some people perhaps at the sight of the word ”therapist”, without thinking, they say ‘God forbid’. That’s cool. God forbid.
It’s just that therapy is broader than the narrow stream you’ve perceived it to be while watching T.V.

A therapist’s goal is to help patients make decisions and clarify their feelings in order to solve problems. Therapists provide support and guidance, while helping patients make effective decisions within the overall structure of support.
Source: all psychology schools

What I fancy about therapy appointments, even though I’ve never been to any one are:

  • The comfy offices. They probably have tips for interior designs peculiar to their profession. You do know that your dwelling place affects your mental health, right? It does. I may one day do a post on that, it does.
  • The fact that you can have me-time. You can just talk and talk and you’ll be listened to and listened to. Intriguing right? You’re not careful to not dominate the conversation, rather it’s all yours to dominate. You’re sure the therapist isn’t thinking let this girl finish her statement so I can share my own woes too.
  • The fact that silence is allowed. I don’t understand this restless urge by people to constantly fill silence. Silence isn’t always a void. It doesn’t have to be filled. A little quiet please.
  • The fact that you’re prodded by the littlest of statements. A soft-spoken question can give you time to pull up the fibres of your mind. This is opposed to the rushed living and suppressed emotions most people daily engage in. Here, careful, minimal, conscious living is at work.
  • You leave feeling better because you’re able to close old chapters in your life. You’re able to analyze your relationship with everyone that matters to you. To voice out, for perhaps the first time, all the positive and negative things you think about a person’s character and you don’t have to be careful doing it. (you get what I mean or you don’t? that you love a person doesn’t mean it’s everything about them that sparkles to you. You are permitted to have candid and accurate opinions on your friends and family).
  • You have someone who Is not entangled with your everyday life and living ( a stranger), get into your mind. No expectations from them. No judgements. No need to compose yourself. Compose, bawo?

I’m smiling just thinking of what I’ve written.
Or you’re still waiting for the punch line? Sighs, this is it really. Up there. Put in two words: Reflection time.
Not all therapists can provide you with what I just listed. No. no.
But I think its worth considering. I think therapy just advocates for simple and wholesome living. Yes, you’re a successful and busy investment banker but in your one hour a week, you get to just slow down, keep quiet and wonder why you really threw yourself a birthday party last week. Think on your motivations.
Perhaps since the start of this post, you’ve been thinking that Debby is just talking sha. She doesn’t know those who see therapists see them for serious reasons like mental illnesses and that they pay a lot. You probably whispered the mental illnesses part.
I don’t think mental illness should be whispered. It’s a thing. In Africa, we now recognize it and are starting to care for it, good. But you must understand that a number of people who get depressed, for example, are those who have suffered from burn-outs repeatedly.
Burn-out? Sounds familiar? It means to tire, due to overwork; or to extinguish due to lack of fuel. Occasionally most of us get burned out then pick up again. I think some don’t pick-up and due to tangled emotions and heavy workload, they may eventually get depressed. In light of that, do you now see why the little things matter and are worth discussing? Perhaps in therapy?
You are important so little things that affect you count in the grand scheme of things.
You still don’t think so? okay, share your thoughts.
Like I said, I’ve never been to a therapist, this is my imagination canvassing for it. But perhaps I’m also saying something more and for lack of space, this would be continued in the concluding part of this therapy discussion coming up on Wednesday. I hope you’ll be around to read it.

Love,
Debby.

The danger of the single story perspective of your life

The single story.
It was the holiday season. The sun had set and evening calm descended upon the neighbourhood. The campus boys in the compound behind weren’t playing obnoxiously loud music. There hadn’t been any football matches during the day either; football matches that often sent their ball flying into our compound which, depending on the mood of our dogs, were licked, deflated or ignored.
My mum and elder sister were the only ones in the house with me. We were at the dinning table, probably one of those days when mum had just gotten back and we were gisting while she ate her dinner. It was a slow evening so I hadn’t told Emil to switch on the generator yet.
The soft glow from the solar-powered lamp illuminated the white walls.
The subject of our conversation must’ve flowed around perspectives for I ran upstairs to fetch my mini-laptop.
I remember setting it down on the table and clicking on Chimamanda’s Ted talk – “The danger of the single story.” – for both of them to watch.
I remember the pride that soared in my heart as Chimamanda’s steady and knowing voice filled the silence in the house.
Chimamanda’s talk on the single story is acclaimed one of the most-widely watched ted talks on youtube with 3.7 million views.
What was she saying in that talk?
How do I summarise that brilliance into a few lines here? I’d rather quote excerpts and urge you to watch the video here:

“I come from a conventional middle-class Nigerian family, and so we had, as was the norm, live-in domestic help who would often come from nearby rural villages. So the year I turned eight, we got a new houseboy. His name was Fide. The only thing my mother told us about him was that his family was very poor. And when I didn’t finish my dinner, my mother would say, finish your food, don’t you know people like Fide’s family have nothing? So I felt enormous pity for Fide’s family.
But one Saturday, we went to his village to visit, and his mother showed us a beautifully patterned basket, made of dyed raffia, that his brother had made. I was startled. All I had heard about them was how poor they were, so that it had become impossible for me to see them as anything else but poor. Their poverty was my single story of them.”

She also tells of her previous single story opinion of Mexicans.
Also, her roommates disposition to her when she was 19 and new in the U.S.

If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, then I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals and incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves, and waiting to be saved by a kind, white foreigner. I would see Africans in the same way that I as a child had seen Fide’s family

…all of these stories make me who I am but to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and overlook the many other stories that form me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Why am I bringing this up?
It’s easy for anyone on my campus fellowship who knows me as a spirit-filled sister to think all that there is to me is something fellowship-related once I’m through with classes. It’s easy for them to think I have no opinion on politics or assume I don’t read novels. assumptions.
It’s easy for someone to view the president of my fellowship as spiritkoko and not know that he likes football, a whole lot at that, or that the P.R.O of the fellowship has a sister who models in the U.S. I’m just painting a picture. We have lives, full lives. Those lives are often viewed through the lenses of sister and brother sososo, that’s okay once your lenses admit that generally, everyone is an human being and Jesus is happy about that.
Not the single story of ”I only see X in fellowship, and X is a student, therefore brother X is made up of classes and fellowship time”.
Single story. The danger of this single story is that brother X starts to live an insecure and people-conscious life.

“…The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but they are incomplete, they make one story become the only story”

Essentially, you must know everyone is a person and persons are subject to idiosyncrasies and a full world of ideas and passions. That your prayer secretary may be nursing the ambition to be the next governor of Oyo state(and it might not make him any less spiritual than if he’d been hoping to be the next missionary). Everyone is a person and Jesus loves them like that, Jesus planted a huge number of those passions in their hearts and Jesus is happy to see them bloom. Jesus doesn’t think they should only pray in fellowship. Jesus supports your vice-president going to the gym.
I believe when you accept it about yourself, you’re able to accept it about others too. Then you’ll stop feeling quite ashamed when someone you’ve mentored spiritually discovers you do something other than study and pray. I was self-conscious for a while until God helped me out of it.
Or worse still, you’ll stop feeling ashamed when someone knows a member of your family isn’t born again. I mean, what? Shame?
Dear friend, live, breathe, bloom, blossom. You’re more than one perspective. The single story is just that, – single.
Tell your own story. Be your own person. Own your story.

so that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing over and over again, and that is what they become”.

What do you think? Care to share?

Freedom and light,
Debby

BOOK REVIEW — Leota's garden

TITLE: Leota’s garden
AUTHOR: Francine Rivers
PAGES: 807 (my copy)
Review
Leota’s garden is a book on hope. It starts slowly but warms its way into the reader’s heart until said reader sheds a tear or two.
Leota
Old Leota is a cantankerous person who complains all the time to the only person available to hear her – God. She’s the picture of that old hag who startles and scares off a child in their own garden when they see her staring at them through a window.
Everything in Leota’s house is old and broken but that doesn’t devastate her; what does devastate her, is her garden – Once a colourful embodiment of life and bloom, now ruined.
Annie
Annie runs away from home because she doesn’t want to become bitter like her mother, she’s desperate to leave the suffocating clutch that’s her mother’s love and follow her own dreams to study art.
Corban
Corban works to fill his void but only doesn’t realize the void he’s filling is a drum with no base; it’d never be full. When would he get a life bearing? Would it be when he pieces the clues from three certain women in his life ?
Its an intricately woven tale of how hurt and bitterness grows where there once was love and family; a replica, you might say, of Leota’s garden. It’s a tale of what happens when you learn to let go of your insecurities and live one day at a time. I cannot tell you what happens if you learn to live so, but this book does, and in unforgettable ways.
Francine Rivers is notorious for her capacity to highlight terrific subject matters in the easiest of ways; without shouting, she addressed the issue of women’s loneliness in marriages and the issue of euthanasia.
There’s the evident theme of forgiveness and embracing reunions; also of absolute surrender to God.
she incorporated humour that had me grinning broadly.
The characters are a whole lot and they’re all credible. If you’ve read the book,I’d say Susan and Sam are my cool people, and sweet Jeanne.
The writing style is informal and I believe a novice reader would have no difficulty as there’s no uncommon show of literature prowess.
Excerpts for you:
Then again, maybe she was being unfair to Corban. It wasn’t entirely his fault he was so puffed up with knowledge that he didn’t have a lick of sense. Education was no less an idol these days than it was in the past. Corban didn’t have her advantages. Sometimes the school of hard knocks taught more than the best universities in the land.
Leota’s convo with God always amused me:

Lord, is this why You put it in my head to get everything sorted out when I did? This is a dirty trick. I am not pleased. Not one-bit .

Leota knew the Lord was with her everywhere she went-even in that depressing hospital-but she had always felt His presence here the most. Is it because everything of great importance happened in a garden, Lord? Man fell in the Garden. You taught in a garden. You prayed Your passion in a garden. You were betrayed in a garden. You arose in a garden. I love this place, for when I sit out here, I see the wonder
of Your creation. I smell the earth and flower-scented air, and it soothes me. It reminds me that Your hand is in it all. For I heard the voice of the Lord in the garden, calling to me.

Who do I think will like this book? Try a person interested in inter-personal relationships!
I rate this book a beautiful 4 stars. You’re gold, Francine.

2018 Life Update (3); Libraries, Retreats and Expensive Photographers.

Hello guys.
It’s about time for another life update post. I’m however tired of my previous format so I’m switching it up.
The discussion is on Faith, School and Photography.
School
There’s a library membership I registered for last year. The subscription is to be renewed financially every session. It was wonderful using it last year because the place is very serene and homely.
I hadn’t visited the library since this session started. Oh, I did once. Today’s the second time. I’ve missed this place. It has an effect of taking my mind off my daily routine. I’m glad that I’m back.
Still on the subject of school, my faculty is yet to release the approved project topics for we finalists this session. Everyone is asking. The delay is unusual and the first semester is almost over. I know we’ll be fine eventually. You won’t believe I still second guess the project topic I chose. I’ll keep you guys posted as the days wear on.
Photography
I think I’m due for new pictures but I’m not prepared for this entrepreneurial revolution of high prices. Let me explain:
I wrote this to my photographer friend on Sunday night:
So, this girl doesn’t have any professional picture. None for LinkedIn.
None for any publication she might submit.
None for her blog’s bio.
This girl doesn’t have semi-formal pictures. None for her blog posts which bloggers love to have.
This girl’s only photographer friend (she’s amazed at this by the way), is not interested in doing business. Since 2015 sef.
This girl has a classmate who took a beautiful and simple studio picture. This girl asked her classmate to link her up.
The photographer sent this girl a price list and this girl has been wondering if she won’t give up on the photographers of this generation for good.
You people that have photographer friends that take you pictures up and down, you are enjoying o. Enjoying a lot.
It started during my last birthday in September. Just two days before it, I thought “let me take some pictures sef” haha. It shocked me out of my wits.
come see problem. Problem problem. It makes me wonder; is it that the prices of the cameras they buy are so huge that they must make big profits out of each contract(I actually know the cameras and gadgets are expensive)? Or they get so few customers that the ones who approach them must be used as atonement for the bad business days?
Just a student here. Aren’t there photographers with good quality cameras that support the cause of students?
I’m just a student who doesn’t believe in using all her money on herself.
So Photographers, educate me.
Faith
I had a beautiful all-house retreat time this past weekend. It was enlightening. It’s actually a program organized by the assembly of all fellowships on my campus, but I purposed before hand that it would be a retreat session for me so I came prepared.
Still on the subject of Faith, this is currently my favourite scripture passage:

But I reckon my own life to be worth nothing to me; I only want to complete my mission and finish the work that the Lord Jesus gave me to do, which is to declare the good news about the grace of God.
ACTS 20:24

Remember my post strong friend, it must move beyond theory to practical. When last did you tell someone the brutal truth?
Love and Light,
Debby